Chapter Twelve
Bryce
Me
I miss you too
He texted me hours ago and I couldn’t make myself tell him what I really want to—what I need to.
I shouldn’t have waited this long, but would he still be here if I hadn’t?
Telling anyone just leaves me open for what Josh did to me.
I swore I wouldn’t do it again. He was the test before I told Bodie, and he failed miserably.
Things are different now with Bodie, though.
I need to get it off my chest—then maybe sleep wouldn’t be such a problem.
I shouldn’t have to rely on Bodie to sleep, even though I’ve never slept better than I have this past month.
Talking to my mom usually helps when I need someone, but even she doesn’t know.
What would she think? I saw what she went through after Dad died—her depression lasted almost three years.
If it wasn’t for Dad’s life insurance, we probably would have been homeless because she couldn’t work half the time.
Mrs. Foster was there for her and eventually convinced her to get some help.
How could I ever tell her what happened that night?
“Bryce, baby. What are you doing out here?” Of course she saw me sitting in the car and came outside to get me.
She’s wearing her favorite apron with a heart and her initials on it—their initials—DC.
My dad bought it for her just before he died.
She rarely wears it, which means she’s thinking of him a lot today.
“You scared me, Ma.”
“Then stop making me come out here, and get your butt inside.” Even when I’m not feeling so great, she still manages to make me laugh.
I walk into the house and smell her pot roast cooking—it reminds me of my favorite meal as a kid. The nostalgia also has me thinking about Bodie, because he would ask her to make it at least once a week.
“You going to stay for dinner? Should we call Bodie over too?”
“Nah. He’s got a game tonight. He’s probably at the Coliseum already.”
“I’ll just send some home with you, then, so he has a good meal when he gets home. I’m sure he’ll be hungry.”
My mouth opens and closes a few times before I can get out, “Ma, can we talk for a minute?”
“Yeah, honey. Is something wrong? Did you—”
“Don’t spiral, Ma. Everything is fine.” A white lie. “Did you know I have sleep issues?”
“Now, or when you were a kid?”
“Does it matter? Both.”
“I think I remember in middle school you had some trouble, but I thought it went away when I didn’t catch you playing video games so much in the middle of the night anymore.”
She’s right about not catching me, but only because she got me a cell phone in eighth grade, and I was able to keep myself occupied without her knowing.
“Before then, you didn’t notice?”
“Bryce, what is this about?”
My heart wants to tell her, to drop the weight I’ve borne for so long, but I can’t. No one knows what rehashing those memories for her would do—add on my confession, and I could send her back into the depths of her mind. I can’t bear the thought of doing that to her again.
“Nothing, Ma. Just having some trouble sleeping and trying to figure out how far back it goes.” I hate this. “No big deal. Just thought I’d ask.”
She pats my cheek like she used to do to my dad when he said something sweet to her.
Their relationship was one I’ve always aspired to have.
The playfulness, the love in their eyes just looking at each other from across the room.
It was beautiful to watch even at such a young age.
Which makes it all the worse what I did—and what I took from her.
I wait for him in his bed for a change, only if to make sure he’s lying next to me. If I did happen to fall asleep, I know he wouldn’t want to wake me and would rather let me be alone. He doesn’t know those moments of sleep don’t last nearly long enough.
The dreams aren’t drawn out, but they always come, and it only takes one glimpse to bring me back there. It haunts me even in my waking state, but at least I can control it then and distract myself.
The apartment door opens, and I’ve never been more thankful for his perfect timing. I’m sure he’ll be in a good mood since they won the game tonight.
“Hey, Oz.”
“What?” Confusion sets in, and it must show from the smile on his face.
“You’re my Emerald City, remember?” His palms cradle my jaw as he gently rubs a thumb over my eyelid and plants a kiss on me.
His words echo in my head, and my cheeks bunch beneath his hands. “C’mere.” I pull him down to the bed, still clothed and smiling.
“You won tonight.”
“I did.” He sounds full of energy from the game still, and there’s a playful undercurrent in his tone.
“Congratulations.” I kiss him as he lies on top of me.
“I think I deserve more than a congratulations, Oz.”
The heat in his tone sends a shudder down the length of my body, and then he’s straddling my hips as he pulls his shirt over his head.
His tongue is hot and insistent as it clashes with my own, and he grinds the growing bulge in his jeans against me as I fumble with his belt buckle.
His hands grip the waistband of my boxers, sliding them down my legs, his eyes darkening as they settle on my aching erection.
No sooner are my boxers gone than he’s stripping the rest of my clothes off.
Finally, he tugs down his jeans, and I pull in a breath at the sight of his hard cock straining against his jockstrap.
Fuck me, that’s hot.
“Bode, why are you still in your jock?”
“I forgot to put underwear in my bag, so I grabbed an extra jockstrap from the equipment team after my shower.” He grins, looking less embarrassed and more excited about me admiring his cock all wrapped up like a gift basket for me while I palm his ass, squeezing his firm bubble butt.
