13. Sophie
CHAPTER 13
Sophie
“ I ’m heading there now, Danny,” I said, pressing the phone to my ear and holding it up with my shoulder while I fumbled with the keys in the front door. There was nothing harder than talking on the phone while trying to juggle the keys and my growing anxiety.
“Do you want me to meet you there?” Danny asked, sounding so sincere my heart would’ve melted if a visit to the gynecologist wasn’t the last place in the world I wanted to meet up with my brother.
“No, thank you,” I said flatly.
“Oh, come on,” he nagged. “I’ll buy you an ice cream after. One of those sugar cones, like Dad used to do after the dentist.”
“I swear it’s his fault I had so many cavities as a kid. And no, thank you, Danny. Some things are just meant to be done without company,” I replied, though this wasn’t one of those things. What I needed was a boyfriend or a fiancé or even better, a husband to hold my hand lovingly while a doctor prodded and poked.
“Oh, come on ," moaned Danny. "Let me be a good baby brother and escort you to the lady doctor. Surely she just has to do a little scan of the bean. How big is it now? Still bean-sized."
“It’s more like the size of a sesame seed.”
“That small?” he gasped, his voice rising in pitch. “That’s barely anything. Are you sure you’re even pregnant? A sesame seed. That’s crazy.”
I swung the front door open and just managed to grab my phone before it slipped out of my grip. “I know, right? I’ve basically got a—”
My heart did a somersault in my chest.
Alex was standing in my driveway, his hands in his pockets, his gaze on the California sycamore towering over my driveway.
“I have to go,” I mumbled softly into the speaker and ended the call before Danny had a chance to reply.
Slipping the phone into my back pocket, I stepped down onto the path, very aware that Alex hadn’t noticed me yet. Good. Sneaking out was still an option. One that would’ve worked perfectly if his car wasn’t parked right behind mine.
Well played, Alex. Well played.
He shifted his weight onto his right foot, remaining unaware that I was watching him, checking out his broad shoulders in that blue work shirt of his and wondering what the hell he was doing at my house. . again.
Maybe he was just lost. Maybe his car had broken down on his way out of St. Helena, and my house was an easy place to stop for help.
None of those explanations seemed likely.
No wonder my palms were starting to sweat and pressure was building up behind my ribs—none of which had anything to do with the gynecologist appointment I was heading to.
Deciding that watching him while he studied the tree was getting too creepy, I closed the door a little harder than I usually would.
Alex swiveled on the spot, his gaze meeting mine.
“You really have to stop dropping by unannounced,” I said when I reached him, tugging the strap of my handbag up my shoulder.
He smiled, and it reached his eyes, lightning them up like molten gold. “I would’ve called, but I know you have a habit of not answering my calls.”
Guilty as charged. Two weeks had come and gone since Alex had shown up uninvited at my door, proclaiming he wanted to be a part of the baby’s life. In my defense, I’d spent most of that time trying to figure out how to include Alex in my life without actually including him. So far, I’d come up with zilch.
“I assume Becks told you I was here,” I said, well aware of the saltiness in my voice. Half of it was directed at Alex and the other half at Becks. For a best friend, she was doing a really crappy job at keeping my interests at heart.
“She did,” Alex said, his lips still tipping upwards. “Apparently, you’ve got your first appointment with the gynecologist today.”
I blew out a breath. I couldn’t even fume about it because this was his baby too. It was only fair—though fair would’ve been if I could share some of the morning sickness with him. I was getting really sick—excuse the pun—of not keeping down my breakfast, and had to keep reminding myself there were women out there who experienced the stomach-churning, bile rising sensation all day.
“I’m going to kill Becks.”
Alex chuckled, though it wasn’t as light as before, and I wondered if it would ever be again. If the news of the baby was the reason his laugh sounded so heavy, as if he was carrying a suitcase of worries. A baby was probably one of the biggest worries of all time.
“Give her some slack. She’s just worried about you.”
“There’s no reason for her to be worried. I’m perfectly fine,” I lied and covered up the poor attempt by checking my watch. The appointment was set for ten a.m., and it was a quarter to already. “I’ve got to go.”
He stepped forward at the same time I did, blocking my path, the fingers of his right hand twitching as if he were prepared to grab my wrist if I decided to run away.
The thought had crossed my mind—running to the end of the block and calling a Lyft.
But then, there was also the thought of his hand on mine, the soft touch of his fingers.
“I want to join you for the appointment,” he said.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I started, but then cut myself off. My reasons felt inadequate—nothing more than the simple truth: We don’t know each other, Alex. We’re basically strangers. It was a mistake, and now we’re paying for it. They just didn’t seem good enough to keep Alex away from the first ultrasound.
Taking a breath in, I sighed loudly and flicked my head to my car. “I’ll drive.”
“My car’s parked behind yours,” pointed out Alex, that smart smirk on his face both hot and annoying. “I think it's best I drive.”
My eyes locked with his, filled with a mix of disbelief and annoyance. Of course someone as conceited and arrogant as Dr. Hottie thought that the world revolved around him. But then, Becky's words echoed in my mind - for the sake of the baby, I should give Alex a chance.
My heart was torn between my own feelings and what may be best for my child.
“Fine,” I huffed. “But only because it’ll take valuable minutes to swap cars and I don’t want to be late.”
He nodded and was just about to head to the passenger seat to open the door when I beat him to it. The leather seat was smooth and cold beneath my legs. It still had that new car smell.
You’d never think it had been involved in a fender bender once upon a time.
Alex climbed in right after and closed the door behind him. He glanced my way, smiled—I swear my heart couldn’t beat any faster—and put the car in reverse.
