11. Edward #2
Each step through the manor's corridors felt like walking away from the man I'd been and toward someone I didn't yet know how to be.
The weight of portraits—generations of Grosvenors who'd chosen duty over desire—seemed to press down on my shoulders.
But with Lili's hand in mine, their disapproval felt like a small price to pay for this moment of absolute clarity.
The walk through the manor felt endless, each step echoing in the vast, dimly lit corridors. Every shadow seemed to stretch longer than the last, and every corner whispered the possibility of interruption.
But somehow, we made it to my chambers without encountering another soul. It was as if the house itself was conspiring to give us this moment, this stolen fragment of time where the world outside ceased to exist.
Lili’s hand brushed against mine as we turned the final corner, her touch electric even through the thin fabric of her glove.
I felt the weight of her gaze on me, though I didn’t dare look at her.
Not yet. The air was thick with unspoken words, with the tension of what we both knew was about to happen.
When the door to my chambers finally closed behind us, the world narrowed to just this—her hands on my chest, my mouth on her throat, the soft sounds she made when I found that sensitive spot beneath her ear.
Her skin was warm, her scent intoxicating, a mix of jasmine and vanilla.
I could feel her heartbeat beneath my palms, steady yet quickened, mirroring my own.
“Are you certain?”I asked, pulling back just enough to search her eyes. The question wasn’t just about this moment, but about everything it implied. About the risks, the consequences, the way our lives were tangled in a web neither of us could fully untangle.
Lili’s smile was soft, vulnerable, and absolutely devastating.“I’ve never been more certain of anything,”she whispered, her voice steady despite the tremor in her hands as they rested on my shoulders.“Show me what real feels like.”
Her words were a challenge, a plea, and a promise all at once.
They hung in the air between us, heavy with meaning. I didn’t know if I could give her what she was asking for—what she deserved—but I knew I had to try.
“Let me see you,”she murmured, her breath warm against my neck.“All of you.”
I closed my eyes, letting her hands guide me.Her touch was a balm, a reminder that I wasn’t alone in this. That maybe, just maybe, I didn’t have to carry it all by myself anymore.
When I kissed her, it was with the desperate hunger of someone who’d been starving without knowing it. My lips pressed against hers, demanding and tender all at once. She met me with equal fervor, her hands tangling in my hair, pulling me closer as if she could erase the distance between us.
Her taste was addictive, a mix of sweetness and something darker, something that spoke to the depths of her soul. I kissed her deeper, my hands roaming over her body, memorizing every curve, every dip, every place where her skin met mine.
She pulled back slightly, her eyes searching mine, as if asking for permission to go further. I nodded, my breath ragged, and she smiled, a smile that held both triumph and surrender.
Her hands moved to my jacket, unbuttoning it slowly, deliberately. I let her take the lead, watching as she slid it off my shoulders and let it fall to the floor.
Her fingers trailed down my chest, pausing at the scars that marred my skin, the reminders of battles fought and won, of losses endured.
“You’re beautiful,”she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.
I almost laughed at that, but the sound caught in my throat. Beautiful wasn’t a word I’d ever associated with myself.
Strong, maybe. Ruthless, certainly. But beautiful? That was hers, not mine.
Her hands moved lower, unbuckling my belt, unzipping my trousers.
I stood there, frozen, as she pushed them down my legs, her touch never wavering, never faltering. When she looked up at me, her eyes were dark with desire, but there was something else there too—something softer, more tender.
I stepped out of my trousers, feeling exposed in a way I hadn’t in years. Not just physically, but emotionally.
Lili’s gaze was a weight, a comfort, a challenge. She saw me, truly saw me, and somehow, that made me feel vulnerable.
She stepped closer, her hands sliding up my thighs, over my hips, until she was pressed against me, her body a perfect fit against mine. I groaned, my head falling back as her lips found the hollow of my throat, her teeth grazing my skin in a way that made my knees weak.
“Lili,”I breathed, her name a plea, a warning, and a surrender.
She pulled back, her eyes locking with mine.“Tell me what you want,”she demanded, her voice low and husky.
