34. Finn
THIRTY-FOUR
Finn
PRESENT
Aisling
Let me know when you get here. X
I stare at Aisling’s text, my eyes tired and my body weary from too little sleep. I should have left the office hours ago, but I’m still sitting at my desk in a desolate building, hoping to tie up loose ends for a board meeting I do not wish to attend.
Tomorrow, I will officially become president and CEO of O’Connell Tours.
No more hiding under my father’s shadow.
I’m supposed to be writing a speech about how honored and humbled I am to fill his shoes and what a stellar role model he was throughout the years, but all I really want to say is that I’m a fraud—a complete and utter fraud.
Let’s be honest: I wouldn’t be sitting here without a little thing called nepotism.
Growing up, I was nothing but an entitled fuckboy who didn’t give a shite about anything. Except for myself, obviously. And sure, I could blame my daddy issues on some of that, but that shit only goes so far when you’re living in a bleedin’ mansion and driving a Mercedes.
I didn’t do a damn thing to earn my place in this company other than being born with the right last name. And now, because my father keeled over in a boardroom, I’m just expected to take over.
It’s like a modern-day monarchy, but instead of playing God with entire countries, we now inherit companies.
Fuck, this is depressing.
I text Aisling back.
Me
I just need a little more time. Will let you know when I’m on my way.
She texts me back almost right away.
Aisling
Okay. Don’t work too hard. X
There is a teasing tone to her last text, but I know she’s genuinely worried.
I am, too.
There are only two weeks left before our three-month timeline is up, and neither one of us seems to be able to bring it up. It’s like there is this giant elephant in the room, and it’s just getting bigger and bigger.
To make matters even more tense, Ash’s work situation is still up in the air. From what was reported to me by Nora’s superior, the team will likely be downsized after their six-month contract ends. They were brought on to lay the groundwork, and they have achieved that. Now that the new tours have been created, we have in-house staff ready to implement them. From this point on, Nora mainly requires a team member to ensure that everything runs smoothly.
My phone buzzes, and I grab it, assuming it’s a text from Ash. It’s not. Just an email, but as I attempt to lock my screen, I can’t help but gaze at the photo of Ash and me staring back at me. It’s one from our weekend in Clare, where I managed to get someone to snap a photo of us in front of the river she became so enamored with. Her arms are wrapped around mine, and we’re both grinning from ear to ear.
I open my phone once again, go to my photos tab, and scroll to the folder I have yet to unlock. I don’t know why I haven’t asked Rian for the password yet. Maybe I don’t feel like I deserve the memories hidden within it. Maybe I’m worried seeing them will only make it hurt all the more…
“Hey, Finn—” A knock echoes at my open door.
My eyes dart to see Nora standing in the doorway. I blink twice, surprised that anyone is still here. I put my phone down on my desk. “Uh, hi.”
“Sorry,” she said, blushing as she realized she had caught me off guard. “Sorry to startle you. I thought you might be up here, and I wanted to chat before heading to the site visit.”
“Yeah, sure. I didn’t realize there was anyone else here,” I reply, feeling uneasy. I can guess what she’s coming to talk about. “Take a seat.”
She does, and I notice for the first time that she’s dressed casually in slim jeans and a black jumper. She must have already changed for the event.
“I’ve been staying late for the past few days to finalize plans for my development team. As you probably know, their six-month contract is almost up.”
Of course, she knows that I’m aware. Everyone in the company knows that I’m dating an employee who is also a member of that team. You’d think Prince Harry himself was working here with how much they all gossip about us. “Yes, of course.”
She shifts in her seat. “Moving forward, we don’t think—” She pauses and swallows audibly. “That is, the team has done such a tremendous job that?—”
“Nora?”
“Yeah?” God, she looks like she’s going to hurl.
“It’s okay. Just say what you’re going to say,” I tell her gently.
“We’ve decided to downsize the team.”
I nod. I knew this was coming. “All right. So, I’m assuming you’ve chosen your person? Or persons?”
“I have.” She gulps, and I feel my stomach tighten. The fear in her eyes is all the answer I need. “I’ve decided to go with Shea and Niall. They’re?—”
“The logical choice,” I finish, trying to maintain an even tone. “I understand. From a financial standpoint, it makes sense.” While sponsoring a visa isn’t exorbitant, it’s still a cost. Add in the paperwork and the loyalty she probably feels to keep two Irish citizens employed, even I can see why Shea and Niall are a better fit.
It doesn’t mean I like it.
