19. London
Finding a second to talk to Ramsay without Nee knowing wasn’t as difficult as I’d thought it would be.
After barely sleeping for stewing over Nick’s threats on top of everything else, I decided as much as it chafed, I couldn’t bring Nick into Murray and Kelly’s life. The thought of my ex doing anything to harm them—and me having let it happen out of pride—made me sick.
Therefore, I told Ramsay everything when he dropped Nee off at the B and B. I didn’t know if it was his weird sixth sense, but when Nee went into the dining room to help Emmy serve our guests, Ramsay stayed with me in the kitchen. I immediately showed him the texts.
“Forward them to me,” he’d demanded.
“Don’t tell Nee. I don’t want her stressed.”
Ramsay was visibly torn, but he’d nodded, jaw clenched so hard I felt awful for putting him in that position.
“If you get any more texts, forward them to me.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Find something big enough on this fucker to keep him out of your life permanently. I’ll take care of this,” he promised.
Then he shocked me by rounding the kitchen island to press a kiss to my forehead.
“Sometimes it’s okay to lean on people.” His startlingly blue eyes twinkled as he stepped back. “That’s what Silver would say.”
I thanked him, my pride somewhat soothed by his words as he strode off, taking my problems upon his very wide shoulders.
Murray had texted to let me know the emergency order came through and he had sole custody of Kelly until the situation could go before a judge.
His solicitor was pretty sure it wouldn’t even go to court, that a judge would review his and Jill’s files and grant him permanent sole custody.
Maybe it was my own bias because of how little love my mother had shown me, but I didn’t even feel bad for Jill.
I was only relieved for Murray and Kelly.
However, there was also a feeling of being surplus to requirement. My presence at the house was complicating an already difficult situation for Kelly.
Nee knew something was up, but I told her about the situation with Murray and she seemed to buy it as the reason for my absentmindedness.
Not wanting to crowd Murray’s teenaged daughter, I found ways to keep myself busy in the village.
I prepped for tomorrow’s breakfast and then Nee and I went down onto Main Street to have lunch with Cammie and Taran at the Lantern.
Taran needed to do an inventory check at the charity shop after, so I volunteered to watch the front of the store while she did that.
Around 4:30, I was bored because no one had stepped inside the store in fifteen minutes.
Murray’s text arrived to alleviate said boredom.
Are you going to be home in time for dinner? Mum’s cooking. She’d like to meet you.
My stomach knotted at the thought of inserting myself into their lives.
“London.”
I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up from my phone to find Taran standing next to me, her brows furrowed as she studied my face.
“What is going on? You look so sad.”
Sighing heavily, I waved my phone, not quite able to meet her eyes. “I’m just … feeling a little sorry for myself. I’ll get over it.”
“Talk to me.” She leaned against the cash desk, her back to the shop entrance.
“I feel … I want Glenvulin to be my home. I’ve gone to extreme lengths not to leave. But … sometimes I feel like a burden more than a person.” I huffed, looking away as I blinked back tears. “How self-pitying is that bullshit? Just ignore me.”
“No.” Taran ducked her head to catch my gaze. “I want to know what you mean.”
“Our friendship began because I needed a safe place to crash and you gave me that. Ramsay and Nee have spent the last two years rescuing me and Ramsay is still doing it because Nick is still threatening me. I thought marrying Murray was me taking some control, not burdening other people, but now with everything going on with Kelly, I am just another burden he doesn’t need.
Kelly wants me gone. She doesn’t trust women right now and she wants me gone, and I don’t blame her. I am dreading going back to the house.”
Taran took me by the biceps, her expression one of stern concern.
“First of all, our friendship started because we both needed someone to get us through the worst thing we’d ever gone through.
You saved me as much as you think I saved you.
You were never a burden to me. You were the opposite, London.
I never would have gotten through that first year of losing Mum without you. ”
Her words were like a balm over the wound in my chest, and I blinked hard to hold back the sting of tears they elicited.
“Second of all, Murray agreed to the marriage because he was getting something out of it too. And maybe if you stopped tiptoeing around each other, a real friendship might come of it. Second, Kelly needs to know she can trust new people who come into her life. You have to be that example for her. Otherwise, that lassie will grow up mistrustful and guarded, and how terribly lonely will that be? You probably understand her better than anyone can right now, and I think it will be good for the both of you if you push a little to stay in her life. Third, what is going on with Nick?”
I reluctantly showed Taran the text messages and told her Ramsay was looking into it, but I didn’t want Nee to know.
“Why?” Taran asked, confused.
I didn’t know how to explain how important it was not to stress Tierney out right now. “She’s … she’s been worrying about the B and B, and she’s really stressed. I don’t want to put more on her. Neither does Ramsay.”
“Okay.” Taran frowned. “I’ll keep it to myself. But I’m here if you need to talk. London, Nick’s only messing with you. There’s nothing he can do to hurt you.”
I didn’t reply because I didn’t want to scare her, but I knew that wasn’t true.
I knew Nick was far more dangerous than anyone realized.
However, Taran did make me feel better. A lot better. Stronger.
I texted Murray back that I’d be at dinner.
As Taran and I locked up the store a little while later, she turned to me before we went our separate ways. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had outside of Quinn, and it hurts to think you feel alone here.”
At the bright shine of tears in her dark eyes, I grabbed her hand and squeezed it in reassurance. “You reminded me that I’m not. I promise. Thank you.”
She gave me a relieved smile. “Let me know how dinner goes. Remember, perseverance. Teens are hard work. Heather gave Quinn a difficult time before she came out.” She referred to Quinn’s eighteen-year-old daughter who came out to Quinn last summer.
“The trick is to remember that even when they’re telling you to get the hell away from them, they need to know you’re not actually going anywhere. ”
The weight of Kelly’s situation sat heavy on my shoulders, but I’d married her dad and her well-being was now my responsibility, even if Murray’s and my relationship was fake.
Taran waved as she strode to her car and I walked across Main Street and uphill to the B and B to where my SUV was parked.
Usually, I felt butterflies in my tummy when I knew I’d see Murray because of my attraction to him.
Now they fluttered wildly for multiple reasons.
I didn’t know what to expect from Kelly, and I was about to meet Murray’s mom again but this time as my mother-in-law.
We’d met at the mini Christmas market last year and she’d seemed lovely. Gentle and warm.
However, that was before I married her only child behind her back.