CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
TESSA
The drive doesn’t even register, not outside of the songs or pleas for Maddox to stay with me or the annihilating ache in my chest. I blast into the safe-harbor entrance, and dozens of guards and medical staff rush for us, pulling the doors open before the car is even turned off.
They move Maddox to a stretcher and place me in a wheelchair, despite my protests.
I try to fight them, to jump to my feet, but dizziness and nausea blanket me like a straitjacket.
“I’m going with him. Don’t even fucking try to stop me,” I grit out as one of them dabs at the crusty blood on my head and wheels me beside Maddox.
“Fine.” Kane squeezes my shoulder. “Keep her with him while you treat her.” He peers down at my tear-soaked face, empathy shading his features. “Don’t grip that knife so tight when you’re shouting orders at the staff, darling.”
It’s then that I realize I’m clutching my bloody Karambit.
I don’t even remember pulling it out. Maddox would praise me for that even though it’s clear I’m losing my mind.
A sob racks through my chest, but I fight it.
Until I see the doctors and nurses tending to his limp body.
It jolts from something they’re doing, and a shriek of agony escapes me. It’s like I’m outside of myself.
And the world and life and everything that matters swirl around me, buzzing with energy I can’t quite process.
It’s the damn fluorescent lights and the incessant beeping.
The conversations and noises from the medical equipment all fade into a fictitious playlist that my brain seems to be conjuring in lieu of what Maddox would choose. A new type of list.
He should have music. He needs music.
A doctor pokes and prods at me, saying things like deep gash and concussion and surgery.
“Surgery?” I parrot.
“Maddox,” she explains. “They prepped him. You did good. The seal and getting him here so fast is why he’s alive, but it progressed to pneumothorax, and they need to get the internal bleeding under control. They’re taking him now.”
I’m not sure what pneumothorax means, but it doesn’t sound good.
“I need to go—”
“After I sew you up, I’ll see what we can do,” she lies.
Smacking her away, I push out of my chair and demand to have a moment with him.
They don’t pause their trek, but they allow me to slip closer and dash toward the operating room with them.
He’s got an oxygen mask on, a tube in his ribs, and an IV in his arm.
I squeeze his hand, my fear and agony splashing onto his tattooed skin.
He’s pallid and listless. A shadow of the man who dances through life.
Vomit fills my mouth, but I choke it down.
It all pisses me off.
“Don’t you fucking die on me, Maddox. You don’t get to fucking do that—make me fall in love with you and then leave me.”
Dr. Landry cocks his eyebrow at me, as if he can’t believe that’s how I’m going to leave it.
An unbidden growl rumbles from my chest before I scold him, “Stop looking at me. Don’t. Let him. Die.”
With that distressed command still bitter on my tongue, they rip Maddox away from me.
I crumple to the floor, and I scream. Seconds bleed into senseless minutes.
Somehow, I end up in a chair, a blanket draped around my shivering body.
They’re sewing up my head wound, and I’m finally feeling less fuzzy. And slightly less angry.
Words catch in my brain again, like an echo under water. Stitches. Agitated. Shock. Needs to stay calm.
“We’ve got her from here.” That’s Axel’s voice. It hooks into me like an anchor.
My chin snaps up, and I find him with Ryker and Jax.
An odd sense of tranquility cocoons me, so I stand, and before I can even throw myself at them, they envelop me.
And my silent sobs are liberated. I shake and mumble nonsensical worries, and they kiss my hair and hug me and assure me everything will be okay.
They don’t know that.
Ryker palms my head. “Gentry is taking Remy, and then Mercy will be here soon. You need to rest.”
“I can’t rest,” I mutter, running my tongue over a crack in my swollen lip. “I want updates on what’s happening with him. They didn’t tell me much, or they did, and I couldn’t process it. My head was spinning.”
“The surgery will take at least a couple of hours. Maybe more.” Axel swallows, as if he’s choking down vomit too.
“His lung collapsed. They need to repair internal bleeding and explore a deep stab wound they believe may have caused some organ damage. I’m headed back there now to see if they have anything for us. ”
“I’ve got her,” Jax says, knowing exactly what I need to hear. “We’ll listen to music—Mad’s favorites—outside the OR, so we don’t miss anything.”
“Hang on.” Axel waits until my eyes connect to his intense sapphires. “Your parents are on their way down.”
“I don’t want my mother here,” I snap with a sandpaper delivery. “That’s the last thing Maddox needs.”
