Chapter Twenty-Three
She was so responsive, Hawkeye wanted to see how many times he could get her to come before she begged him to stop but decided it might be too much too soon.
Still, he couldn’t resist curling the two fingers deep inside her, hitting that spot that so many had a hard time finding.
Her back arched and she nearly came off the bed as every one of her muscles clenched.
Her inner muscles squeezed his fingers as she let out a high-pitched keening.
He sucked harder on her clit, milking her orgasm for every drop of pleasure he could give her before he gently slid his fingers from inside her and pulled away.
He wanted nothing more than to be balls deep in her right now, but she wasn’t ready for that. He’d told her what would happen, and she hadn’t agreed to it, not yet. He wasn’t taking that choice away from her—she’d had too few choices in her life already.
Instead, he forced himself to lie beside her, watching her and waiting for her to come back to herself.
He couldn’t help the surge of pride that washed through him that he’d done such a good job of showing his little dove how wonderful sex could feel that it took her several minutes before she turned her head to give him a sated smile.
“That was amazing, but you didn’t get anything from it. Why not?”
“I did get something,” Hawkeye caressed one side of her face as he watched her. “It just wasn’t the same thing you got.”
She frowned and he could tell she didn’t know what he meant.
“I got to watch you come apart, little dove. I got to taste you and, damn, you’re addicting. If I’m not careful, I might revise that rule about getting inside you.”
“But why didn’t you?” she asked, a crease forming between her brows.
“Because I told you. Once I’m inside you, you’re mine.
Once you’re mine, there’s no going back.
I want you to be sure before you commit to spending the rest of your life with me.
I’m a bit of an asshole and I tend to get lost in what I’m doing when I’m in the middle of a project.
” He tilted the top of his head toward the computer system on the desk at the foot of the bed.
“I don’t want you agreeing in haste then bashing my head in later when you can’t get me away from a screen for whatever reason.
” He gave her a lopsided grin and hoped she would find it endearing.
“That was amazing. I had no clue it could be like that.”
“Little one, I know it’s hard to believe, but it gets even better. It should never hurt ... well, after the first time. Or unless you like pain, but that’s different.”
“Like pain?” She frowned “I don’t understand.”
“That’s okay. You don’t have to learn everything in one day. Some people like a little pain mixed into their pleasure.”
“What do you mean?”
“It varies. Some it’s hair pulling, some it’s spanking, some it’s more hardcore. Something about hormones and chemicals can make some of the body’s signals get mixed up in the moment.”
“I—I don’t know if I’d like that.” Her voice shook and she looked away.
“Then we won’t do it.” He cupped her face, and searched her face, looking for any clue about what she was thinking. “It’s not about what anyone else does or likes. What happens between us is just that, between us.” Uncertainty clouded her eyes.
“But how can it be if you aren’t going to keep me?”
“Oh, little dove, I’m not telling you no. I’m just wanting you to give it a little time. I want you to be sure you can handle this kind of life. It’s a lot different than what you’re used to. There will likely be things you have a hard time with.”
“Such as?”
“I’ve already told you about the mamas. They’re not going anywhere.
There will be times when I can’t tell you what I’m doing or where I’m going, no matter how badly you or I might want that.
There will be times when we go on lockdown.
That means everyone holes up here at the clubhouse.
We’ve had some trouble lately and Raven is working on making sure the place is more secure.
Making sure everyone here is safe, no matter what happens.
” He smoothed his thumb over the apple of her cheek.
“It’s a lot to take in, and I’ve only scratched the surface.
Take a nap, then we’ll figure out what’s next.
Things always look easier when you have enough rest.” He waited, watching to see if she would argue or do as he asked.
“All right,” she said with a sigh. She moved closer to him, then remembered she was facing him and wiggled until her back was to him.
Hawkeye tugged her back against him then took a deep breath and forced himself to relax.
It took several minutes, but Delilah relaxed against him and after a while longer her soft snore let him know she was asleep.
He stayed there a little while longer, enjoying the feeling of her in his arms, as well as making sure she was well asleep and his moving wouldn’t wake her before easing out of bed and going to his computer.
He pulled a can of C4 from the dorm fridge he kept in one corner, cracked it open and got to work.