9. Luke
NINE
luke
J oel and I found ourselves with some free time while the girls went to the mall.
Olivia and her mom were off doing last-minute Christmas shopping. We decided to dive into getting the house ready for the holiday festivities. Cracking open a couple of beers, we tackled setting up the surround sound and hauling out the heavy decor that Janine loved so much. It seemed like a recipe for disaster, but we persisted.
“So,” Joel began, casting a knowing gaze on me as he fidgeted with the wiring of the soundbar. “You and Olivia seem real happy.”
Solace slid through my bloodstream at the mention of her name. She embodied everything that meant comfort to me. She was everything to me.
“Olivia,” I breathed out her name, feeling winded like the breath was knocked out of my lungs. “Is the most incredible woman I’ve ever met.”
He locked eyes with me and narrowed his gaze.
God, I hope this doesn’t turn into some weird interrogation .
The only thing that mattered to me, other than Olivia, was making sure her parents at least knew I’d do anything to be good enough for their daughter. Even knowing I'd never be good enough for her, I’d never stop trying.
“That Matt character she was with for years,” he said, handing me one end of the soundbar as he prepared to mount it to the wall, just below the television. “He really put up a good front until he took her from us.” He shook his head. Matt’s manipulative ways were insidious. “I should’ve known his plan the night we’d gone out to dinner.”
He proceeded to tell me a painful story. One where Matt’s shady plan tarnished the glittering future they’d wanted for their daughter.
I swallowed hard.
He’d nearly torn a family apart and broke Olivia in more ways than one.
“I’m glad she’s found her way back to you guys,” I told him earnestly, “and away from him.”
He just curtly nodded as we finished mounting the heavy speaker.
“We aren’t for sure,” he started, lowering his gaze to the floor and then back to me cryptically. “But we did have reason to believe he was abusing her.”
“He was.” I clipped. Already regretting the words as soon as they left my fucking lips.
You fucking idiot.
Joel’s eyes widened in complete shock, as if he knew but didn’t want to believe it. “What?” he uttered the word with a tremor in his lower lip.
Shit. How do I clean this up? How do I not say anything more without avoiding the question like a dumbass?
My brain conveniently disappeared. Every brain cell I had left was practically on fire, and the only words I could form were all the vile things I wanted to do to Matt for daring to lay his hands on the love of my life.
“I”—my words felt clumsy in my mouth and sounded even worse to my ears—“I don’t know what all happened.”
Okay, we’re getting somewhere. Any words are good. Keep going.
“But I can assure you.” I met his stare and refused to blink, no matter how dry my eyes got. “I’d never lay a hand on her.”
His face relaxed as I spoke, and I hoped to Jesus that he’d keep what I accidentally blurted out to himself.
“Yeah,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand and looking down. “I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe we didn’t intervene. Do something sooner.”
Oh, I intervened, alright.
I debated whether or not to boast about beating the shit out of Matt and how I’d risk my job to do it again or if that would counteract what I said about never being violent toward their daughter.
Probably shouldn’t say anything. Thank God Seattle news doesn't reach this side of the world.
“You could’ve never known,” I said, not really knowing how to ease the uncomfortable tension that brewed between us.
The silence of the house seemed to surround us, leaving me with a tense and itchy feeling. Like my skin was the wrong size. The mention of Matt always did that to me, but this time, it left me uneasy.
Like something was coming.
I shook the thoughts off immediately. Paranoia gripped me, but I dismissed it. We were hundreds of miles away. Matt had no way of hurting Olivia again. I’d make damn sure of that. Motherfucker would have to kill me to get to her .
And he wasn’t capable of that.
“Sorry,” Joel’s voice snapped me out of the rabbit hole I fell victim to. “I didn’t mean to make things awkward by bringing up my daughter’s ex.” He laughed, his eyes crinkled at the sides, showing years of good times and happiness. “So I have to ask. I wouldn’t be your stereotypical dad if I didn't.”
My face softened, knowing where this was going. “Ask away.”
“What’re your intentions with my daughter?” He feigned an angry tone to his voice while simultaneously stifling his laughter. I could feel the corner of my lips tug into a smile. He reminded me of Aidan then.
“My intentions, you say?” I echoed his words, playing along. He grabbed the remote and powered on the TV and the newly installed soundbar, hoping the two would connect. “I intend to keep her safe no matter what. Even if it costs me everything. Even if it costs me her.”
And I meant every fucking word.
“Is that the cop in you talking? Ya know, protect and serve mambo jumbo you’re spittin’ at me?”
I smiled at his verbiage. “No, Sir.”
His gaze narrowed, and his joyous expression deepened. “I like the sound of that.” Audio came screaming out of the bar, nearly taking us both out as laughter caressed my throat.
I didn’t even recognize the sound coming out of me.
“I like you, Luke,” Joel said between catching his breath and the laugh that turned into a violent cough. His body shook with each inhale, giving me the chance to bask in his compliment.
“I like you too, Joel.”
Elation radiated from him just as the front door clicked open, standing out even over the blaring soundbar .
“We’re back!” Janine’s voice sang through the entryway as she and Olivia stepped through.
Her voice carried on as she filled her husband in on their day. Giving him a quick kiss on the cheek as she spoke, setting down bags and swatting his hand away as he tried to peek.
My eyes landed on Olivia, and my heart stopped.
Joy glimmered in her eyes, her cheeks flushed from the bite of the cold outside. The wind had whipped her curly hair into a frenzy, only partially tamed by the knit hat pulled snugly over her ears. She gazed lovingly at her parents as her father carefully hung a new ornament while her mother straightened the string of lights with a soft hum. In that moment, I could see that being us a few years from now.
She’d have my last name, a ring on her finger, and maybe a family of our own to celebrate the holidays with. Upgrading her parents to grandma and grandpa. It all played in my mind like a silent film; an unfamiliar flutter filled my chest like fireworks igniting in the night sky at midnight.
Fear crippled me, watching her do ordinary things.
I’d never been that fucking terrified in my life to lose someone before.
But as I looked at Olivia standing there, just standing there , I realized I’d do anything in this world to keep her out of harm's way. Losing her would run devastation through my life the way a hurricane rushes through anything in its way, ripping lives apart in its departure.
Her eyes met mine as my tortured mind played worst case scenarios through my head. Her gaze softened, melting me to my core, and my body went to her before I realized I even told it to.
“Hi,” her sweet voice wafted up to my ears. Like a shot of espresso rocketing through my bloodstream, my hands reached her, taking her face in my hands. I pressed the tiniest kiss to her lips.
Gentle enough that it wasn’t inappropriate in front of her parents, but firm enough that I hoped she felt how much I loved her since I was too chicken fucking shit to say it.
“Hi,” I rubbed a thumb across her cheek, warming it under my touch. Her body melded into me comfortably, chasing away all the troubled thoughts that plagued me.
“What do you kids say we start dinner!” Her parents’ voices caroled the words together, pulling us from the trance we seemed to get lost in every time we touched each other.
She nodded. “Dinner sounds great. I’m starving.”
And my heart had found its forever home.