Chapter Twelve
Four days later, Luis tested his levels and they were high.
He sighed, lying on his bed and grabbed his phone. He opened up a text to Julien and stared at the screen.
Should he just use the needle? It had worked for years. It was uncomplicated and reliable.
Just thinking about it made the crooks of his arms ache. Luis groaned and turned over to bury his face in his pillow.
Karim had bitten him, and now he wanted to know what it would be like if Julien did it. Julien, who’d yet to even drink his blood in front of him. Who was so, so careful about boundaries and propriety.
What would it be like to have Julien’s steady hands on him? To have his voice right in Luis’s ear murmuring for him to relax, that everything was going to be okay.
His feelings were tangled strings. Fear, desire, excitement, dread. He felt like he could pluck each one and hear their notes.
He wanted this and also dreaded taking another step forward. He already felt too much when it came to the two of them, and to let Julien bite him would be to invite more. To let himself be further compromised.
It was stupid to like them so much. None of it could end well, they were married.
But non-exclusively married.
Luis rolled back over.
He’d spent his twenties not taking chances, playing it safe.
As a result, his life had become small and boring and empty.
Nothing happened to him in his twenties, for good or for bad.
Moving out and signing up to work for vampires had shaken his life up.
It had led to the bad thing that had happened with that guy at the bar, but it had also led to two new friendships he was desperate now not to lose.
So, the question really was, what did Luis want: small and safe, or the big, scary risk?
Luis picked up his phone, and sent the text.
##
“You’re going to let Julien bite you?” Karim asked the second he dropped Luis’s plate in front of him on Friday.
“Karim,” Julien said warningly.
But Luis had spent days tying himself into knots and working them free, and now he was mostly calm about the choice he’d made. “If Julien’s still okay with it,” he said.
“Oh, he is,” Karim said with a smirk. He took his seat, eyes heavy on Luis, and Luis tried not to look at his stupidly attractive face.
“The last time healed so much better than when I stick myself,” Luis said, trying for pure logic.
“I’m glad,” Julien said. His fingers slid around to trace the bottom of his wine glass. “Neither of us want you to suffer needlessly. If this is easier and more comfortable, we’re happy to help.”
Karim snorted. “Luis, please tell him that you’re good with your choice. He’s been fretting about it all week.”
Julien, for once, looked caught out, eyes widening before he shot Karim a look that Luis was beginning to understand meant, sweetheart, shut your mouth.
“I really am sure,” Luis said with all the confidence he could muster. “I wouldn’t have texted you if I wasn’t. I want to try, at least.”
“Alright,” Julien said, inclining his head. Then he picked up his fork. “Let’s eat then. Karim, it looks wonderful as always.”
“It does,” Luis agreed.
He could still feel Karim’s attention, but Luis set it aside and picked up his fork. Tonight’s dish was some sort of red sauce curry. He took a bite, and it practically melted on his tongue. Luis hummed in pleasure and allowed himself one glance up at Karim.
Karim’s fangs were just barely visible in the tilt of his mouth. He looked hungry.
“So, uh,” Luis swallowed and forced his eyes to somewhere safer–Julien. “What’s it feel like, biting someone?”
Julien’s head tilted just slightly, like he was weighing the question.
“These days it’s a very pleasant experience, actually,” Julien said with a small smile.
“The bars lack, perhaps, the intimacy of a… personal encounter, but there’s something to be said about the availability and straightforward consent with the donor program.
It’s nice not to have to think about where the next meal is coming from, or how to negotiate one without scaring or traumatizing someone. ”
Luis knew a small amount of vampire history, and prior to the coming out, getting a meal was a lot less… civil. He tried to imagine Julien doing anything like that, and failed.
“You said when you and Karim met, you had made a deal with a doctor?”
Julien nodded. “It was usually how I got along. We’re strong, fast, hard to kill in some ways. If you found someone reasonable, a trade could be made.”
“You didn’t answer his question,” Karim interjected. They both turned to him and he shrugged. “Luis asked what it feels like.”
Luis had asked that, but the emphasis on the words made him flush.
“Oh, I suppose you’re right,” Julien said. His expression grew thoughtful. “It feels… good. Blood is… sweet. Rich. There are different flavors depending on chemical makeup. It doesn’t taste how it tasted when I was human, there’s a pleasure to it.”
