14. Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fourteen
Finn
“It’s really you,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
I haven’t seen her since that night. She hasn’t changed one bit—same brunette hair, same hazel eyes. Except now, she’s in a pink sundress, standing in my best friend’s house with a small puppy licking pancakes off the floor. There’s no way the Millie I knew then is the same woman I’ve been watching Declan crush on for the last few days.
“What are you doing here?” she asks again, her eyes wide.
“Declan forgot his gym bag, so I was coming to get it,” I explain, still unable to believe she’s here.
Lily comes over and hugs me. I squeeze her, needing to keep myself occupied before I rush over and pull Millie into my arms. She looks as shocked as I feel.
“How do you know Declan?” she asks, her voice trembling slightly.
“We’re teammates. I play hockey, remember?”
She swallows hard and reaches for a dustpan to clean up the mess on the floor. I should help, but I’m too scared to be close to her. I’m not really sure I can keep my hands off of her as it is. It’s been so long since I saw her. So much has changed since then.
My phone buzzes in my back pocket, and I know it’s Declan. “I should go,” I tell her.
She nods, her eyes not meeting mine. I hold Lily’s hand as I walk to Declan’s bedroom, grab his gym bag and allergy medication, then turn to head out. “We really should talk,” I tell her before leaving.
“Okay,” she whispers.
I can’t believe she’s here.
I head back to Declan, who’s waiting impatiently outside. I decide not to tell him anything. My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts as we drive to the rink.
In the locker room, the guys are talking about strategy, but I can’t focus. My thoughts keep drifting back to Millie.
“Yo, Finn! You okay, man?” Troy asks, snapping his fingers in front of my face.
“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine,” I mumble.
“Could’ve fooled me,” he says, shaking his head.
Coach walks in and starts giving us the game plan, but I can’t concentrate. My mind keeps replaying the moment I saw Millie. Coach’s voice fades into the background as I remember the way she looked at me.
“Finn! You with us?” Coach barks.
“Yeah, Coach, sorry,” I say, shaking my head to clear it.
“You better be,” he warns. “We need everyone focused today.”
I nod, but my mind is still elsewhere. On the ice, I’m not myself. My head’s not in the game and it shows. Troy slams me into the boards and I hit the ice hard.
“Damn it, Finn! What the hell’s wrong with you today?” Coach yells as I get to my feet.
“Sorry, Coach,” I mumble, rubbing my shoulder.
“You’re not in the game today. Go sit for a while,” he orders and I slump onto the bench, barely able to concentrate on the game.
I watch my teammates skate around, but my mind keeps drifting back to Millie. How could she be here? Why now? What does this mean for us?
The game ends and I barely notice. The guys are talking and laughing, but I can’t join in. I’m too distracted. Declan comes over and sits next to me.
“Hey, man, you okay?” he asks, concern in his eyes.
“Yeah, just a rough day,” I lie.
“Wanna talk about it?” he offers.
“Nah, I’m good. Just need to clear my head,” I say, forcing a smile.
“All right, if you say so,” he says, clapping me on the shoulder.
I head back to the locker room to change, but I’m moving on autopilot. My mind is still with Millie, replaying every moment of our brief encounter.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asks again.
“Yeah, I’m just tired,” I say, not meeting his eyes.
He nods, but I can tell he doesn’t believe me. I close my eyes, trying to clear my mind, but all I can see is Millie’s face. I need to talk to her, figure out what’s going on. But for now, I’ll have to settle for the endless loop of questions running through my mind.
“Hey, you wanna grab some food?” Declan asks, breaking the silence. “Lily will be preoccupied having fun with Millie until around six. So, what do you say? Pasta?”
“Sure, why not,” I say, forcing myself to get up.
We head out to our usual spot, but I can’t enjoy the meal. My mind keeps drifting back to Millie, wondering what this means for us.
Back home, I head to my room, needing some space to think. I lie on my bed, staring at the ceiling, my mind racing . What am I going to do? How do I deal with seeing her again?
I play some Chopin, trying to calm my racing mind. I grab a beer and decide to repot some of my plants. The repetitive task helps. I must have been at it for hours because my back is in knots when I finally stand up.
Then I hear the door knock and Declan walks in. He looks at me and says, “Just put Lily to bed and wanted to check in. You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay,” I say, trying to sound convincing.
