Is It New Year’s Yet? #3
“Sorry, sorry, I’m just trying to imagine a grown man going by ‘Teddy,’ like the bear,” Win said.
“It is a very common nickname for guys named Theodore,” Ben said, almost defensively. “Ever heard of Teddy Roosevelt?”
“In my textbook,” Win said.
Ben pulled his hands away so he could flip her off, and whatever tension was left between them popped like a balloon. Above all else, Ben was Win’s best friend, and it felt good to remember that.
“Teddy was the first man I ever wanted to actually try something with,” Ben said. “And it was nice with him. Great, even.”
Win’s heart ached hearing this, but she didn’t want to tell Ben to stop. She wanted to be supportive the same way he’d been when she and Bria had come out.
“The longer things went on with Teddy, the more I wanted to share it with you,” Ben said.
“It actually took more effort for me not to tell you. I just… Whenever I saw you, all thoughts of Teddy went out the window.” Ben glanced up at her, and his face looked pained.
“I think I knew on some level that if I told you about Teddy, whatever was happening between us would end, and I didn’t want it to. ”
Win knew she probably should’ve felt upset that he essentially wanted to have his cake and eat it, too, but she couldn’t. Hadn’t she done the same thing? She’d dated people knowing how she felt about Ben, and she hadn’t exactly shared all her sexcapades with him either.
All she really needed to know was if anything had changed from last year to now.
“Are you still with Teddy?”
Ben shook his head. “We broke up.”
“When?” Win asked. She wasn’t sure why it mattered, but she needed to know.
“About a month after you and I kissed,” Ben said. “I felt guilty, and he could tell something was going on, so I finally told him the truth. Surprisingly, he wasn’t mad. He just asked me if I felt guilty for kissing you or for letting you go.”
“What did you say?” The question came out as a whisper.
“Both,” Ben said. “If I was being honest, I wanted to kiss you long before that night, and I hated myself for not telling you.”
Win’s heart and mind raced as she tried to digest what Ben was saying.
Meanwhile, he’d taken her hand and laced their fingers together, his thumb gently stroking the back of her hand.
From upstairs the sounds of holiday music and increasingly louder chatter filtered down, but it barely registered for Win.
It was like she and Ben were in their own world.
“I can’t pinpoint when exactly things changed,” Ben said, his gaze focused on their hands.
“I think maybe the feelings have always been there, in the background. I remember when you moved into your apartment and we had to keep going up and down from the van with all your boxes and we were so exhausted that all we could do was lie on your floor with a pizza and beers. I remember looking at you. You were wearing overalls and one of my T-shirts that you must’ve stolen.
You looked so beautiful I swear I couldn’t breathe for a second. ”
“Ben, it was like eighty degrees that day and we’d basically done a workout,” Win said, incredulous. “I did not look beautiful.”
“You did,” he said. “Like you do now.”
He finally looked up at her, and his gaze was so piercing it was startling. It was like he could see straight through her, and maybe he could. Ben probably knew her better than anyone, and she him.
It was why she knew he was going to kiss her.
In a way, it almost felt inevitable, like they were always going to end up back here in his parents’ house, finishing what they’d started a year ago.
Except this time, Ben was the one doing the leaning, one hand moving up to cup Win’s cheek as he lowered his mouth to hers, but Win pulled back.
“I’m sorry, I thought—”
“You thought right,” Win said, cutting him off. “I want this. I want you, but, Ben, it’s been a year. Why didn’t you reach out when you and Teddy broke up? Why didn’t you tell me how you felt then? If I hadn’t come tonight, would you have ever told me?”
“Yes, of course I would have,” Ben said. “Win, do you know how many times I went all the way to your building, ready to knock down your door just so you would speak to me again?”
“Then why didn’t you?” Win asked, almost desperate. “This whole time I thought this was all me. That I had ruined things between us by kissing you. I stayed away because I was so embarrassed.”
“I kissed you too,” Ben said. His hand was still on her cheek, and he tilted her head so she would meet his eyes.
“I wanted you too. I’m sorry it took me this long to do anything about it.
When you stopped coming by the house and your parents started showing up without you, I knew it was because I really hurt you, so I thought it would be better for me to stay away.
I hoped if I gave you enough space one day you’d come back to us, to the family, and I would tell you then what I know now. ”
“What do you know now?” Win asked.
