CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR #2
Unfortunately for Elizabeth, she found that whilst her host and hostess made every disposition for her comfort, rest of the body was not mirrored by rest of the mind.
She told herself that this was because the only person she could think of as a companion at Dowlands was an elderly cousin of her mama’s, and one with whom she had nothing in common, for Cousin Jane’s ‘nerves’ made her a permanent semi-invalid and she considered even going out to church an expedition.
The alternative, and it was unpalatable, was returning to live several more years at Marden, and, with Amelia married, the far younger company of her cousin Anne.
Like it or not, she knew her aunt felt her 318spinsterhood as a blemish, and for all her kind affection, would never cease to bemoan it.
She had gone to London reluctantly, thinking that life at Marden would suffice her until she was able to live alone, forgetting how it would be without Amelia’s companionship, and London had ruined everything.
The truth was that even the anticipation of life at Dowlands now seemed a pale limbo.
She had thought herself safe, but then one man had breached her security, robbed her of her equilibrium.
She never wanted to see him again, for if she gave in, he would break her heart.
That her heart whimpered that it was broken already just showed how weak a heart could be.
She wandered Thornby Park like some unsettled ghost, and though her hand began to heal and the pain died away, she had little appetite for either food or activity.
Riding was not feasible until such time as her hand could bear the pull of a rein upon it, and Lady Godmanchester’s walks were, given her natural tiredness, mere ambles within the grounds.
Elizabeth even found the Godmanchesters’ connubial contentment hard to bear.
The sight of them exchanging looks where the other need not speak brought home her isolation to her.
She told herself that Helen had achieved a miracle, and found a true and honest man.
Lucius Radstock was not as worthy, since he had already shown his false colours.
For every moment that the thought of him crept into her mind, and the dream of what it would be like to share her life with him, there was the counter, the numbing reality of that moment when the world fell apart, and there was nothing but the abyss.
She had faced it twice, 319the more fool she, and she was not to be duped again.
Her heart had told her to trust, and where had that got her?
If her heart yearned now for the tall figure with the beguiling eyes, her head told her that from a third betrayal there was no returning.
For the first week, Lord Godmanchester studiously avoided any mention of his friend in conversation when Elizabeth was present. It was remarkably difficult, since he and Sir Lucius were planning on going to Newmarket for the races in a few weeks’ time, and besides, so many things involved him.
‘I nearly ruined everything over dinner,’ he bemoaned, as he sat in his wife’s bedchamber, while her maid laid the final touches to her bedtime toilette.
With a word of thanks the servant was dismissed, and he came to lean over her, smiling into the mirror and massaging the muscles of her elegant neck.
‘Mmm, don’t stop, Giles.’
‘How long must it go on?’
‘Until the muscles relax, my love.’ Lady Godmanchester almost purred.
‘Not this, madam. Pretending Lucius doesn’t exist.’
‘You know, she is not happy.’
‘Even a mere man can see that.’
‘I would never describe you as a “mere man”, my lord.’
‘Ah, not while I can provide this service.’
She reached up a hand to stroke his cheek. ‘You provide everything I need, always.’
He turned his head to press a kiss into her palm.
320‘Would you stay tonight, Giles?’
‘I thought, in view of your condition …’
‘I am not sure of, well, that, but I would like you to hold me. I want to fall asleep in your arms.’
He responded huskily, and for a while Lucius and Elizabeth were forgotten, but before she fell asleep, Helen remembered the abandoned conversation.
‘I think poor Elizabeth is torn.’
‘Mmm? Sorry, you are mumbling into my chest, dearest. Say that again.’
‘I said’ – she raised her head onto his shoulder and blew into his ear – ‘that poor Elizabeth is torn. I am convinced she has feelings for him, strong feelings, but she does not trust them. It makes me wretched to think of her so miserable.’
‘Then do not think. I do not want you wretched, and in this, she has to work things through for herself.’
‘But, perhaps, I might manage the odd nudge?’
‘Helen?’
