Twenty-Eight
Liam
Once we got home from the boat, my orders were to check all the suites below deck.
My guys didn’t find any poker games, but they found one girl, her wrist attached to the bed frame, drugged up and terrified.
We immediately took care of her, and I set up a doctor, passport, and everything else she’ll need.
I am giving these girls their hope back in a matter of days, instead of making them wait years for a justice system that will barely listen to their truths.
Maybe she’s right to follow this poker lead—but not without me. I can’t lose another person who gives my existence meaning.
Joe had been there my whole life, and now he is gone. His absence eating me up through flesh and bones, and fuck, grief can feel insurmountable.
I failed him, I failed so hard, and when Sara mentioned she was on the boat for the poker games, while I was there to search for trafficked girls, leading us both at the same place, I realized I may have missed something Joe was doing and didn’t let me in on.
Joe and I had worked together saving these girls, and perhaps he found a connection I hadn’t come across yet, until now, until Sara discovered that briefcase under his bed.
I knock twice at the bathroom door between us. I want to shield Sara from all this ugliness, but I also need her help to understand these poker games. These games that I think connect to trafficking.
“Are you okay? Please tell me you’re not hurting yourself, Sara, please,” I ask.
When I hear nothing from the other side, I’m tempted to break the door open.
“…I’m okay,” she mumbles as I hear the electronic toothbrush, her voice breaking. Fuck. I can’t handle her distress when I’m not the source of her anguish.
The door flies open and she stumbles, strands of her hair flying with the movement.
“I always forget this door isn’t as heavy as I think it is. I was fixing my mascara.”
“You did look like a little raccoon.” I smirk, holding out my hand.
“Whose fault?” she asks, reminding how I dunked her in the jacuzzi, and I pull her close to my chest, kissing the top of her head.
“You just needed a little sense knocked back into you before unraveling on me.”
She punches my shoulder and wiggles free, stalking toward the kitchen. “Oh, shut up.”
I can’t help but grin at this beautiful, feisty girl. I prowl up behind her and reel her back against me, gripping her waist. Her silk dress was now all dried up, and her heels still making her pocket size.
“Stop taunting me. You loved it.” I wrap my arms around her as she rests her head on my shoulder. I inhale her, this intoxication getting the best of me.
“You’re clinically psychotic.” She laughs quietly, eyes shut, looking peaceful for the first time tonight.
“You can’t say I didn’t warn you.” I nip at her ear, holding her tighter. Closer.
While I may have gone too far dunking her head underwater, my primal anger and fear, stemming from the idea that she could’ve easily been taken away from me, frayed my ever-ending nerves.
I lost my cool, my mind. The thought ripped open that same black void I fell into when Joe died.
It's that same crushing weight that makes each breath feel like drowning.
Now I understand why Joe felt the need to envelop her in his desperate attempt to love and be loved.
She would’ve given herself to him until the end of time, I know she would have, because Sara is loyal to a fault and I see her walk through life wanting to cling to anything that is worth her loyalty.
It’s been repeatedly taken away from her, not only taken from her, but left her thinking it was her fault.
I have repeated the same cycle, re-traumatizing her by telling her Joe’s death was her doing. Deep down, I don’t believe it, but he was looking for her, and now this sinking feeling that he was in trouble is creeping in.
I miscalculated what she would come to mean to me in the months I’ve had her by my side. I didn’t realize I’d get hit by a full freight train when the lies about my feelings for her became easier to process than resisting her.
The truth lies bare; I want her. When she nearly slipped through my fingers today, something inside me hardened into certainty. I don't just want her close; I need her like the air in my lungs.
There's no going back now. Whatever it takes, she belongs to me.
“Look at me.” I lift her chin. “Sara, look at me.” Her eyes find mine and they're glossy, tired.
“I’m not a good man, but I’m better than these pieces of shit. This is why I kill without guilt. So, I carved out a place for myself inside a government that barely gives a shit. If you knew tonight was dangerous…”
“I didn’t know the extent of it… I didn’t know what I was walking into. That girl, Liam. What they must’ve done to her...I wish that whole boat could burn.”