“Do you—” She pauses again. “I mean, is that all right? I haven’t told anyone. I can make adjustments if you?—”
“No.” I raise my hand, understanding what she’s trying to convey. “I would never ask you to do something like that. I appreciate it, but Ash and I will figure something out. It’s not your responsibility to keep my girlfriend in the country.”
She lets out an audible sigh of relief. Does she really think I would pressure her into choosing Ash for my own benefit?
Because I absolutely would.
The realization hits me as we wrap up, and she lets herself out.
If it weren’t for the fact that those jobs were going to two of Ash’s closest friends, I would have done it. I would have asked her to fire someone else to keep Ash in the country.
I don’t care if it’s wrong or makes me a bad person.
I would do anything to keep her here.
Because she will always come first.
I spring up from my seat and grab my coat. As I’m headed out of the door, I send Ash a text.
Me
Change of plans. Meet you at home, instead?
Ash will always come first, and it is to prove that.
Starting now.
* * *
Aisling
He isn’t coming.
He knows how important tonight is.
I shouldn’t be this upset, but I am.
“This place is incredible,” I say, turning in a complete circle as I admire the stunning view in an effort to distract myself. I’m surrounded by nothing but glass windows and glowing lights. The bustling city of Dublin ambles on below me.
Waaay below me.
It’s a good thing I’m not afraid of heights.
“Didn’t you visit here on your tour? You know, the one with Finn?” Shea asks, already helping herself a pint of Guinness.
Can’t really blame the girl. We are at the Guinness Storehouse, which is just a fancy way (in my opinion) of saying we’re at a brewery. Granted, it’s the most famous brewery, but still. Being here is a little bittersweet because it reminds me of all the times I sat in pubs with my mom, watching her down a pint of the black stuff. She would have loved this.
I shake my head. “No, we didn’t. And yes, I know the one,” I answer, rolling my eyes. You’d think my friends would grow tired of relentlessly teasing me about dating or, as they like to call it, “riding” the boss, but they haven’t yet.
Not in the least.
“What did you do?” she asks, and I gasp as I watch her gulp down nearly half her beer. She wipes a delicate hand across her face and somehow avoids smudging her dark red lipstick. She’s in full goth mode tonight. Tall, chunky black boots. Fishnet stockings. Her dress is short and reminds me of a Halloween costume I once wore when I tried to dress up as a witch. On her, though, it works, and she somehow comes off just looking sexy and fierce.
Meanwhile, I’m standing here in plain-Jane denim and a cashmere sweater.
“Whoa there, tiger. Take it easy,” I say to her.
“I’m nervous,” she whispers. Her eyes dart around, scanning to see if anyone heard, but it’s still early, and those who are here are still waiting in line for beer.
I still don’t know how we managed to pull off this excursion: a private Guinness tour at night. I think the only reason they agreed to it is that it’s for one of our themed tours (the boozy one) and will only run twice a year. That, or someone mentioned my boyfriend’s name, and they just rolled over and gave us whatever we wanted.
That’s happened on an occasion or two.
“I know you’re nervous, but trust me”—I snatch the beer from her hand and place it on the high-top table beside us—“getting drunk will not help.”
She gives me a lopsided grin. “It would make for a memorable night, though. Now—quit stalling. I need a distraction. Why have we been friends this long, and I haven’t heard this story? I want to know how you two met.”
“Ooh, me too!”
I nearly jump. “Where the hell did you come from?”
“My ma always said I came from Heaven,” Niall interjects, making us both laugh.
“Your ma did not say that.”
“Okay, no. She didn’t. It was usually the opposite. I was a bit of a shite. Earned it, though. What are we talking about? Oh, is this the Ash and Finn origin story?”
I roll my eyes. “You guys are ridiculous. It was the Heritage Tour. There, now you know everywhere we went. Happy?”
“What? Fuck no, we’re not happy at all. We want details, right, Niall?” Niall nods eagerly. They’re children, both of them. “Did you kiss? Was it like extra hot cause it was forbidden? Oh my god, please tell me you let him ride you on that bus.”
This is why I should have never introduced Shea to romance novels. Now, she’s hooked. She recommended a dark romance to me the other day that even had me blushing.
“On the bus, Shea? Are you kidding? When? When would we have time for that?”
“Uh, when it’s parked. Duh.”
Okay, she has a point, I guess. “No, we didn’t.” I roll my eyes. I can’t say it. The Irish and their weird ass slang. “We never hooked up. Finn kept it professional…” My voice trails off. “Mostly.”