‘The ban on mentioning Lucius’s name is lifted, as long as you do not lace your conversation with it, and I think you might write and tell him that if he wishes to write here, in another week he may do so.’
‘Yes, my lady. Any further commands?’
She whispered in his ear.
It was generally agreed that Lucius Radstock was an even-tempered fellow, but his close friends found him abstracted, and even a little curt, following Miss Ashling’s sudden withdrawal into Northamptonshire.
Lord Collingbourne, who had come upon him in Piccadilly and fallen into step 321beside him, assuming he was heading for his club, regarded him in deep concern, having asked a question three times without receiving an answer.
‘Oil of cloves,’ he declared, as loudly as he thought seemly in a public thoroughfare.
‘I beg your pardon?’ Sir Lucius looked at him in sudden surprise.
‘No. That is for toothache. Oil of something else, then, to soften wax in the ears.’
‘What on earth are you talking about, Collingbourne? And why yell at me?’
‘Sorry, my dear fellow, but I thought you must be suffering from deafness. I enquired three times whether you thought Sink or Swim had a chance up against Twinkletoes at Epsom next week, and not a word did I get in reply.’
‘Forgive me, I was lost in thought.’
‘What is your opinion?’
‘On what?’
‘Sink or Swim, or Twinkletoes.’
‘I really have no idea. It is scarcely important.’
‘It is when you have laid a pony on Sink or Swim,’ Lord Collingbourne replied, with some acerbity. ‘You’ll be telling me next you are not attending the meeting.’
‘How percipient. I am not.’
‘What? Now, stop roasting me, there’s a good chap. It is not yet noon, and I had a very convivial evening with Hemsworth last night, so the old head is not up to coping with your dry wit.’
‘I am not going.’
‘But … But you always go.’
322‘I am sorry to disappoint you, but not this time.’
Stunned by this unwelcome news, Lord Collingbourne turned instinctively to the left to head down St James’s, and almost fell over his friend, who had not deviated from his straight course.
‘I say, sorry, Lucius, but I assumed we were going to White’s.’
‘You may be, but I am not.’
‘Tattersall’s?’
‘No. I am going home.’
Lord Collingbourne’s wits might not be sharp, but he was perfectly able to grasp the fact that his friend was in no mood for company.
He bade him a kind farewell, adding that he hoped he felt better soon, and went to restore his spirits within the comforting familiarity of his club, where he came across Lord Bensthorpe, reading The Gazette. Bensthorpe looked up.
‘Why the long face, Collingbourne?’
‘Morning, Bensthorpe. I’ve just come along Piccadilly with Lucius Radstock, and the poor fellow is not himself at all. I thought at first it was his ears.’
‘His ears? How can his ears make him look different?’
‘Look different?’ Lord Collingbourne frowned. ‘Looks just the same as normal, if rather more serious. No, he’s not well, I tell you. I thought it was his ears, because he did not hear me ask a question, several times, but it is not that. Blocked ears would not stop him going to Epsom next week.’
‘But he has a colt running on the Thursday.’
‘That’s as may be, but he told me he was not attending. And,’ Lord Collingbourne added, as a clincher, ‘he said 323that whether Sink or Swim can beat Twinkletoes was unimportant.’
‘Lucius Radstock said that?’ Lord Bensthorpe sounded suitably shocked.
‘He did. You know, he was so preoccupied, I wonder if he has had bad news. Notice to quit. I mean, if he had something infectious he would be covered in spots and not walking down Piccadilly.’
‘Dash it, Collingbourne, he looked fit as a fiddle only last week.’
‘Ah, but remember Launceston. He was the life and soul of the party one night, and cold as a leg of mutton next day.’
‘But that was an apoplexy.’
‘Before you all start buying black ribands for Radstock, perhaps I might suggest another reason for his, er, “malaise”?’ drawled a voice behind them.
They had not noticed the approach of Lord Easby. They eyed him with interest, if little pleasure.
‘And what would that be?’ enquired Lord Bensthorpe, with a trace of suspicion.
