9. Christopher - The Navy Seal
Chapter nine
Christopher - The Navy Seal
I hadn’t heard from Edie and every time I tried to call I got a recording that the phone had been disconnected. I needed to make the fifteen-mile drive to check on her but with my job, my new baby, the bad weather, and running a household, I put it on the back burner even though I was concerned.
Edie was living on borrowed time. She had no money but she had prepared during the summer so they had canned goods to sustain them throughout the winter. She held her breath every morning; she knew their propane tank for heat was getting near empty though she had kept the temperature as cool as the girls could tolerate to conserve. The previous spring a farmer had given her three piglets that were not likely to survive but she cared for them, nourished them, and thought of them as an insurance policy.
There was a Carnation Milk Plant a few miles away and a huge batch of Carnation Slender had overheated and curdled so it was unsellable but there was nothing wrong with it. Edie’s dad heard they were giving it away so he and a couple of friends loaded up their pickups and brought thirty palettes of it to Edie. Who knew she could take some corn she had gleaned from the nearby fields and mix it with Carnation Slender and grow fat and happy pigs? Now that they were near market size, she could sell them to buy fuel if she had to.
Two weeks after Sean left them, the moment of dread and reality hit like a rogue wave. As her feet touched the icy floor there was no doubt the fuel tank was empty. It wouldn’t take long for pipes and bodies to freeze. She panicked but knew she had to keep her head as she tied the rope around her waist and made her way through the ten-foot-high tunnel of snow to feed the pigs. Pumping fresh water by hand, she began chopping the ice in their water trough with her axe. The harder she chopped, the more desperate she became. She threw her head back and screamed. “God, please help me. If you hear me, help me!” Tears stung her cheeks as they froze to her skin but she continued to wield her axe determined to survive.
Suddenly, through wails and sobs, a hand touched her shoulder. She swung around, axe held high, to see a handsome stranger. Shocked, a flash of scenarios went through her head. Maybe God sent an angel, maybe she was hallucinating, maybe he was her new mailman. He held his hands high in complete submission and with a cautionary smile introduced himself. Clearing his throat he said, “Hi, I’m Christopher.” Confused she wondered if he was Saint Christopher but she knew nothing of saints. She shook her head in disbelief. Words wouldn’t form in her mouth.
“Let me explain,” he continued. “My family just moved here and I recently finished my tour in the Navy so I’ve rented that small trailer across the road as a stopping-off place.” Questions invaded her brain but nothing made sense. “I’ve seen you out here the last few days and when I went to collect the mail, I heard you crying. What can I do to help?”
Without a thought, she threw her arms around him as she would a life ring in a raging ocean, and held on for their survival. He gently patted her back seemingly uncomfortable and finally, some sense returned to her as she released her hold on him. She was embarrassed and knew she looked ridiculously desperate. She didn’t know if God answered her prayer but if he did, wow. God had good taste. She couldn’t have gotten luckier. That moment is permanently etched on her heart; the day he saved them and became the hero she had always needed. He arranged transport for the pigs to market so she knew she had enough funds to keep them warm until spring.
After these many years, she continues to remember his beauty. His 6’1” height and perfectly toned body were a sight to behold. Black shiny hair, smooth clean face, and eyes that looked like pools of liquid aquamarine. Not only was he beautiful to look at but he was soft-spoken and gentle. He smelled delicious like fresh rain on new-mown grass. He had been a Navy Seal for six years and his acquired skills could come in handy in the future.
His attentiveness to her little girls was how she wished their father had been. They slowly became acquainted and he was willing to help with anything around the farm. It began by inviting him in for a morning cup of coffee before he headed off to his job as a personal trainer and handball coach. He held the national title for the handball championship in his class. She woke up early every morning in anticipation of his visit. It was the highlight of her day.
After a few weeks, she realized she didn’t care if Sean came back. She was happy; that was a word that hadn’t been in her vocabulary for many years. Of course, she would dream of Christopher, and fantasize what loving him might be like, even though she knew making love to him would be a sin. She wasn’t sure she knew what lovemaking was since she’d only been with Sean for his pleasure, certainly not hers. Christopher had never made any suggestive moves toward her but she had hopes he may have thoughts of more than friendship and she was ready to find out.
A woman has an instinct about these things. She carefully planned her strategy; what was the worst that could happen? Lighting an inferno of molten lava that may be consuming? Just something simple like that. Her intuition didn’t tell her that what she was planning would carry consequences she would deal with for the rest of her life. Her mind was made up; she was going all in.
The morning sun shone brightly over the horizon; the coffee was perking. She welcomed Christopher in as usual and served them warm cinnamon rolls. As he stood to leave for work, her voice cracked and she hoped he didn’t detect her nervousness. “Chris, I wondered if you’d like to join us for dinner tonight.”