His words were wandering, like a caress across the back of Luis’s neck.
“With the right person, it’s better than the best meal you’ve ever eaten as a human,” Karim said, tone low, almost seductive.
Luis’s lashes fluttered. “Oh,” he said.
“True,” Julien agreed. He was fingering his wine glass again, but his eyes were roving over Luis. “With the right person.”
##
In the living room after dinner, Luis took his usual seat, but for once Julien joined him on the couch. Karim was on cleanup today, so he was still in the kitchen.
“You can still change your mind,” Julien reminded him. “Now, or at any point in the future. Don’t let Karim bully you.”
Luis nodded. “I know. And he doesn’t, not really. He’s all bark and no bite.”
Julien smiled. “It’s nice you and Karim get along so well. He deserves to have more friends. More people that get him.”
Luis nodded. “I know how it is, trying to make friends and just… not connecting. I don’t really have any other friends except Cassie. I mean, and now you two.” He hoped that wasn’t being presumptuous.
“I’ve… also lacked for friends,” Julien admitted.
“We moved here and I was so focused on the house and the business. Admittedly, because of Karim I haven’t much tried to meet new people.
He’s the most precious thing to me, and I never want to put him in dangerous or in uncomfortable situations.
But maybe that’s on me, using him as an excuse not to put myself out there either. ”
Luis could relate to the sentiment.
“It’s okay,” Luis said. “We’ve both made new friends now, right?”
Julien’s head dipped and he smiled. “We have.” Julien reached and took his hand.
Luis’s pulse spiked. “But Karim is right, I’ve been treating you like glass.
Maybe I should try a little more trust. A bit more belief that you can speak for yourself if and when you need to.
That’s what a friendship is, right? Equals. ”
His hand was so much bigger than Luis’s. “Yeah,” Luis said. “I’m not glass, I’m not going to break if like, you mess up somehow.”
Julien inclined his head. “Karim is always telling me it’s my worst trait, how I worry us both into stagnation.”
God, Luis could relate. “Same. I mean, answering your job ad was kind of my way of trying something new, forcing myself out of my safe zone.”
“And how glad I am that you did,” Julien said with obvious happiness. “How glad I am that Karim talked me into it.”
“It was Karim’s idea?” Luis asked.
“Yes. We used to take rideshares.Karim thought we could trial run being sociable again by hiring a regular to come with us on nights out. Someone we could get to know, that we’d maintain at least a working relationship with.”
“So, you didn’t hire me for my defensive capabilities?” Luis joked.
Julien chuckled. “No, admittedly we were going for a personality hire.”
“But why me?” It was a question Luis had wanted to know for over a year now, but never had the courage to ask.
Julien tilted his head thoughtfully, squeezed his hand. “Oh, that was an easy choice. Do you remember one of the first things you said to me when I interviewed you?” Julien asked.
Luis tried to think back to the interview, but all he remembered was the anxiety.
The fear he’d had sitting in front of two vampires for the first time.
He hadn’t ever interacted with a vampire prior to that, and he’d been trying to be brave while also terrified because he had no idea what vampires were like or if he’d offend them accidentally.
He remembered leaving the interview with the feeling that he’d made a disaster of it.
“No, I don’t,” Luis said.
“I asked you if you had any experience as a chauffeur,” Julien said.
“You said you didn’t, but for a year you’d walked your friend home from work every day so she didn’t have to walk alone in the dark.
You admitted that you weren’t strong, weren’t a trained fighter, but you’d have done whatever it took to protect her if something had happened.
You said you’d do the same in this position. ”
Luis didn’t remember that, or at least not something as elegantly put as that. But the story was true, he had walked to the grocery every night when Cassie got off so he could walk her home.
“We did quite a few interviews, but I kept coming back to your answer,” Julien said.
He looked lost in the memory. Luis couldn’t look away from his face.
“How passionately you spoke about Cassie. I could tell you were nervous, but you clearly wanted the job. I don’t know.
You had this earnestness about you. I knew we needed someone Karim could learn to trust; someone I could relinquish some control to.
Someone who wouldn’t try to sell us out, or put us in danger. ”
“I would never,” Luis said seriously.
“I know. You’ve never faltered,” Julien said softly.
“I really thought I bombed that interview,” Luis said. “I remember getting into an argument with Karim.”