He gives me a knowing look. “I know when you’re okay and you’ve been distracted all day. What’s going on?”
I take a deep breath. “Declan, sit down. We need to talk.”
Declan looks nervous as I wash my hands and bring him a beer. “Remember that girl I slept with once, and then she snuck off the next day?”
“Of course,” he says.
“It’s Millie.”
I watch him mull this over before he stands, then sits, then stands again. “Fuck,” he says, downing half the bottle of beer.
“I know,” I say. “I had no idea I’d see her again, but then I walked into your apartment this morning, and there she was.”
“Fuck!” Declan runs a hand through his hair. “Now what?”
“I’m not sure either,” I admit.
“The mature thing would be for you to talk to her,” Declan says.
I shake my head. “No.”
“We’re facing the Minnesota Frostbites in less than four days. You can’t afford for the coach to bench you because you are distracted. Just talk to her. Get it over with.”
“Won’t it feel like I’m ambushing her? She left, after all,” I remind him.
“It would be easier if you at least figured out why she even left in the first place. You can’t spiral until you know the truth, Finn,” he says.
“Okay,” I take another sip of beer. “What’s the plan?”
“I’ll ask her if she wants to talk in the morning, then I’ll text you. We don’t have practice until noon.”
“Sounds great.”
“Perfect.”
I nod and thank him. We lean back, sipping our beers in silence, lost in our own thoughts.
I head back to my room, trying to process everything. I need to get my head straight. I lie down, staring at the ceiling. Why did she leave? Why is she here now? My phone buzzes with a text from Declan.
Talked to her. She’s willing to meet tomorrow morning. Coffee shop at 10.
I stare at the message, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety. I need answers, but I’m not sure I’m ready for them.
The next morning, I head to the coffee shop early. I grab a table in the corner, trying to steady my nerves. When Millie walks in, my heart skips a beat. She looks around, spots me, and walks over.
“Hey,” she says, sitting down across from me.
“Hey,” I reply, trying to keep my voice steady.
We sit in awkward silence for a moment before I break it. “It’s been a long time.”
“I know it has.”
“I thought we were…we were having a good time, right? I wasn’t mistaken about that right?”
“That had nothing to do with you, I promise. I was in a shitty place in my life, and I could recognize that you deserved better…”
“Why did you leave, Millie? Why ghost me instead of I don’t know, having a conversation with me first?”
She looks down, fidgeting with her coffee cup. “It’s complicated, Finn. I...I panicked. Things were moving too fast and I wasn’t ready.”
I nod, trying to understand. “Why didn’t you say anything? Why just disappear?”
She looks up, her eyes filled with regret. “My ex-boyfriend called me the next day. I was na?ve and scared that I was rushing into something new,,perfect and shiny. I didn’t know how to explain it. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Well, disappearing hurt more than you could imagine,” I say, my voice cracking.
“I’m sorry, Finn. I really am. I never meant to hurt you,” she says, tears welling up in her eyes.
I take a deep breath, trying to stay calm. “Why are you here now?”
“Declan needed a nanny and I needed a job. It was a coincidence, I swear. I had no idea you were his teammate,” she explains. “I’ve been dating Chase. He lives in your building.” She laughs and shakes her head. “Imagine all of you living in the same place. What are the odds?”
I nod, processing her words. “So, what now?”
“I don’t know,” she admits. “I’m just trying to figure things out.”
“We both are,” I say, feeling a bit of the weight lift off my shoulders.
We sit in silence, sipping our coffee, the tension slowly easing. “We should talk more. Figure this out,” I suggest.
She nods, a small smile forming on her lips. “Yeah, we should.”
“In the meantime, friends?”
“I can do friends,” she smiles at me.
“I hear you have a boyfriend and a puppy now, so I am assuming you broke up with Ryan eventually.”
“You remember his name!” she says incredulously.
“Millie, I remember every single thing that you said and did that night.” I watch a delicious blush creep up her neck. She must be remembering how good we had felt together,
Fuck! I take a deep breath. She’s dating someone else now and my best friend also seems to be into her.
“Finn…” she whispers.
“Tell me about Chase,” I interrupt her. I try to ignore her crestfallen look.
Maybe hearing about her new boyfriend will help me fight the way my hands itch to reach out and touch her.