“Now you know, Sara.”
“Now I do.” She nods.
I run my fingers in her hair. “I’ve always cared about you.
I just hated myself for it. I struggle so much not to want you.
Fuck.” I close my eyes, drowning in what I can no longer control.
“I try. I really do—but I want you. I want every part of you. I need you to trust me beyond your defenses, because I’m standing on rocky ground as it is.
I will shatter to reach all of you.” Her breathing trembles as I cup her face and turn her around to face me.
“How can you be so sure?” she softly whispers, her hand covering mine.
“I’m here, Sara. I’ve been in front of you, haven’t I? I plan to be there for you. I’ll decimate whoever stalks you and shield you from anything that might tear you away from me. I won’t let anything or anyone take you from me.”
Before she can respond, because this moment is too volatile, I kiss her. I kiss her as if my life depends on it, my tongue exploring her mouth, hoping my touch translates the words my voice can’t.
I’ve always wanted you.
When she kisses me back with equal ferocity, the world melts away—there is only her and me.
“Fuck, baby.” I groan against her, pressing her back to the kitchen island and lifting her onto it. Her legs wrap around my waist, arms coil around my neck and I need her closer.
My hands trail up her body, pulling her against me. Even through her dress and my shirt, I feel her nipples harden against my chest, and I drown in her scent. Drown in the taste of her lips.
Her fingers tangle in my hair, drawing me deeper as if she can’t get enough either.
The memory of what happened between us on the boat flashes through my mind, how close I came to crossing that line and fucking her, but she deserves better than a rushed moment born from adrenaline and fear.
Better than what that piece of shit Tyler gave her.
I am determined to erase his worthless touch and ruin her for any other men.
Her body trembles, her hands shaking against my jaw, and I softly look up at her.
“Okay?”
I watch her wrap her arms around my waist, eyes wide, looking up at me with a fear that has nothing to do with me and everything to do with ghosts I can’t see. She whispers, voice cracking.
“I’m sorry… it’s all so much, Liam.”
“Sara,” I say softly, tracing my thumb on her cheek, while every cell in my body screams to pull her back against my lips. “Talk to me.”
“Mm-hmm.” She looks down, uncertain.
“I want you to say anything to me. You can talk to me. You can even complain about me to me.” I smirk, keeping my voice gentle.
“I'm terrified, Liam, not of you—well, that’s still debatable.” She chuckles with a laced sadness. “Of this.” She gestures between us. “Of what happens when I let myself need someone again and…”
I remain still, listening.
“Every time I’ve opened myself up, I’ve only received scars in return, but staying away from you is really fucking hard. It’s confusing.” Her fingers gently stroke my jaw. “Everything I've ever wanted has been taken away.”
“Sara,” I whisper, running my hand through my hair. “I understand more than you know, baby. I’m scared too.”
She scoffs. “You, scared? You’re not scared of anything.”
“I am very much. Everyone is afraid of something. It’s what determines what we value the most and the risks we are willing to take.
” I lower my head, sighing. “Look, today I was really scared of something happening to you and that’s because I care a lot about you and I’d risk…
” I look up at her. “I’d risk the pain of you walking away from me to have this with you.
” I place my hand on the back of her neck and brush my lips against hers.
“My father—” I clear my throat, I’ve never really confided this with anyone.
“My father wore two faces. Outside our home, he was all smiles and handshakes—the perfect family man everyone admired.
But behind closed doors? He became someone else entirely.
I learned to step between his fists and my mother.
Between his rage and Joe. I'd take whatever he dished out, thinking if I could be strong enough, smart enough, that I could shield my mom and Joe. But his demons were insatiable.”
I run my thumb over her cheek, exhaling slowly.
“Joe never stopped hoping for the father he deserved.
I tried to be that for him, but a brother cannot fill some voids a child craves of a parent.
That absence follows you, Sara, and too many people have checked out on you.
It carves something out of us that ultimately only we can rebuild in ourselves.
Only you can decide you're worth more than what they made you believe and took away from you.”
Tears wells up in her eyes, her soft touch on my chest. “I’m so sorry Liam. You and Joe didn’t deserve that.”