Chapter Sixteen
Delilah had no doubt there were a lot of things she’d missed growing up.
Not that she’d known it at the time. She’d had no contact with the ‘common’ world as Father Monro had put it.
He and the men in Jericho made sure none of the children, male or female, born in Jericho ever had any need to go to town.
At least not that she’d ever known. Maybe some of the boys went after they were older.
She hadn’t been allowed to spend time with a male she wasn’t blood related to after she was given to Warren.
Even then her brothers barely spoke to her.
At first, she’d wondered if they didn’t care about her anymore but one of the younger boys, Levi, had let it slip when she was watching him one day, that the older boys had been told to avoid her.
It was unseemly for a married woman to be spending time with young boys, even her brothers.
Delilah thought it was strange, but she knew better than to say anything.
Instead, she’d missed her brothers and done her best to be the best wife she could and had failed epically.
Now, she didn’t know what to do. She would do her best to survive in a world she was ill-equipped for.
She was a fast learner, or at least that was what she’d been told growing up, and she would figure it out.
She’d knew a woman had to earn her keep.
That lesson had started young. When she’d been a child, she’d taken care of her siblings.
When she’d gotten married, she’d taken care of her husband, and that had included letting him do what he wanted to her.
It was her duty as a wife to keep him happy, whatever that took.
When she’d gotten to the big building where Hawkeye had found her, she had discovered the women there earned their keep on their backs, or knees.
Often both. She hadn’t wanted to do that, and if she hadn’t slipped away from the crowd into the kitchen and started cooking, then she likely would have ended up doing the same.
But when she’d stepped up on a chair, and announced that dinner was ready, she’d gotten everyone’s attention.
By the end of the meal the man who’d been in charge, Shadow she’d later learned, had declared her off limits to the men.
Her only job was to take care of the kitchens, cooking and whatever else that entailed.
Delilah had been so relieved, she hadn’t even thought to ask for help.
She hadn’t needed it and she’d been afraid asking for anything would get her punished.
She feared punishment would wind up with one or more of the men doing to her what she’d seen them doing to the other women.
She wanted no part of that. She’d wanted no part of it when Warren had done similar things to her.
She didn’t understand why some of the women seemed to enjoy it.
“Did you ever know of anyone to go to the hospital to have a baby or when they were hurt?” The man who sat across from where she still sat sideways on Hawkeye’s lap asked.
“Only the men, and only if they thought they might die. Most of our maladies were treated by a couple of the men or the midwife.” She tilted her head and watched him. “Is that significant?”
“Possibly. We’ll have someone do some digging, but if what I suspect is true, then legally, you won’t exist anywhere.
I’m about ninety percent sure that’s how those assholes get away with this shit.
” Raven shook his head and looked like he was about to get up and start hitting something or maybe someone.
She didn’t want to be there when he reached that point and she definitely didn’t want to be close when he started swinging.
“Have you ever thought of having a different name?” Hawkeye asked a couple of minutes later.
She scowled as she thought about it.
“No, I don’t think so. Why?”
“Because if he’s right then I suspect all children born in Jericho may not legally exist.”
“What do you mean? Of course we exist.” She straightened as she looked at him.
“Whoa, little dove.” He held up both hands as if showing her he didn’t have any weapons. “That’s not what I meant. Of course you exist. What I meant is that the government doesn’t know you exist.”
She blinked and looked back down at her lap for a moment as she thought about it. She tried to remember if she’d ever heard anything about letting the government know about it when a baby was born. She’d been present for enough births—if it had been discussed she would have heard something.
“I don’t know. I didn’t know you even had to tell anyone other than family.
I didn’t know anyone outside of Jericho would even care.
Why wouldn’t Father Monro or the others want the government to know about us?
” She frowned. She knew it wasn’t an attractive look .
.. Warren had told her often enough, but she couldn’t help it.
“Because if the government knew you exist, then they might take an active interest in what was going on in Jericho. They could put an end to the bullshit and abuse going on there, especially the child marriage,” Raven said.
“I’ve heard you use that phrase before. I’m not sure what you mean.” She said to Hawkeye, then turned and looked at Raven, too. “I’d been a woman for months before I was given to Warren.”
Hawkeye shook his head slowly. “I’m assuming that in Jericho, becoming a woman means you’ve started bleeding?”
Delilah’s face heated. She dropped her gaze to her lap and nodded.
Her monthly cycle, and that she’d never even been late, had at first been a mark in her favor.
Her mother had said it meant she would conceive easily.
As she’d gotten older, after she was married and was expected to help during births, she’d wondered why she was never pregnant.
Month after month, year after year, never a single day late.
She’d been punished for it more times than she cared to recall.
Hawkeye went quiet. She didn’t want to look at him. She didn’t want to see his anger, his disgust, or whatever he was thinking. She didn’t want him to see her shame.
One finger applied gentle pressure to her chin, tilting her head up and turning her to look at Hawkeye.
“You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about, little dove.”
“I can’t do my duty. I can’t have children,” she whispered. “I’m useless as a woman.”
“No, baby, you’re not.” He shook his head slowly, never breaking eye contact with her. “That might be how things are done in Jericho, what those fuckers are teaching children, but it’s not like that everywhere.”
She tilted her head and watched him. “What do you mean?”
“Things are a little different in every state, but in all of them, no one is considered an adult until they turn eighteen. There are a lot of things you can’t do or can’t do on your own until you’re legally an adult.
Getting married is usually one of those, but there are some exceptions.
Some states allow marriage as young as sixteen with a parent’s consent. ”
She frowned. She knew several women who had three or four babies before they turned eighteen. She couldn’t think of a single one of the girls she’d known growing up who hadn’t been married long before eighteen. And she had been the only one without at least one child.
“But I still can’t have children.”
“I’m not sure that’s true,” Hawkeye said.
“But even if it is, it doesn’t matter. There are people who don’t care if they have kids.
There are people who don’t want them and there are ways to have children, even if you can’t carry them yourself.
Especially if you’re not stuck on them being genetically yours. ”
Delilah frowned. “I don’t know that word. What does it mean?”
“Which one?” Hawkeye didn’t seem fazed by her question.
He hadn’t acted like it was odd that she didn’t know.
She liked him a little better for that, because she knew most people outside of Jericho considered her strange.
She didn’t blame them. She was, and she was trying to learn how to live outside of The Calling, but it was harder than she’d anticipated.
“The one that sounded like your jeans. I can usually figure out what something means by the context but not that one.”
“My jeans?” Hawkeye frowned.
“She means genetically,” Raven said. She twisted around to look at him.
“Yes, that one.” Delilah said as she turned back to Hawkeye. “What does genetically mean?”
“It means related by blood. Your mother, father, siblings, they’re all genetic relatives. There’s more to it, but that’s the basics. If you’d like we can find more for you to read about it.” He blinked then watched her. “Do you know how to read?”
“I do. We all learned. I started teaching the younger kids when I was about ten.”
“Did you go to school at all?”
“When I was little. I was in school until I was about eleven. Then I finished school and stayed home with my mother to help with the babies and to learn how to keep house. I would only have a couple of years to learn everything I would need to know, so I had to work hard.”
Hawkeye’s gaze flicked to Raven then back to her. She didn’t know what she’d said but he didn’t like something. She hoped he would tell her what she’d done wrong.