Chapter Eighteen Choosing a Venue
On a crisp morning with frost on fallen leaves the three of them gathered outside the crypt at St Etheldreda’s, Holborn.
Meeting Luis for the first time, Jasper shook his hand, taking measure of the groom-to-be and assessing the pair as a couple.
Though he didn’t say a word, Danny blushed, conscious that their love story was being evaluated.
He couldn’t help but feel that they came up short.
He couldn’t say why. After pleasantries were exchanged, Jasper declared, ‘I’ve never planned a marriage where the couple have been together for so long.
When the two of you met no gay person anywhere in the world was allowed to marry.
No civil partnerships, no marriage, nothing.
You’re a bridge from one era to another. ’
Luis wryly observed, ‘How about we marry on a bridge?’
Jasper took the suggestion seriously.
‘The only one worth marrying on would be Tower Bridge. It might be possible. Up on the walkways between the two towers with the sun setting over the Thames. How does that sound?’
Danny put a hand on Jasper’s shoulder.
‘He was joking.’
Jasper was amazed.
‘Luis, why so deadpan? Give me a little clue. A wink, a nudge.’
Despite living in London for much of his life Danny had never heard of the crypt at St Etheldreda’s before.
It was over six hundred years old, Jasper explained, a historical site popular with school visits while supplementing its income by hosting private events such as mock medieval banquets with wenches and cheeky lute players where guests feasted on roast boar and drank tankards of mead.
For medieval-themed weddings, some grooms and brides dressed up as kings and queens.
Each to their own, Jasper pointed out, establishing himself as a defender of weddings in all their shapes and forms.
As they walked in Luis expressed his confusion at the urgency of needing to find a venue so soon when summer was eight months away.
Jasper explained, ‘We’re not early. We’re late.
Many venues are reserved over a year in advance.
Remember, everyone wants the weekend slots and there are only fifteen weekends in the summer.
It’s the reason that more weddings are scheduled in the autumn and winter.
Too many people chasing too few places.’
Luis accepted this reasoning but remarked, ‘We don’t have our hearts set on any prestigious locations.’
Jasper widened his eyes.
‘I’m glad you feel that way because the famous places are already booked. Today we’re viewing more unusual places. But if I may be so bold – there’s unusual and there’s the bottom of the barrel, so let’s be deliberately unusual rather than merely late and last.’
At the musty crypt doors, Jasper stopped, raising his hands like an elegant traffic officer.
‘Before we begin, please remember that I have nothing at stake in your decision except your happiness. I work for you. I don’t take kickbacks.
I’m happy to show you any location. That said, there is a luxury hotel chain owned by a foreign royal family in a country where they execute people for being gay and those ballrooms I won’t show.
A puny act of protest some might say, but what kind of Red Jacket would I be without a few red lines. ’
Danny asked, ‘Do many couples want those venues?’
Jasper lamented, ‘They’re spectacular spaces in storied hotels. Many couples are looking for validation that their marriage is special. I’ve lost business because of it. But it’s not much of a protest if it doesn’t cost you anything.’
He presented them with a pamphlet.
‘My associate put together these fact sheets on our venues today. Quick question. Do either of you mind marrying at the site of troubling historical events? Executions, torture, betrayals, murders – that sort of thing.’
Danny pointed out, ‘It’s not particularly romantic.’
Jasper sighed. ‘That’s so often the problem with history.’
Exploring the crypt Danny touched the sloping stone walls that were once palace foundations, his eyes following the colossal timber beams supporting the stone ceiling. Jasper asked, ‘Can you imagine your wedding in the same place that Henry VIII celebrated his marriage with Catherine of Aragon?’
Luis rebutted, ‘Didn’t that marriage end in divorce? And schism from the Catholic church?’
Danny observed, ‘Luis is Catholic. Being gay was his break from the Church.’
Surprising everyone, the comment provoked a heartfelt response from Luis who up until this moment had been largely silent.
‘I admit that it is hard for me to imagine a wedding that doesn’t take place in a church.
When I was growing up everyone married in the church where they lived.
Afterwards we celebrated in a local restaurant.
There wasn’t a long list of eccentric locations to choose from.
What am I supposed to think about this place? ’
Recognizing the importance of the admission Danny asked, ‘What do you think?’
Luis addressed him directly.
‘We have no connection to this place. It means nothing to me. It means nothing to you. Are we supposed to study the history behind each venue, grasping at some kind of link?’
Hurt, Danny said, ‘Luis? We can’t get married in a church.’
Breaking the silence Jasper said, ‘A cathedral in Cádiz is beyond even my powers I’m afraid.
And yes, we’re trying to find meaning and personality in one of these locations so that it feels connected to the two of you.
That’s the best we can do. That is our burden.
We must make our own meaning. Forge our own connections.
There is another way to look at this crypt – it was the location of a royal union between England and Spain. ’
Luis shrugged at the well-intentioned parallels.
‘It’s just so random and rootless.’
Danny wondered if anywhere could match up to the image Luis held in his heart – a simple Spanish church with a traditional dinner afterwards.
When he’d asked Luis to try Jasper’s test, to close his eyes and picture the big day – the unobtainable scene of a Spanish church must have come to mind.
He had refused to say it aloud until now. This wedding didn’t feel real to Luis.
Jasper asked, ‘Gentlemen, I hate to hurry you, but we’re on the clock. Are we getting married in a crypt or not?’
To avoid Luis being the one to say no, Danny answered for them: ‘I don’t like basements.’
Luis turned to him.
‘I’ve never heard you claim that before.’
Danny replied, ‘Because we live on the top floor. And we’ve never moved.’
Jasper pretended to be pleased at their progress.
‘There we have it. Hallelujah. Finally a preference, no basements, no crypts, no subterranean caves or nuclear bunkers. To arrive at this wedding guests must ascend a flight of stairs.’
As Jasper directed them out of the first venue he added, ‘We’re learning so much about each other. Isn’t that what weddings are for?’
Jasper had intended it to sound witty but in this instance it sounded true.