“You like it?” He twists a little, and I get a good look at his bare ass.
“You have no idea how much I like this.”
“Yeah. I did good?” he says, lying down on my chest and grinding against my thigh.
“Yeah. The only thing hotter is if it had a little lace on it.”
Bodie’s eyes look like they may pop out of his head. “You’d like that?” I nod emphatically as I watch his Adam’s apple rise and fall. “Will you fuck me now?”
I give him a few seconds to retract his sudden request, though I’m hoping he doesn’t. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’m ready.” There’s no mistaking the confidence in his voice.
Not even a second later, his mouth is all over me, licking and sucking from my ears to my shoulders, leaving a bite mark or two before he rolls us over, me on top of him when he’s done.
“You have to, uh, get me ready. Right?” he says as he spreads his legs wide and brings them to his sides.
I lean back on my heels and stare at his entrance on display for me.
“Fuck, Bode.”
I spread him wider to get a better look at his pretty pink hole—I don’t think I’ve ever seen one quite as alluring as his. I run circles around his hole with my thumb, massaging it until he relaxes the slightest bit. “I won’t hurt you.”
“I know,” he says when our gazes rest on each other, and he smiles softly. God, I love this man.
I reach for the lube on my nightstand, and the pop of the cap grabs Bodie’s attention.
“Is that flavored lube?” Bodie notices the color of the bottle as I squirt some on my fingers.
“Guess you never tasted regular lube before, huh?” From the look on his face, that’s a no. “Trust me, you want it flavored if it goes anywhere near your mouth.”
His eyes go wide as my words register.
Spreading some lube around his rim and pushing in again, I feel him relax into it.
I slowly pump into him, circling inside to stretch him, then switch my thumb out for two fingers.
When I begin to scissor them, Bodie’s breaths quicken, moans filling the space between each one.
I bring my tongue to his rim then and push inside him, joining my fingers as the cherry flavor hits my taste buds.
I grab his thickened cock through the bottom of his jock, needing this to be good for him.
“Ahh, fuck, Bryce.” I thought Bodie pleasuring himself in the past was hot, but it’s nothing compared to the sounds coming out of him as I stroke him while fucking into his ass with my tongue. “Uunnnghhh, yes. Please.”
My dick is leaking all over us, and I can’t take this anymore. I remove my fingers and grab a condom from the nightstand. “I need you to ride me.”
His brows come together, as if he can’t stand to be empty. I roll the condom over my hardened cock and slick it up with lube, swiping his hole with the excess before motioning for him to straddle me on the edge of the bed.
“Do you want to take this off?” I tug the strap of his jock.
He shakes his head. “It might stop me from coming too fast if I keep it on. Hard to come when it’s trapped in a cage.” He chuckles.
“Okay. You ready?” I ask softly, gauging his reaction as I guide my cock to his hole.
“Yeah, go ahead.” His breathless consent melts my insides, making me want to savor every moment with this man.
“Okay. Go slow, at your own pace. You’re in control here.”
He plants his lips on mine as he lowers himself onto my cock just an inch, causing him to gasp into my mouth as the head pushes into him. “Fuck, you’re too big.”
“Stop if you need to.” I go to pull out of him, but he stills me.
“No. Just a sec,” he says, resting his head on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around him, massaging where my hands land on his sides. “Okay.” He begins lowering himself again. Rising and falling, grunting on his descent with every inch deeper he goes.
“Fuck, Bode. You feel fucking incredible.” His warm, tight hole is sucking in my cock so well, making me want more and more every second I’m inside him.
He rests his head on my shoulder again once he’s fully seated on me. “Hold on. Need a minute”
Maintaining my composure while Bodie adjusts is taking all of me, but I keep massaging his body to distract myself from how good this feels. He’s taking deep breaths, whimpering on each inhale.
“Babe, are you okay? If it hurts—”
“I don’t know if I can move right now. Just—ssshhh.”
Weaving my fingers through his curls, I bring his face to mine, pressing my lips to his until he opens for me.
Continuing to massage him with one hand, I keep his mouth firm against mine while I take his attention off where my cock is inside him, to us—our connection on all levels.
I hope he feels the love I have for him with every touch and brush of my tongue over his.
He surprises me by moving, rising to test how it feels.
His moan against my lips says all it needs to.
Leaning back with my palms on the bed when he releases my lips, I let him control everything about this until he’s ready.
In the dimly lit room, he’s stunning, and I admire every curve of his muscles, the sharpness of his jaw, and those eyes that could stop anyone in their tracks.
His fingers track the tattoos on my stomach as he starts to grind on me, his own swollen cock leaking into his jock.
“Fuck, you look so beautiful riding me.”
Bodie pauses, sucking his lower lip in before raising himself and dropping back down, hard, onto my cock.
“Fuccckkk,” we groan in unison.
I don’t know if I’ll survive the night if it feels this good already.