‘The departure of the oh-so-disdainful Miss Ashling from our midst.’
‘Good grief. I had not thought of that. Of course!’
‘I only put it forward as a theory, of course, not being, shall we say, one of his intimates, but it has more validity than Collingbourne’s assumption of some sudden deadly ailment.
’ With which, having dropped this stone into the pool of conjecture, Easby bowed and moved away, leaving the two friends staring at each other.
324Sir Lucius did not return home to the solitude he craved. He was surprised to find his front door open, and a large number of trunks and valises being carried within. Sansom was overseeing this procedure, and beamed at his master.
‘Her ladyship has just arrived, sir. Her room is being prepared and you will find her in the Green Saloon.’
‘My mother? She gave no warning of descending upon me. I will go to her, of course. Has she partaken of luncheon? I know how little she eats before embarking upon a journey.’
‘She desired me to delay any repast until you arrived home, sir. I took it upon myself to say that you were expected back quite soon.’
Sir Lucius handed his hat and gloves to the footman, and took the stairs two at a time up to the Green Saloon, where he found Clarissa, Lady Radstock, seated near the window and surveying the street. He approached and bent to kiss her hand and then her cheek.
‘You should have warned me, Mama. I would have been here to receive you. Have you come to consult the doctor about your arthritis, or merely to condemn the latest fashions and then buy several charming new hats?’
He smiled at her, but she noticed that it was perfunctory.
So the gossip was true. She had hoped that her friend Lady Ellesmere was making much of a mere lovers’ tiff, but she had not seen her son look so serious since his father’s death.
Sir John’s demise had been totally unexpected, and had rendered her quite unable to deal with the legal and practical consequences.
Lucius had returned to the ancestral home immediately, and taken everything into 325his very capable hands, but there had been inquests and coroners and an awful lot of paperwork that he had had to go through with the family lawyer, whilst dealing with his own natural grief and concerns about her health, which had not been good.
And yet this was not the serious look that came from burdens and care.
This was different, and unsettling. He looked lost.
‘My arthritis is actually much better, I am glad to say. I hate being so “invalidish”, and walking with that stick as if I were seventy. No, I was merely in need of a little entertainment, and the last few weeks of the Season seemed likely to provide it. I hear that Monkwell is making a fool of himself over some schoolroom miss half his age, with no fortune and a harpy for a mother, and that Lady Kesteven is likely to present Kesteven with Montagu Westmore’s brat.
It is a good job both he and Kesteven are fair and blue-eyed, but if the child has Westmore’s hook of a nose … ’
‘You seem to know every on dit already, Mama.’ He paused.
‘So, have you come to find out if the gossip about me is true?’ There was a slight edge to his voice, and the eyes had hardened.
He was deeply attached to his mother, but he had no wish to see her involve herself in this most private of problems, and one which, if soluble at all, was dependent upon only himself and Elizabeth Ashling.
‘Yes. I am your mother, so it is natural that I should wish to do so. However, if you think I am going to burden you with advice, you may rest easy, for I am not. If you are in a coil, it is of your own making, and you are the best placed to extricate yourself, one way or another.’ She eyed him shrewdly.
‘My ideas are a generation outmoded. I do 326not understand the flouncy ways of the misses of today.’
‘Flouncy? Oh no, Mama, whatever else, Elizabeth is not “flouncy”, if you mean she is blowing hot and cold, and testing my mettle. She is perfectly sincere in her beliefs. What I cannot fathom as yet is whether her professed loathing of me is based purely upon my own errors, or is still grounded in past events over which I can have no control. As I told you, I had thought we were in a fair way to an understanding, but then …’ He sighed.
‘I am perforce reduced to kicking my heels and waiting before I can do anything, and the waiting is intolerable. I fear you will find me poor company, Mama.’
‘I did not come so that you might dance attendance on me, Lucius. I shall do very well visiting my friends who are in Town, and perhaps organising a card party or two here, if I may. Should you wish for my advice, and I doubt that you will, I am here.’
‘You are the best of mothers.’ The smile was genuine this time.