“What’s that? You got a bit quiet there at the end.”
“We may have kissed.”
“Knew it!” Shea and Niall fist-bump as if their favorite team just scored a goal. “Remember, I used to know what he was like before he turned into the saintly tour guide.”
Saintly? Sure. I snicker to myself, recalling all the unholy things Finn did to me last night.
“Plus,” Niall adds, “you guys have been at it like horny bunnies in the office for months. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he might have stolen a kiss or two when he wasn’t supposed to.”
Are all friends like this? I’m a little out of practice, so I can’t remember.
The other day, when we went out for drinks, Shea and Damien had a lengthy discussion on the art of cunnilingus. He just sat there, wide-eyed, as Shea offered him pointers and even provided a visual demonstration.
At that point, I buried my head in my hands and started laughing my ass off. Because I think my friends are kind of weird. I also think I love it.
And that makes the idea of leaving ten times harder.
“It was only once,” I quickly add as if I’m trying to safeguard his virtue. “And it happened on the last day.”
“See? Just couldn’t help himself.” Niall grins. “Nice.”
“Don’t say it like that.” Shea shakes her head, giving his shoulder a playful shove. Niall chuckles, and I can’t help but appreciate the bond they’ve formed over the past six months. They couldn’t look more different standing next to each other, with Shea’s black-on-black vibe and Niall’s preppy, boy-next-door style. “You sound pervy.”
“So, that’s it? Just one kiss, and you went back home? I gotta tell you, I was hoping for more. I thought this was a grand, epic love story.”
I start to answer him, but Shea interrupts. “Nora is here!”
We all turn our heads as our boss arrives. The crowd is growing. Since this is a private event, we each invited a few extra people from work in hopes of filling the room and covering a few key guests.
“Should we go say hi?” Shea asks.
I bite at my lip. “Do you want to?”
“I don’t know,” she answers honestly. “On one hand, yes. But also, no? What if it’s bad news? I’m already feeling nervous enough.”
I place a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I doubt it will be bad news. You and Niall are shoo-ins. She’d be an idiot not to choose you.”
All four of us have been agonizing over this for days, even since we got wind that our team would most likely be cut down. The idea that I won’t be working with Damien, Shea, and Niall every day is heartbreaking.
What’s more heartbreaking, though, is the thought that I could be out of a job. Without a job, I don’t have a reason to stay in the country.
If I don’t have a reason to stay in the country, then I have to leave—my friends, my flat. Finn.
I could apply for a six-month travel visa, but once it’s up, then what?
She offers me a sympathetic smile, as if she’s reading my depressing thoughts. “I hate this.”
“I know. Me too.”
“I feel bad wishing for it when it means—” Her eyes shift from mine to Niall.
“We get it,” he says gently. “It’s not ideal. but we’ll be all right. No matter what. We all agreed that no matter the outcome, we’re solid. Friends come first.”
Shea grabs my hand, and I take Niall’s. “Wait for Kent?” We both nod. Damien is running late. Otherwise, he would definitely be here, stressing over his job, too. He recently popped the question to Erin, an Irish citizen, so unlike me, no worries about being kicked out of the country.
Speaking of marriage…
I scan the crowd until I find the person I’m looking for. “You ready for this?”
Shea’s eyes widen as her gaze follows mine. “No. I mean, yes.” And then she nods firmly. “Yes.”
Niall and I both laugh. “You sure?” he asks.
Her eyes soften, and she smiles. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
“That’s our girl.” His eyes light up as I turn to see where he’s looking. “And look, Damien just arrived, so you better go for it before she notices your parents in the crowd.”
Shea’s happy, dopey expression turns green. “Oh, god. You want me to do it now? Like, right now?”
“When exactly were you shooting for?”
“I don’t know—” She pauses before blurting out. “What about Finn? Finn isn’t here! I can’t do anything without my best friend, Finn.”
“First of all—rude.” I tilt my head in amusement. Seeing her squirm is all sorts of fun. “I thought we were your best friends.”
“Eh.” She snickers.
“Second, Finn is running late.” I hope she doesn’t detect the lie, because I really don’t want to talk about it. I force a fake smile, and she seems to buy it.
“Okay, fine.” She feigns annoyance. “I’ll do it. I’ll go propose to my girlfriend. But only because you guys asked.”
“Thanks,” Niall replies dryly. “We owe you one?”
“Okay, but first,” she says, her nerves kicked into high gear. “I need another beer.”
Oh, boy.