I hesitated, the words sticking in my throat. Wanting was dangerous, especially for someone like me. Wanting meant vulnerability, and risk. But standing there, with her hands on my body and her eyes burning into mine, I couldn’t lie.
“You,”I said, the word barely audible.“I want you.”
Her smile was triumphant, and she kissed me again, her hands moving between us, finding me, stroking me with a touch that was both firm and gentle.
I groaned into her mouth, my hands gripping her hips as she moved against me, her body a rhythm that matched my own.
I lifted her then, pressing her against the wall, her legs wrapping around my waist as I kissed her desperately, hungrily.
Her hands were in my hair, her nails digging into my scalp, and I knew I should slow down, should savor this, but I couldn’t.
The need was too great, the desire too overwhelming.
She broke the kiss, gasping for breath, her eyes half-lidded as she looked at me.“Now,”she whispered.“I need you now.”
I didn’t need to be told twice. I carried her to the bed, laying her down gently, though my hands were anything but gentle as they roamed over her body, shedding her clothes piece by piece.
Her dress fell to the floor, followed by her stockings, until she was naked before me, her skin glowing in the dim light of the room.
She was perfection, every inch of her, and I drank her in, my eyes tracing the lines of her body, the curve of her breasts, the dip of her waist, the swell of her hips. She was a work of art, and I was both humbled and exhilarated to be the one to touch her.
I kissed her again, my hands moving between her legs, finding her wet and ready for me. She moaned, her head falling back as I slipped a finger inside her, then another, preparing her, teasing her, driving her to the edge.
“Edward,”she whispered, her voice a plea.“Please.”
I positioned myself above her, my body hovering over hers, our eyes locked as I entered her slowly, savoring the way she felt around me, tight and warm and perfect. She gasped, her hands gripping my shoulders as I filled her, our bodies joining in a way that felt both new and ancient.
I moved slowly at first, giving her time to adjust, to feel every inch of me.
But she met each thrust with one of her own, her hips rising to meet mine, urging me deeper, harder, faster.
I obliged, my movements becoming more urgent, more desperate. The room was filled with the sounds of our bodies, the wet slap of skin on skin, the ragged breaths, the moans that escaped our lips.
Her hands moved to my back, her nails digging into my skin as she climaxed, her body trembling beneath mine.
I followed soon after, my release overwhelming, my name on her lips as I spilled into her, our bodies still joined, still moving in rhythm.
For a moment, we lay there, breathless, our hearts pounding in unison. I rested my forehead against hers, our legs still tangled, our bodies still connected.
“That was — ”she started, but I silenced her with a kiss.
“I know,”I whispered, my voice hoarse.
We didn’t need words. Not then. Not with the way her heart was beating against mine, her hands still rested on my back, and the way her eyes searched mine as if looking for answers to questions neither of us had asked.
But as the silence stretched between us, and the reality of what we’d just done began to settle in, I felt the weight of it all pressing down on me. The risks, the consequences, the way this changed everything.
Lili must have sensed it too, because her smile faded, replaced by a look of concern.“Edward?”
I shook my head, trying to clear the thoughts from my mind.“It’s nothing,”I lied, though we both knew it was anything.
She studied me for a moment, her eyes piercing, as if she could see through the mask I wore, through the walls I’d built around myself.“We’ll figure it out,”she said finally, her voice soft but steady.
I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe that we could navigate this, that we could find a way to be together without everything falling apart.
And as we lay there—entwined in each other’s arms—the world outside felt both closer and farther away than ever. The questions remained, the uncertainties lingered, but for now, in this moment, with her in my arms, I didn’t have to face them.
Not yet.
"No one can know, especially Daphne." The words tasted like betrayal on my tongue, even though I knew they were necessary. Here I was, asking the woman I loved to become complicit in her own erasure from my public life.
The words hung between us in the pre-dawn darkness of the estate's rose garden, where I'd asked Lili to meet me. She stood beneath the arbor entrance, wrapped in her dressing gown with her hair falling loose around her shoulders, looking ethereal in the pale morning light.
The scent of damask roses mixed with her familiar perfume, creating an intoxicating combination that made it hard to focus on the gravity of our situation.
Three days had passed since our night together, and the weight of secrecy had already begun to press against my chest like a physical thing.