Chapter Ten
Delilah watched Hawkeye walk away and wondered what was going on.
She had only been with him an hour or so if her guess was right, but he was nothing like any of the men she’d ever known.
He was gentle, caring almost, with her. But not with everyone.
She’d started to wonder if that was just his way, when he’d come around the corner to where the big, hairy man had backed her into the wall and trapped her there as he told her all the vile things he wanted to do to her.
The roar that had come from Hawkeye when he’d spotted them had made her cringe.
She was ready to fall to her knees and beg him to hear her out first when he’d used her sleeve to put her behind him and had gone after the stranger.
Not that Hawkeye wasn’t a stranger, too, but somehow, she didn’t feel like he was.
He hadn’t even asked her side before he’d gone after that man.
Neither her father or even Warren would have asked her side, but they wouldn’t have been defending her.
No, she would have been punished for ‘enticing’ the stranger.
Not that she’d done anything but exist. Still, she watched Hawkeye and wondered if the punishment was still to come? Was he waiting until they were alone?
A shiver ran through her at the thought. She was used to people who had one face for the world to see and another in private. That was how her father was, and later she’d found Warren was the same.
Somehow, though, she didn’t get the sense that Hawkeye would be like either of them.
First, he didn’t seem to care what other people thought.
Or maybe she should correct that, he didn’t seem to care what anyone but the other bikers with him thought.
She remembered the way he’d jumped to defend her when the other biker confronted them.
She didn’t want him to get in trouble, plus, she’d learned long ago that the punishment would be easier if she owned up to whatever they thought she’d done early, apologizing helped, too.
Warren had especially liked it when she would beg.
She shook her head and pushed thoughts of her former husband from her mind.
No, there had been no formal divorce. She’d learned they didn’t need one since they’d never legally been married.
That had been a painful discovery. It had left her feeling both dirty and oddly free, even if she’d gone from Jericho, The Calling’s compound, to the place where Hawkeye had found her.
She popped the last bite of the bar he’d given her into her mouth and thought about what Hawkeye had said before going to the other men. It didn’t have to be her whole name. It didn’t even have to be her real name, he just wanted something to call her.
She liked it when he called her little dove.
It made something low in her belly flutter and warm but as she thought about it, she didn’t want everyone to call her that.
What did she want people to call her? Now was the chance to become someone entirely different, if she wanted.
But what did she want? Had anyone ever asked her that before? Not that she could remember.
Crumpling the wrapper from the candy bar Hawkeye had given her, she kept an eye on him as she sipped the water.
It was cold and refreshing, better than the lukewarm tap water from the warehouse.
She closed her eyes for a moment, letting her body revel in a little extra water. She needed it more than she’d realized.
She’d just finished the last of the water when Hawkeye came back. She watched as he approached but kept her eyes downcast.
“Hey,” he said as he got close, “Don’t do that.” He used one knuckle under her chin to gently lift her head.
“Do what?” Her eyes were nearly closed as she tried to keep from meeting his gaze.
“Lower your eyes like that. Look me in the face. Look everyone in the face.”
She hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was a trap.
Warren had liked traps. Slowly, she lifted her lashes and found him watching her, something that looked like curiosity in his soft brown eyes.
She struggled to keep from looking away.
Her face heated but she kept her eyes on his like he’d asked.
“Are you that shy that it embarrasses you to look me in the face?”
Delilah shook her head but couldn’t bring herself to say anything.
“No what? No, you’re not shy?”
She shook her head again.
“If you’re not shy, why won’t you look at me?” He tilted his head to one side and lowered the finger that had been holding her chin up.
“Because it’s rude. It’s disrespectful and I don’t want you to punish me in front of everyone.” She looked around, her gaze settling on the other bikers who had been riding with them before she let her gaze fall again.
“What the fuck? What did those assholes do to you?” Hawkeye’s outburst made her flinch, but she stayed where she was, refusing to back down.
She shook her head. “You mean the bikers? Not much. They slapped me around a little. I learned to stay out of the way and once things got wild, I would stay out of sight.” She shrugged. “It wasn’t that bad there.”