“You know this doesn’t mean anything, right?” I said while we drove along the street, houses with their front gardens spilling on the sidewalk passing by slowly.
Alex’s eyes flickered in my direction and back to the road. “In a way, it does. This is a continuation of what I said to you the other day. I want to be involved. If that means driving from Santa Rosa every few weeks, when you have a scan, then so be it.”
“I could just send you a picture of the ultrasound.”
“I want to be there,” he said firmly, his tone leaving no room for doubt. “It’s important to me. If there’s one thing you need to know about me, Sophie, is that I don’t do anything halfheartedly. And I plan to be there for every step of this pregnancy and thereafter.” He cleared his throat and flicked on the indicator. “If you’ll allow it, of course.”
I said nothing in response. My tongue felt glued to the roof of my mouth, and too many thoughts swirled in my head like a flock of angry birds: Vicki and whether she ever dreamed of having children, Alex’s feelings about it, and their failed engagement.
So many questions to ask. So many answers to process, yet I glanced out the window and kept quiet.
The gynecologist's office wasn't far. A five-minute drive at best.
Alex pulled into the small parking lot and I prepared to get out of the car. This time, he beat me to it and opened my door before I had the chance. Stepping out, my fluttering heartbeat was replaced by heavy nerves in my stomach.
“Let’s get this over with.”
The ultrasound probe moved across my belly.
The gel was cold but not uncomfortable, not nearly as uncomfortable as Alex’s gaze on the screen, which had moments ago flickered to life.
There was a twitch in his jaw, and he sat so ramrod straight that it looked like his spine had been fused. If we’d been a married couple or at least dating, I would’ve laid a hand on his knee, which was bobbing up and down, and said, “Calm down.”
“Alright, let’s see how things are looking.” Dr. Sims smiled. She had chestnut brown hair and curtain bangs and eyes as green as olives. A bit young, not that I minded. She came highly recommended by Caleb’s sister, who already had three beautiful kids.
“It’s still a bit early to hear the heartbeat,” said Dr. Sims. “That usually happens around seven weeks or so, and based on this, you’re about six weeks along.” As she moved the wand to the right, she paused and smiled a little wider. “It looks like there are two gestational sacs.”
“Two what?” I blurted, my body breaking out into a sweat, my heart feeling as if someone had punched it over and over again. “What does that mean?”
Although I knew exactly what that meant. Yet another unforeseen problem.
Alex beat the doctor to it. “It’s a strong indicator of twins.” His face was expressionless, his eyes unblinking, and his fingers interlaced, his knuckles white.
Dr. Sims nodded. “It appears so. We can’t see much more at this early stage, but the presence of two sacs suggests that you’re likely expecting twins.”
I squinted at the screen, trying to make sense of the fuzzy gray image. There were in fact two small sacs, basically two dark spots in an ocean of gray.
Dr. Sims removed the wand and wiped the last of the gel off my belly. “It’s a lot to take in, but it’s also early days. We’ll schedule another appointment for nine weeks and keep monitoring things closely after that.”
“Thank you,” I mumbled, barely able to breathe. The room was feeling way too small, as if everything was pushing in, as if I was about to be trapped in a tiny box with the weight of the news pressing down on me.
I wanted to scream.
Heck, I wanted Alex to scream, to storm out of the room shouting that he hadn’t signed up for twins. That a single, lonely baby had seemed way more manageable, way more controllable, and that he couldn’t possibly be involved now. But Alex only sat there, as still as a statue—the hot Grecian kind—, his mind probably exploding.
What was he thinking? What thoughts were running through his mind? A Parent Trap kind of situation.
I’d get the reserved, soft-spoken Annie, and Alex would get the tomboy Hallie—a perfect solution. Except I could never bring myself to say goodbye to one of my babies, even if I was nowhere near prepared to give birth to two.
“Take your time getting dressed,” said Dr. Sims, turning off the machine. “I’ll schedule your next appointment.” She then left, the door clicking shut behind her.
Two babies.
Twins.
Ha. Ha. Funny world. Good one. Now that you’ve had your sick joke, how about changing that screen, and showing me one gestational sac instead?
I stole a glance in Alex’s direction. He was still silent, his head on the screen even though it was turned off and blank.
Taking a deep breath in, I pulled down my top to cover my belly and shifted over to the side of the bed. “You don’t have to be a part of this if you don’t want to, Alex,” I said, not sure why I was still trying to coax him out of it when he had made it clear he wanted to be involved.
“I know it’s a lot to—”
“No,” he interrupted, shaking his head. “I want to, alright? I really do, Sophie. It takes two people to make a baby . . . babies,” he corrected and then slid his hand over mine to tangle our fingers together. “I would never be able to live with myself if I walked away. I am already in love with our babies,” he said, his voice trembling slightly as he spoke. As he leaned in to kiss my hand, I saw the tell-tale signs of tears forming in his eyes.
Every inch of me was suddenly on fire. I wanted to bury my hot face in my palms, but Alex’s hand still swallowed mine, and I had to relent.
“What about Vicki?”
Alex swallowed hard. He looked down at his fingers and said, "We don't tell her yet."
Relief was an understatement. I could barely consider telling Vicki. Hey, I’m pregnant with twins, can you believe it? And what’s crazier is that I’m pregnant by your ex-fiancé. “Okay.”
“Okay?” he asked. “Are you saying okay to not telling Vicki about the pregnancy or to me being involved?”
“To both,” I muttered softly as the door opened once more and the doctor popped her head into the room.
“All good here?” she asked, her curtain bangs falling into her eyes.
“All good,” Alex and I said at the exact same time.