Chapter Six #3
“You know the state took me from abusive parents and placed me with my grandfather. That was true.” Salem still sounded dead.
“What you don’t know is he died a year later, and I couldn’t go back to Louisiana.
I couldn’t go back to…” Salem cleared his throat.
He was stiff as a statue in their arms, but he talked, and that felt like progress.
“I took all the money I could find in the house and sold everything of his I could. Then I disappeared. His body was still in bed, where he died peacefully, when I walked out the door and didn’t look back.
I knew if I told anyone, my next stop might be hell.
So I just slipped away. It didn’t take me long to realize I could charm old men.
It started small, a little money for an hour here or there.
A lot of money for overnight. No one cared I was barely fourteen.
In fact, they liked that. I got bolder, older, and smarter.
I found more and more ways to support myself.
Then I met Tarek, and he made me wa nt more.
He made me want a normal life with a home and friends.
He was my age and didn’t judge me. When I found out about his awful parents, I helped him escape.
Then JD came along, and I swear he saw right through me and liked me anyway.
I know no one believes me, but I loved him.
It was an odd sort of fucked-up love, but I finally had exactly what I wanted.
He had two amazing sons and a beautiful home.
I got to cook and play house—like I was a real person and not just the shell I left behind in Louisiana.
Then he died and I don’t know. You two became my whole life and I don’t know how to lose this. I’m not sure I can survive it.”
Quest wanted so fucking badly to squeeze the hurt from Salem. He needed Salem to see how real they were, but he didn’t know how. Quest just opened his mouth and words fell out. “Do you know why I chose to stay with JD when he divorced my mom?”
A humorless laugh burst from Salem. “I’ve met her. I understand.”
Despite everything, Quest smiled. He heard the hint of life returning to Salem.
“It’s because I had never been loved before JD.
For once, and for real, I had a parent who wanted me.
He was already elderly when he married Mom but he acted like a man half his age.
He acted like a dad. While Mom was out spending his money, he was taking me to football games and for ice cream.
To this day, I’m a thousand percent positive he married my mom and Dodge’s because he wanted their sons.
He was willing to look like he got used up by gold diggers just to have the sons he never could.
But you, I think he married you because you were the one who made him wish and dream.
You gave him a normal life—like the spouse he truly wanted for himself.
For the last few months of his life, you gave him something he couldn’t buy.
No matter how much anyone thinks you were bought. We know better.”
Quest pulled away and forced Salem to look at him.
His nose and eyes were red. He looked like he had been crying all night.
Salem looked vulnerable in a way Quest hadn’t seen or expected before tonight.
“Not one time have I felt guilty for falling in love with you because I knew JD better than anyone. There’s nothing he would’ve wanted more than our happiness.
” He led Salem to the bed and sat, pulling Salem down with him.
Dodge joined them. “We love you. For real.” Dodge sounded desperate to make Salem believe.
“This isn’t a game of us and you. The three of us are like one soul or something.
I can’t explain it. We just fit together, and I know you know that.
JD found us and brought us together. I won’t…
I can’t walk away from us. You two are all that keeps me here.
On this planet. Otherwise, I don’t know how to live inside this head alone.
Trust me, I’ve had all the therapy and done all the drugs.
This is the only place I find peace.” He paused.
A look of pure devastation touched his features.
“But forget I said all that. I won’t emotionally blackmail you into loving me the way I need.
You can walk away from me if that’s what it takes for you to survive.
I love you enough to let you go. I love you more than I do me. ”
Quest couldn’t stop switching his gaze between the pair. Dodge was reaching him. Quest watched the steel slowly return to Salem’s spine.
“Don’t ever say that shit to me again. How dare you think I’d ever feel manipulated by you or leave you?” He looked Quest’s way. “Either of you. No matter what, you’re the best parts of me, and I won’t stop trying to be better.”
Quest loved him so fucking much. Salem was the strongest person he knew.
He should have known Salem wouldn’t stay down for long.
The fight returned to eyes a little more by the second.
Air finally fully filled his lungs. They were okay.
Maybe they were all a little broken, but they sealed each other’s cracks and made each other whole.
One drunk asshole couldn’t break them. Nothing could.
The way Dodge shook inside hadn’t happened in years.
He was on the edge of a full-blown panic attack, but it was worth it to make Salem see they were all together for a reason.
This wasn’t some flighty love or fun times.
They had a bond no one else could understand.
It had just been a long time coming for them to talk about it.
Salem stood and peeled off his shirt. When he went to work on his pants, his eyebrows rose. “Well. Why am I the only one stripping? I want to snuggle with my babies.”
They didn’t hesitate to fly to their feet and strip.
Dodge needed exactly what Salem offered: a puddle of cuddles.
He felt gross and on edge after talking about his mom.
Dodge had a ton of mixed feelings. Back when he had been seduced by his very first older woman, Dodge had been old enough to know better and thought it was amazing.
He was special. Women couldn’t keep their hands off him.
He was sexy and irresistible, so age didn’t matter.
In his heart, he knew his mom hadn’t truly thought she did anything wrong with him.
After all, men can’t be victims. That was bullshit.
The older he had gotten, the more he realized how wrong everything felt.
He became suicidal and the self-hatred had been deep.
Then he had been thrown in Quest’s path.
The very thought of being told to seduce a man nearly sent him off a cliff, except Quest was unlike anyone Dodge had ever met.
He was kind. It was beyond obvious he had never been chased so hard by another guy.
The affection that grew between them felt a hell of a lot like something he had never had.
Something pure. Quest didn’t take the bait in the way Dodge expected.
He loved Dodge for real without the sex and games.
It would have been the straw that broke him for Quest to learn why Dodge had thrown himself at Quest. That was why he had been honest. Also, he had just needed help.
He had known all the way to his soul that Quest would free him.
Dodge didn’t know how to say no to his mom.
She had too many ways to manipulate him.
He had been right. Quest had freed him. But, sometimes, Dodge wondered if it cost Quest his soul.
For a few years, Dodge wondered if that was why Quest didn’t love him the way he used to.
Now Dodge realized it was him who stood between them.
He had crawled inside his head and forgotten how to let anyone love him.
Dodge had been set on ruining himself because he didn’t deserve love.
Salem was the same. He lived in his head, guiltily believing he wasn’t worthy of this beautiful relationship.
The three of them so desperately needed one another.
So again, Dodge had bared his soul to save someone.
He needed to rescue Salem the way Quest had done for him.
The shaking in his stomach didn’t ease until they were nude under the blankets and holding each other. Salem scratched their heads. Dodge listened to him breathe.
“So how did dinner go?” Quest’s question had them suddenly laughing, wiping away the dark cloud hanging over them.
“Honestly, it was better than you’d think. I was seated next to Prince Noir and his husband. They salvaged the night by sweeping me away.”
“Yeah. JD liked Noir a lot. The feeling always looked mutual. Noir used to be kind of intimidating and scary to be around until he married Lazarus.”
“Now Lazarus is the terrifying one,” Dodge added, throwing in his two cents.
Salem chuckled. The sound warmed Dodge’s chest. A tangle of legs and feet played, making Dodge smile. He couldn’t stay quiet .
“I’ve been in love with both of you for a really long time.
I honestly can’t imagine a life without you.
Can we please stop with the push and pull?
I don’t know about you two, but I’m exhausted.
Life has made me tired. This is the only peace I have.
” He lifted onto his elbow and held Salem’s stare.
“When you told us to move our stuff in here, I thought we were finally settled. Now, there’s a niggle of fear scratching at the back of my brain again because it’s like we’re never completely established.
It’s like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop all the time and I hate it. ”