Hawkeye scowled, but she got the sense he wasn’t angry with her.
“Then who taught you that bullshit? Who punished you for looking at them?”
“My father first, then my husband.” She glanced up at his face hoping he wouldn’t slap her, or worse, for doing what he’d told her to do.
If he did then it wouldn’t be the first time.
Still, she remembered his large hands and hoped he wasn’t trying to trick her into giving him an excuse to knock her around. Warren had enjoyed doing that.
She saw when his eyes went wide as he stared at her for a second or two.
“You’re married? Do we need to take you back to an old man?” He scowled again. “You don’t have to go back if you’re looking to get away from him. Is someone going to come looking for you?”
She shook her head. “I was, but not anymore.” She tilted her head.
“Or maybe I never was.” She sighed. “I thought I was and that was what mattered.” She realized she was babbling so she took a deep breath and spoke once more, trying to only say what he needed to know.
“No, I don’t want to go back there. And I can’t imagine anyone would come looking for me. ”
“Not even your husband?” Hawkeye’s voice was soft. He ran the backs of two fingers along the curve of her jaw. “If you were mine, little dove, I would make sure you knew how important you were and that I’d never let you go without a fight.”
She shook her head again. “I don’t have a husband, not anymore.”
“Did something happen? Did he die?”
Delilah took a deep breath and wished she didn’t have to reveal her shame here, in the parking lot of a gas station. She kept her head down and spoke with little more than a whisper, hoping he would hear her and she wouldn’t have to repeat it.
“He set me aside.”
“He what? Are you divorced?”
She shook her head. “Apparently, there’s no need for a divorce when you aren’t legally married. All they must do is set you aside, and make sure you’re no longer part of the community, then he’s free to marry again.”
He blinked and stared at her for several seconds. “But—Why?”
She shrugged, “My husband got rid of me because I’m barren.”
“First, your ex is an idiot. It seems we have a lot to discuss, but this isn’t the time or place for it. We’ve got the basics. Anything else you needed to tell me? Anything at all?”
“I was going to tell you. You can call me Delilah.”
“Call you, huh? Is it not your real name?”
“It’s my name. But not all of it.”
“Okay,” he said with a nod. “We need to get out of here, so you need to put the helmet on.” He scanned her from top to bottom, “I know it’s a little too big. Putting the hood up before the helmet might help.”
Delilah didn’t know any different and it sounded like it might work. Either way, it would give her something to absorb some of the sweat if it was as hot as she thought it would be. She didn’t say anything as she lifted the hood up over her head.
“Here, try this.” He looped the strings to her hood together once, then tugged them tight until the hood was cinched around her face.
“Hold these in your teeth.” He lifted the strings so all she had to do was open her mouth, then bite down once he shifted the twist between her teeth.
“Now, let’s see if we can get this on.” He picked up the helmet and helped her slide it down over her head, lifting the visor so she could see him.
“You can let those go now,” he said once he got the helmet settled.
“Tilt back.” He lifted her chin and fastened the chin strap, keeping his finger between the plastic clip and her skin.
She thought he was trying to keep from pinching her, but she couldn’t be sure.
She sure as hell hadn’t known anyone who wanted to protect her before, she didn’t know why anyone would start now.
“One question before we hit the road.”
Delilah glanced at him and found his gaze hard and unreadable.
“What?” Her stomach churned as she wondered what he would ask and how much trouble it would cause when she answered.
“How long were you married?”
“Six years.” She watched as his eyes went wide then his jaw flexed.
She looked away. She didn’t want to see it coming when he hit her.
But the blow she waited for never came. Instead, he climbed onto the motorcycle in front of her, then with both hands hooked behind her knees, pulled her close again before he picked up the kick stand and started the engine.
Realizing they were about to be moving, she wrapped her arms tight around his middle and held on.
Being on the back of his motorcycle made her feel free in a way she’d never felt before, but it also terrified her.
Once they’d been on the road for a few minutes and she had a chance to relax she had enjoyed the wind, the feeling of freedom, and being able to hold on to the man in front of her without any expectations that he would want more.
Or at least he hadn’t acted like he would want more. Did he?