Chapter 6
Every minuteshe’s in that tub is sheer torture. I refuse to turn around. It’s bad enough I have her naked body burned in my mind.
I thought I could keep myself under control, but then I cut that fabric from her body and not even being right under the very church where I held her during her baptism could stop the lust flooding me.
She’s always been mine, but not like this. We were never supposed to be this. As soon as she’s safely under Nikolaj’s protection, I have to leave. I won’t risk stoking this new awareness between us. I won’t encourage her. And I won’t survive a lifetime of resisting her just to watch her with another man. I cannot bear witness to her having his children, loving him, building a life with him.
I’ve done it before. Her mother was everything in a woman. Beautiful, full of life, funny, kind, and I spent every day wondering how a person like her walked this world untouched.
Until Maksim broke her. Slowly, bit by bit, until that light in her eyes dimmed once and for all.
I thought Nikoletta’s mother was the love of my life.
Now—I have a terrible feeling I was wrong. I wanted her with everything I had, but that was the want of a man in his early twenties. A man who, despite the abuse he suffered, didn’t have one damn clue how dark this world could really be.
Twenty-six years have passed since she fell for my best friend—turned enemy. Never in all the years of watching them together did I feel an ounce of possession which takes hold of me now that I’m near Nikoletta again.
I want to punish all who desire her. The need to mark her as mine is a force sweeping through me. I want to spar with her in a way that’s loud and vicious but will be so satisfying when she succumbs.
Every bond born of a godfather and goddaughter withers away with the awareness growing between us. How appropriate that it dies in the confines of this fucking crypt. Fear—a feeling so unfamiliar—flourishes here. Not for me, but for her, for what will happen between us and the damage it will cause to her.
No—less than twenty-four hours and Nikolaj will be here. I won’t let it get any further than it already has. Once he has her, I’m gone.
The sound of water sloshing has me whipping around. Fucking hell, she’s standing there, shivering, water sluicing over her skin, every inch of her bared to me.
“A towel, Kostya.”
I mutter a curse and stalk over to the shelf just out of reach. “Here.” I hold it out without looking at her, but I don’t need to see her face to know what she’s thinking. Her amused laugh, the kind of knowing laughter women possess, it’s a part of her now and it is aimed at me.
“It’s just a body, Konstantin. You’ve seen them before.”
“Child, do not test me.”
“I’m not a child.”
This would all be a hell of a lot easier if she were. “You’re acting like one.”
With the towel tucked securely around her, she shakes back her wet hair and laughs. “No, Kostya. That’s you. You’re unbalanced. I kind of like this side of you.”
The way she reads me steals every thought from my head. So instead of saying anything, all that comes out is a grunt.
She reaches out and settles her palm on my back. Next thing I feel is her forehead leaning against my spine and her jagged exhale. “Everything feels right when you’re with me. It always has, but it’s different now.”
“It can’t be different, Pcholka,” I bite out, my throat thick.
“You’re mad, but it’s not at me. Maybe at yourself.” She pulls away then and I can finally take a deep breath, just to have her steal it away with the words that follow.
“My father sent me away and you just stood by and let him do it. How could you let him do that?”
Little shit. Like I had any choice in the matter. She’s not mine. Stalking to the door, I grab her bag and toss it at her feet. “You got yourself sent away. You hanging out with that stupid girl who liked to write all that fucking nonsense in that fucking journal about me. That”s why you were sent away—because of the influences around you.”
She jutted her chin and even though I stood a foot taller than her, it was as though she was looking down at me with that prideful lift. “The journal was mine.”
The roaring in my ears crashes over me like a turbulent sea. No. This is not—no. She’s—no. Just no. I can’t form a single fucking coherent thought and if I can’t even work this revelation out in my own head, we’re not going to hash this out here. Out loud. With nowhere to retreat.
“We’re done talking about this.” Every word from those lips leads to a dangerous level of awareness neither of us can afford.
“No. We’re not.” Clutching the towel between her breasts, she takes a step toward me. “It was mine, Kostya. I wrote those words.”
My fucking body is already reacting. Blood charges through me with every step. Despite averting my gaze, my eyes defy me and swing right back to her. “No. You have a crush. Nothing more.”
“And what do you have? I felt you tonight. You were hard. You wanted?—”
“No! I will not hear it.”
“You will! We may be forced to hole up in this crypt, but I will not hide from you for one more minute. Do you hear me? I never wanted to.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m the one who wanted you. Dreamed about you. You”re still the one I fantasize about. You”re the man I was dancing for on that stage tonight and I didn”t even know you were in the crowd. Every move, every touch, every sway of my hips was me escaping those roving eyes into the fantasy of you. Of us.”
