Is It New Year’s Yet?
IS IT NEW YEAR’S YET?
Zakiya N. Jamal
Win was twenty-five years old, and she still didn’t know how to say no to her parents.
Maybe it was because she was an only child, or maybe it was because at her core, she was a people pleaser, but she could not tell her parents no, no matter how hard she tried.
This was why she found herself stuck between them as they stood outside of the Jacksons’ house for the Jacksons’ annual New Year’s Eve party.
Less than a minute after they rang the doorbell, Bria Jackson, the youngest of the two Jackson children and one of Win’s oldest friends, opened the door with a flourish.
Christmas music and the smell of the usual crab puffs, shrimp cocktails, and other finger foods the Jacksons always served at these things wafted out all at once.
“Winnie the Pooh!” Bria said, grinning.
Win rolled her eyes. Her real name was Wendy Campbell, but when they were kids Bria and her brother decided to call her “Windy,” and over the years that got shortened to “Win,” and then Bria decided Win’s name in her phone should be “Winnie the Pooh.” Now the name had stuck.
“Mr. and Mrs. Campbell, how are you?” Bria asked.
She stepped to Win’s mom first, pulling her in for a hug.
Next was Win’s dad, followed by Win herself.
Bria smelled like she’d fallen into a tub of Bath & Body Works holiday fragrance—a mix of cinnamon and vanilla, and it was thankfully pleasant but not overpowering.
When Bria pulled back, Win took in her ensemble.
The Jacksons’ New Year’s Eve party always had a theme, and this year it was “Black & Gold.” Tonight, Bria looked stunning.
She was wearing a long shimmering gold dress that hugged all her curves, with a slit that came up to her knee, and her dark curls were pulled up in two neat puffs with gold twine.
Her dark brown skin was also glowing with gold body glitter.
Win had gone the black route with her outfit, wearing a short black cocktail dress with a corset-like top and tulle bottom that gave tutu vibes.
Her mother scolded her for not dressing for the cold weather, but they were going from their house to the car to the Jacksons’ house.
Win could handle it, though she was ready to go inside now.
Well, she was mostly ready. She wondered if there was any possible way she could avoid Bria’s brother for the whole night.
Somehow, she doubted it, but there was no going back now.
Bria grabbed Win’s hand, pulling her into the house, Win’s parents following close behind.
Bria and her family always went all out for the holidays.
Their house was tastefully decorated with Christmas lights, a Black nativity scene on one side of the lawn and a Black Santa Claus on the other.
Inside, there was a gorgeously decorated Christmas tree in the living room beside the fireplace, where stockings for each member of the family hung.
Guests dressed in their finest milled around, drinking and chatting, and hired staff walked around with trays of food and champagne flutes.
“May I take your coats?” a man asked Win.
“Oh yes, sorry,” Win said, shrugging out of it as her parents did the same. Win held on to her wristlet, which was only big enough to hold her phone and lipstick in case she needed to reapply.
The party was like this every year, and it still threw Win off-kilter every time.
Win’s parents and Bria’s parents had been best friends since before they had kids, and when Win was five her parents moved one neighborhood over from the Jacksons specifically so their kids could grow up together.
As such, Win had practically grown up in this house, so she’d always been aware the Jacksons were wealthy, or “comfortable,” as her dad once said when she asked if the Jacksons were rich.
But there was a difference between sliding across the perfectly polished floors to see who could go the farthest and seeing the house filled with a catering staff and a bunch of other “comfortable” people in their best black-and-gold ensembles.
“Rob! Tyra!”
Bria’s parents were making their way through the crowd to Win’s parents.
They looked fabulous, as always. Bria’s dad wore black slacks and a black button-down shirt with a gold tie that matched his wife’s gold dress, which Win guessed was the same one Bria was wearing, though there was no slit, so Bria must’ve had that added to hers.
Everyone exchanged hugs, and Bria’s mom held Win out at arm’s length.
“Oh, Win, you look beautiful,” she said. “Has it really been a year since I last saw you?”
Win nodded. “I think so. I’ve just been really busy with work lately. It’s a new job, so you know how it is.”
Along with their annual New Year’s Eve party, the Jacksons were always throwing some kind of event for charity or another holiday throughout the year, but Win had been dodging all their invitations.