Ben smiled, and Win’s breath caught as he brushed his thumb across her cheek.
“I love you,” he said. “I think I maybe always have.”
The air trapped in Win’s throat released, and she almost sagged into him as she said, “I love you too.”
Her words were barely out before Ben lowered his mouth to hers.
There was nothing gentle about this kiss.
It was as if Ben had been holding himself back, perhaps for a year, and now he fully let himself go.
Ben’s hand moved to her hair, holding the back of her neck and pulling her closer.
He took Win’s mouth like he owned it, and she opened for him.
Ben pulled at Win’s hips, and she was grateful for the short dress, which let her straddle him, her knees on either side of him on the bench. Her hands went to Ben’s shirt, undoing the buttons while he kissed a trail down to her collarbone and then to the tops of her breasts.
“May I?” he asked, a hand on one of the straps of her dress.
“Please,” she begged.
Ben smiled a wicked grin she’d never seen on him before.
It thrilled her, and she realized she was wrong.
She did not know everything about him. She didn’t know Ben as a lover.
She was so excited to meet this version of him.
He slid one strap down, then the other. He brushed his mouth over her bare shoulder and Win shivered.
Win, impatient, reached behind her for the zipper of her corset, but Ben moved her hands away.
“I got it,” Ben said as he pulled the zipper down slowly.
Ben tugged at the dress and groaned as he took in her bare breasts.
Win gasped as Ben’s mouth made contact with her nipple, his tongue swirling around it.
Win gripped Ben’s shoulders as he moved to her other breast, the sensation enough to make her come.
Without thinking, she began to grind against him, his dick hard enough that she could feel it pressing against her middle through his pants.
“Win, fuck,” he said.
He held her hips, staying her, and she whimpered.
Win had a sense of déjà vu as she reached for his buckle, but this time Ben didn’t stop her. It was so incredibly risky doing this here where anyone could come down the stairs at any moment, but Win was finding it difficult to care.
Ben shifted and helped her tug down his pants and boxers until his dick was free.
With his eyes on her, Win spit in her hand before grabbing hold of his shaft and stroking.
Ben’s eyes shuttered closed and his head fell back as a soft moan escaped him.
She was grateful for the heavy bass of the music upstairs so they didn’t have to worry about being quiet.
“Have you been tested recently?” Win asked as her hand continued to move. “I have. I’m good.”
“I’m good too,” Ben said, pushing the words out through heavy breaths. Win rubbed a thumb over his tip, catching the precum and bringing it down his shaft.
“I need to be inside you, Win,” Ben said, grabbing her wrist. “Or we’re both going to be a mess.”
Win was sure they already were. She could see her lipstick all over his mouth and his shirt was half undone, while her tits were on full display.
She lifted her hips, reaching under the fabric of her dress, pulling her panties aside to guide Ben inside her.
Win lowered herself, and they both hissed as she took him deeper.
They stayed like that for a moment, Win adjusting to the feel of him.
He was thick, stretching her in a way that was slightly uncomfortable but also felt so good.
He cursed as she started slowly grinding her hips as she rode him.
Ben’s hands were in her hair again and he tugged her down to kiss her as they moved together.
Win wasn’t sure she’d ever felt this good before, and soon she was moving quicker, holding on to Ben’s shoulders as her steady rhythm became almost frantic.
“Fuck yes. Win, shit,” Ben said.
He was so close, she could feel it, and so was she. Reaching under her dress, Win pressed three fingers to her clit, the pressure exactly what she needed.
“Ben, fuck, I’m—”
Win lost all control of her speech as the orgasm ran through her like lightning. Ben gripped her hips tightly, holding her on top of him as he came inside her a moment later with a deep moan.
They were both breathing heavily, taking in this moment together that felt unreal but so right.
Finally, Win knew they had to separate before someone came looking for them.
Reluctantly, Win pushed herself up and off Ben, standing between his legs.
She felt a bit wobbly and sore, so she knew she’d feel it even more tomorrow, which was perfectly fine to her.
She’d relish the reminder of being thoroughly fucked by Benjamin Jackson, something she’d convinced herself would never happen.
“You okay?” Ben asked, looking up at her, taking her in.
“Yeah,” she said while fixing her dress. “You?” She turned around so he could zip up her dress.