My chest heaves with the force I exert to stay rooted right to this spot. Tension skitters between us. I start pacing, hunched over, the candles flickering from the air I displace with every pass. Flexing my fingers, I do everything I can to keep my hands off her.
“You watched me. I bet you never took your eyes off me. Remember what you saw on that stage tonight and call me a liar. I dare you.”
I’ve never been easy to shake. But tonight, I unravel with her verbal assault. Whipping around, I snarl at her like the caged animal I’ve turned into from being stuck in this tomb with her. “I’ve kept my vow. I’ve never done anything but honor you.”
“Yes, you and that maddening honor. I’m an adult now so who are you holding on to that honor for? Me? My father? Or do you have a death grip on that honor to protect yourself?”
“You’re barely an adult, and your recklessness makes you even younger than that.”
“I seem to remember stories about someone reckless. A legend. And despite all the risk he took, he’s still standing right here before me.”
“I’m not a wo?—”
She shoots her hand up between us and cocks her head with attitude. “Don’t finish that. Don’t you dare condescend to me because I’m a woman. I don’t need a man telling me what to do. I only need a man for one thing. And you’re the man who bought me.”
“A technicality, Pcholka. And nothing more.”
Her smirk slides into a knowing grin. “Are you sure, Kostya? All those young girl fantasies, all leading to here, to now, to us—alone.”
Truth tumbles in the space between us, leaving nowhere for either of us to hide.
“You don”t know what you”re talking about.”
“Then let’s find out. One kiss, Kostya. Just one. I’m an adult now and one kiss will leave my virginity intact.”
I sidestep her and make my way to the bed. “No.”
“You’re afraid.”
Jesus Christ, she’s everywhere. Relentlessly taking shots at my control. She’s absolutely maddening. If it wasn’t directed at me, I’d be proud. “It’s not right.”
“Says who?”
“God.”
“God? So what’s his opinion on the killing, the drugs, the illegal weapons, the whole foundation of our family being built on a life of crime?”
“You’re trying every bit of patience I have, Pcholka.”
“The same way you try mine.” Neither of us blinks as the air grows thick with the challenge she’s sprung between us. My knuckles turn white with the force of my closed fists as a war wages inside me.
She bites her bottom lip and drags her teeth along the flesh, a nervous habit of hers that looks a whole lot less innocent now. Now it only makes me want to shove my cock between those lips until she’s choking on every inch with tears streaming down her cheeks as she gags on me.
Her fingers unfurl from the towel and a strangled sound comes from my throat, making us lock eyes on one another.
“Hold on, Kostya. I’m about to try your patience even more.” Her hands fall away from the towel and just a mere second later, the terry cloth slides to the floor at her feet.
My control snaps under the weight of wanting. Any bit of resolve crumbles. I suck in a rush of breath, my shoulders swelling, and in one long stride I’m on her. Looming over her. Just one kiss. She’ll still be a virgin, a point she proudly made. She won’t be sullied by one kiss.
My fingers spearing through her hair, I yank her head back and drag her fresh mouth up to mine.
Slanting my mouth over her stubborn one, I plunder until my tongue takes command of hers with long, seductive strokes.
Blood rushes to my head and I sway on my feet as every taste of her only makes me greedy for more. Until I’m helplessly devouring her. A starving man who had no idea what wanting really meant until now, until she stands naked before me.
The helpless hungry sounds from her throat make my pulse pound behind my eyes as she leans into me, her full breasts pressed between us as I taste her over and over, her mouth imprinting on me, changing me, making it impossible to go back even if it’s impossible to move forward.
Warm and wet, she gives as good as she gets with that mouth, making me wonder who taught her to kiss like this. Was it some guy in Paris? Another student? Maybe a dancer? I growl at the image of her in some pathetic kid’s arms as he gropes her with no finesse, only reaching for his own selfish pleasure without worrying about hers.
In my mind I’m there, pulling him off her. Tossing him to the side and taking her for my own. Until I catch sight of us in a mirror. Her eighteen years to my forty-eight. The years etched on my face a stark reminder of who I am, who I’m supposed to be to her, and why this is all wrong.
“No. No.” I let her go and she stumbles away from me, the stricken look on her face tinged with humiliation and rejection.
Her parted swollen lips are too much and I have to glance away. This isn’t right. I made a vow to God. And yeah, she shot all kinds of holes in that promise, but what of the one I made to her father? Her mother? And now her brother?
This attraction has no life outside of the confines of this room. Now I just have to figure out how to control it because right now it’s controlling me.
“Get dressed,” I snap as I spin away from her.