After what happened at last year’s New Year’s Eve party, she’d decided the only way to save herself from further embarrassment was to hide from the entire Jackson family, so other than meeting up with Bria every so often when Bria was in the city, Win had been keeping her distance, and it had been working.
Until now.
“Don’t work yourself too hard, honey,” Mrs. Jackson said with a soft pat to Win’s cheek. “There’s more to life than work.”
“I know,” Win said. “I won’t.”
“Good.” Mrs. Jackson smiled before turning her attention to Win’s parents. “We need to get you two a drink. Follow me.”
“What about Win?” Bria asked. “She can drink too.”
“Not the good stuff,” Mr. Jackson said. “That’s saved for the grown-ups.”
“As if we don’t know where the wine cellar is,” Bria said with a huff once their parents walked away. “Little does he know, I already grabbed one of his bottles of The Macallan and stashed it in my room.” Bria grabbed Win’s elbow. “Let’s go.”
Bria made for the grand staircase that led to the second floor, and Win quickly followed.
However, as they got closer to Bria’s room, Win could hear different music and voices filtering out, and she realized her mistake.
Of course Bria wouldn’t be leading Win to her room so they could hang out alone.
No, Bria’s room had become the “kids’ ” party, at least for now, which meant anyone else under the age of thirty, including Bria’s brother, was most likely waiting on the other side of the door.
“I’ll be right back,” Win said just as Bria’s hand reached the knob. “Bathroom.”
“Okay,” Bria said with a shrug.
Win quickly scurried away to the farthest bathroom in the house, down in the basement, which doubled as the family’s gym. She hoped most of the party guests wouldn’t think to go down there. Win just needed a second alone before she faced Benjamin “Ben” Jackson.
Except the universe clearly hated her, because when she reached the bottom of the stairs, Ben was sitting on the weight bench, elbows on his knees, as he scrolled through his phone.
Just like his dad, he was in all black with a gold tie, and he looked good, as per usual.
The button-down shirt stretched tight along the muscles of his arms and chest, and his hair was freshly cut, with sharp lines around his forehead and his full beard perfectly trimmed.
She could almost feel the ghost of it against her skin, along her face and then her neck as he kissed her.
Ben looked up, and their eyes locked. Neither of them moved, and it took everything in Win not to fidget as Ben took her in.
Her hands itched to run down her dress to smooth out any potential wrinkles, or pat down her hair to make sure the wavy curls she’d worked so hard on were still falling effortlessly down to her shoulders.
She didn’t do either, though. Instead, she waited patiently for Ben to do or say anything. Finally, he stood.
“Win.”
It was all he said. Just her name. Except it felt like so much more than that.
They hadn’t seen each other or spoken since they were in this very house exactly one year ago.
Or rather, Win hadn’t spoken to him. Ben had texted and called, but Win had ignored it all, until Ben had finally given up and stopped reaching out altogether.
Now Win didn’t know what to say. What did you say to someone you used to talk to almost every day for your whole life but then ghosted for a year?
“Hi” was all she could come up with.
“How are you?” Ben asked. The question sounded unsure.
“I’m good.” Win paused. “You?”
“Good,” he said.
Win waited for him to say more, but nothing else came.
Instead, they were enveloped by an awkward silence that neither of them seemed to know how to fill, and Win hated this for both of them.
When they were kids, Win was closest to Bria, but the three of them—Win, Bria, and Ben—had always been an inseparable trio.
Ben was older than them but only by a year, and even when he started making other friends and even girlfriends, he’d always make his way back to Win and Bria.
They told one another everything, joked about their ridiculous parents, helped one another study for exams, and were always there for one another.
Then when Bria decided to go to college on the opposite side of the country, while Ben and Win both chose to go to school in the city, it was Ben who Win would call when she got homesick, and it was Ben she’d take the Long Island Rail Road back home with every holiday break.
In the past few years since they’d all graduated college and become real adults (allegedly), Ben and Win had remained in the city and had comfortably brought each other into their new lives with their new friends.
It was almost inevitable that Win had caught feelings.
She’d always had a small crush on Ben, but it was something she’d pushed to the back of her mind, hidden behind the we’re just friends and it’s not like that lines that kept her heart safe.