“Really?” he asked. “It’s about time since you’re always bragging about what a good cook you are,” he grinned. “Would eight o’clock be okay?”
“That’s perfect, bring your appetite.”
She didn’t know how he felt but her appetite was for a big chunk of Chris and she could only hope he was hungry for her. She put new batteries in her transistor radio, found old candles, and placed them around the kitchen. Setting the table with simple white dishes on placemats she had sewed, she chilled a fragrant bottle of peach wine she had made at the end of summer. She needed some liquid encouragement. The girls were happy to hear their favorite bedtime story after their meal and snuggled comfortably in their beds.
Edie showered and spent some extra time softening her skin and allowed her hair to fall around her shoulders in its natural curl. She selected one of the few dresses she had. It looked fresh like spring with tiny pale blue flowers with sprigs of green and displayed a tiny bit of cleavage. This was a departure from the blue jeans she usually wore and somehow, she felt pretty, sexy, and feminine.
The roasting chicken and vegetables gave off an amazing homey fragrance but she secretly hoped the menu du jour didn’t include chicken. She dimmed the lights, lit the candles, and turned the soft music low when she saw headlights coming down the long stretch of gravel road toward her farmhouse. She paced and wrung her hands nervously. This was the moment of truth. One way or the other, she would know how he felt.
Peeking through the white cottage curtains, her heart raced as he got closer. She opened the door and looked into his gentle face taking in his delicious fragrance. Stepping in, he looked down at her with soft moist eyes and dropped his jacket to the floor without a word being spoken. As he wrapped his strong arms around her, he whispered, “Edie, I’ve loved you since that first day.” His lips covered hers in a kiss she can still taste and will never forget. She grasped his large hand and silently led him to her bed.
She had never experienced physical contact like that. It went beyond what she imagined and touched her so deeply, that she wanted to lie in his arms forever and never forget the warmth and security of his love. Sex, as she knew it for six years had been torture, only a duty as Sean’s wife. Chris’s tenderness was overwhelming and she could finally understand why women raved about sex. He kissed her face as he brushed her damp hair back. Whispering, he repeated her name over and over. “This is love, Edie, the real thing. I’ve never felt this way.” He stood and reached into the pocket of his jeans on the floor and pulled out a small velvet box. Inside was a gold heart-shaped locket with a picture of Edie on one side and him on the other. Engraved on the back were their initials, C She allows herself to love. Each person she loved is unique so the love that grows is unique. Love can be damaged and strangled, and love can die, but love can also be cultivated and bloom into something we could have never imagined could be so fulfilling and lovely. She was in love with Christopher. The only greater love she had ever experienced was the love for her two little girls.
She knew this couldn’t last. Being this happy, this deeply in love, this content, was a dream. She was used to disappointment but the thought of losing Christopher ate away at her like a worm in an apple. He was not the problem; she knew Christopher wouldn’t leave them but she had that edgy feeling Sean would be back someday. There were negative forces that haunted and followed her like a black cloud. She attempted to be positive but she was more positive that the sky would eventually fall and her world would come crashing down.
The guilt of her infidelity weighed heavily though Sean, it seemed, didn’t care if they lived or died. As far as she knew, it was a rule of God; there was a consequence to pay for our sins. One night, with Edie’s girls on Christopher’s lap listening to an intriguing story he read to them creating all the different character voices, a flash outside the window caught his eye. He put the girls down and ran to the door to see that the bales of straw that were piled around the foundation acting as insulation were on fire. The neighbor next door saw the flames and called the fire department and Christopher began pumping water by hand from the well to attempt to put out the fire. The fire chief confirmed that an accelerant had been used to start the fire. Someone had deliberately tried to burn the house down with them inside. Their best guess was that Sean was back and wasted no time making his intent known.
A few nights later terror in the flesh burst through the kitchen door in black leather biker clothes wielding a heavy chain aimed at Christopher. “You mother-fucker, what are you doing with my wife and kids?” Sean screamed.
The story is long, hideous, and complicated, the heartbreak too agonizing to repeat. The memory of the pain they all suffered was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. She was accustomed to cowering to his demands and cruelty. Fighting back was useless; passiveness was the rule she vowed to keep to avoid disturbing the sleeping monster she was destined to share her life with, hoping her decision to stay with Sean would be protection enough for her babies. She only existed because she promised Sean she would stay because of her sin with Christopher.
Going through the motions, smiling on cue if one of her neighbors stopped by for coffee, and reminding herself to breathe was the only luxury she afforded herself. She continued to analyze why it’s important to put on paper. This is about need, love, repentance, and trying to do the right thing, no matter the pain. Somehow it was difficult to blame Sean as she pointed the finger back at herself. Sean’s threats, and fear like she’d never known, made her decision to move away with Sean to Chicago and start anew. It was the only choice she had or someone would die; the smell of death was in her nostrils. And just like that she had to let go and Christopher was gone.