My outburst doesn’t appear to bother him. He’s as controlled as ever, albeit plainly distraught about his brother.
“Maddox insisted that if anything were to happen to him, I was to facilitate things between you and your family. You are injured. They’re staying here. They needed to be notified. And Derek and John needed to be taken for questioning, so …”
I almost forgot about all the revelations that came to light before the chaos. “You apprehended them?”
“Kane did as soon as he got you and Maddox safely here. I called your father to explain what was happening.” When a guard motions to him, he nods and turns back to me.
“They’re waiting in the passageway, desperate to know you’re okay.
Ryker and Jax can take you to see them while I get an update on Maddox’s condition. ”
The remembrance of the conversation we had before we crashed has my desires flipping upside down just as vehemently as our Escalade did. I squirm out of Jax’s hold and storm toward the hall. Ryker grunts behind me, and Jax huffs a light chuckle, both of them staying in stride with me.
When I swing open the door, my father’s face falls, relief and despair bending his features. He immediately steps toward me, planting a gentle kiss on my cheek before giving me the space that I clearly crave.
Eden and Violet are here too. Red-rimmed eyes and despondent frowns.
“Oh Lord, honey,” my mother gasps when her gaze sails over me, arms open and rushing for me.
Throwing up a reproachful hand, I step back, even though part of me wants to let her hold me. It’s too late for that. Instead, I launch the first of many questions. “Did you know?”
The sight of my family gathered in the secret tunnels of La Lune Noire, surrounded by brick and history, nostalgia and codes, has possessiveness wringing my veins. My skin itches to cast them away from here. This is Maddox’s domain. And mine. They don’t get any part of it.
Eden swipes at the droplets of anguish on her cheek. “It’s more complicated than you realize. Or maybe you do. Look at you.”
My hand rises to the stitches along my hairline of its own accord. To my broken lip and swollen cheek. Then my vision snags on the purple bruises on my arms and the smattering of blood. I look to Ryker with a silent question.
His forehead scrunches with worry. “You’re pretty banged up, Tess.”
“She didn’t know she was hurt?” my father asks in confusion.
“Like Axel mentioned, she was in a car accident. She has a severe concussion and has been experiencing a lot of disorientation. My brother is in bad shape, so she was also in shock. But even with all of that, your daughter managed to save his life.”
I’m frustrated that they’re discussing me as though I’m not present, but I don’t think I fully am. Part of me is on that gurney with Maddox, watching his lungs fight for breath and a bullet swim in his bloodstream. His enigmatic grays vacant.
“This is what I was afraid of,” my mother whispers.
An indignant scoff bursts out of me. “You were afraid I’d be in a car accident?”
Her eyes grow flinty, her jaw tight. “I was afraid that you’d burn alongside them.”
Using a metaphor that draws from what really happened to their mother has me seeing red.
I briefly check on Jax and Ryker, who both dip their chins to assure me they’re okay, so I set my mother straight.
“Don’t you dare say one word about this family or these men or their mother, who loved them well.
Have you no decency? Maddox is fighting for his life because he was protecting me from something I did—”
“Tessa,” Ryker chides. “Enough.”
He doesn’t want me to share that I’m the killer. That his brother is in surgery because he covered for me. And yet still, even with that knowledge, he stands protectively by my side. As does Jax.
“I think a lot about your idea of family is going to change, baby.” Maddox said that so casually on July Fourth, but it’s true.
I’ve never had anyone stand beside me like this, when they have every right to abandon me. Most people walk away, even when I fight for them.
Violet’s eyebrows pinch. “Something you did?”
She sounds genuinely perplexed, and maybe she doesn’t understand why Maddox would be defending me tonight regarding what happened two and a half years ago, but I’m not buying her complete innocence.
“I’m not disoriented enough to forget what I learned before …” I trail off, summoning the ire I need to stay focused. “You all knew about the money.”
“Mom and Dad didn’t,” Eden jumps in. “What do you know about the money?”
Maybe I am experiencing disorientation because I can’t follow this conversation, but I do my best to keep up. “I know Hunter, Derek, and your husband have been laundering money in the Bahamas for Shane Graham.”
“Okay.” Eden flings her arms out and shakes her head. “If you knew that, why didn’t you take care of it yourself?”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I growl, and Ryker clamps his hand on my bicep, urging me to stay calm, so I steady my tone. “Take care of what?”