Chapter Fourteen
Delilah sat stiffly in Hawkeye’s lap. She didn’t know why he insisted she sit there.
It wasn’t like there weren’t other chairs, empty chairs, just a few feet away.
He had assured her several times that no one was going to hurt her, but Warren had said the same thing when they’d first been married.
In more recent years, it seemed like he’d looked for ways to hurt her.
Never big things, at least not physically, but he’d also done his best to destroy her self-esteem, her sense of worth and probably her life.
It seemed like he was looking for ways to get her to kill herself, to remove herself from being his problem.
As if she hadn’t been raised to believe that suicide was a sin.
Then again, she’d also been told marriage was sacred and for life.
In the time she’d been away from Jericho, Deliliah had discovered a lot of things she had been taught weren’t true.
At first she’d believed that the person telling her was wrong.
Then when faced with the facts in front of her, she’d decided her father, her husband, the elders, must have misunderstood or were mistaken.
The longer she was away from Jericho, the more she learned about the outside world, the more she came to realize that they hadn’t been mistaken.
They deliberately taught things that weren’t true.
That knowledge made her question everything they’d ever said.
Still, there were parts she’d had trouble shaking.
Like not looking men in the face. She didn’t know how long that particular fear would last, because at random times she found herself remembering to drop her gaze so she didn’t get slapped, or worse.
Hawkeye didn’t like it when she wouldn’t look at him.
She looked at him a moment, wondering what he was going to do with her. Was he going to find a way to get rid of her like her father and her husband had? Well, not husband but she didn’t know what else to call him.
“Stop thinking so hard, little dove,” Hawkeye’s voice was soft. “You said Delilah is your real name, but how about a last name?”
She shook her head. She didn’t want to bring trouble on these men. They had done nothing but help her.
“I’m going to get it out of you eventually, baby. Just make it easy and tell me.”
“Why?” She lifted her gaze to his face, hoping that he wasn’t as temperamental as Warren.
That was what she would call him. By his name.
Because now that she was sure there was no legal tie between them, she no longer had to claim any relationship.
The revelation that her situation wasn’t all bad made her feel lighter, even if it was all in her head.
“I need to make sure no one’s coming looking for you.
I need to make sure you’re safe,” Hawkeye said watching her face.
His gaze flicked past her to his president then back to her.
“I need to ask you a lot of things, things you probably aren’t going to want to tell me.
But we need to know. We want to stop things like what happened to you from happening to anyone else.
Did you have any friends when you were in Jericho? ”
Delilah nodded. “But I can’t ever see them again. I was cast out. I’ll never see or talk to my friends or sisters again.” She couldn’t help the way tears pooled in her eyes. She dropped her gaze and blinked rapidly hoping to keep even one tear from falling.
“You have sisters? Would you like to see your friends and your sisters again?”
She kept her gaze on her lap, she didn’t want him to see misery and pain.
“I’d love to, but they never get out of Jericho, and no one will let me in or let me see them.”
“What if we could get them out of there? What if we could make sure they were safe and would never have to go through what you have?”
“You mean being set aside?”
“I mean all of it. Being married too young, being treated as second class citizens, being used as breeders and treated as if that’s your only worth.
All of it, Delilah. It’s all wrong and while we may not be the good guys, the Fallen Angels don’t stand for people abusing innocents.
Everything I’ve learned about that place tells me that’s exactly what they’re doing. ”
“Married too young?” she repeated, not understanding. All the women in Jericho were married within six months of starting their courses. She’d grown up expecting it. It was normal, wasn’t it?
The man who sat across from them heaved a big sigh, drawing her attention, then spoke. “You realize that you are only barely legal to get married now, right? If his math is right,” he tilted the top of his head toward her and Hawkeye, “you were married at thirteen. That sound right?”
“Yes, of course.” That’s roughly when all the women she knew had gotten married, some a little older, a few a bit younger.
What he’d said before he asked about how old she’d been when she’d ‘married’ Warren finally clicked in her brain.
“Wait, is that why our marriage wasn’t legal?
Because I wasn’t old enough?” She didn’t know how to feel about that.
“Probably not,” Raven said. “I’d be surprised if any of the marriages, or anything else that happens in Jericho is legal. Do you know where you were born?”
“In Jericho. My father was one of Father Monro’s first followers.”
“And your mother? Who is she?”
“My mother was Father’s third wife.”
“Was?”
A lump formed in Delilah’s throat. She nodded instead of answering.
“How long has she been gone?”
“Almost two years.” She knew she should talk louder but she couldn’t bear to make the words more than a whisper.
Hawkeye’s arms came around her. She stiffened at first but when she realized he was just holding on to her, trying to comfort her, she let herself relax again and this time, she let him tug her torso toward his so she leaned against his chest. He loosened his hold then laid one large hand on her back and started rubbing in circles.
At first it felt odd, but she soon realized it was soothing.
Her lids started to droop. She went with it, enjoying the feeling of being safe, warm, and something she couldn’t quite place.
“What’s your last name, little dove?” Hawkeye’s voice was soft, as if he didn’t want to wake her, but if he didn’t want to wake her, why was he talking to her?
“Hammond.” She blinked her eyes open, remembering that she no longer had any claim to the name, that she didn’t have to tie herself to him if she didn’t want to.
“No. That was Warren’s name. Since we weren’t really married, I guess I’m still a Warrington.
” I decided if he didn’t want me, and we weren’t really married, then I don’t have to claim him either.
“So, your supposed husband’s name was Warren Hammond. Do you know when he was born?” Raven asked. She didn’t bother to look at him as she nodded that, yes, he had the name right.
“He was born in the summer, but we don’t make a big deal out of birthdays in Jericho, so I’m not sure the exact day. And I think he’s forty-six or forty-seven now. I’m not sure.”
“So he was forty when he married you. Forty to your thirteen?” Hawkeye asked, his voice hard. Despite how angry he sounded, the gentle calming movement of his hand on her back never slowed.
“About that, yeah.” She rubbed her face back and forth against the soft cotton of his shirt. She didn’t know what it was about him, but he made her feel safe and she loved the scent of him—leather, soap, and cherries. To her he smelled like sunshine and freedom. She could get used to this.