Chapter 3 #3
Why? Because the fantasy of how it will play out between us lives in my chest like a second heartbeat.
Someday soon, Mina will look at me the way those other girls look at me.
She’ll blush when our eyes meet. She’ll stammer when I stand close.
She’ll stare at my mouth like she’s wondering what my kiss would taste like.
She’ll need me.
She’ll want me.
She’ll rely on me for everything.
And I’ll give her everything. I’ll be the only boy to touch her and love her and protect her. She’ll sneak down from her room at the top of the Montoni mansion into my room after dark, and I’ll pull her into my arms and into my bed, and we’ll kiss and whisper and touch until she’s mine.
Completely, irrevocably mine.
I just have to wait. I just have to be patient. One day soon she’ll realize what’s been in front of her all along. She’ll understand what I’ve known since I was eight years old and she was seven.
Mina and I are meant for each other.
But I’ve been waiting seven years, and my impatience is turning into an agony that I can’t control and can’t think through. It gnaws at my chest like something with teeth. Every day the pain grows sharper and the hunger gets worse.
Dark. Desperate. Demanding.
“You know what I think?” Mina says, interrupting my thoughts.
“What?”
“I think you’re too picky.” She’s grinning, enjoying herself. “You need to lower your standards. Not everyone can be perfect like you.”
“My standards are fine.”
“Your standards are impossible. Name one girl you’ve ever been interested in.”
You.
You.
You.
“I don’t really think about it.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only answer you’re getting.”
She sighs dramatically, throwing her head back. “I worry about you. You’re going to end up alone in that big empty mansion with seventeen cats.”
“I don’t like cats.”
“Seventeen dogs, then.”
“I don’t like dogs either.”
“Seventeen…lizards?”
“Mina.”
“I’m just saying.” She bumps her shoulder against my arm, because she’s too short to reach my actual shoulder. “You could have anyone you wanted. It’s a waste to just…not want anyone.”
I look down at her. At her bright eyes and her teasing smile and the ink stain on her jaw that I want to lick away.
“Maybe I’m waiting,” I say.
“Waiting for what?”
A boy from her school glances at her as we pass and starts to lift his hand in greeting. I shift closer, my hand settling on the small of her back. She doesn’t notice him, and the boy looks away.
“The right person.”
She considers this, her head tilted to the side. “That’s actually kind of romantic.”
A smile warms my lips. “It is?”
“Mm-hmm. In a tragic, lonely sort of way.” She pats my arm consolingly. “Don’t worry. I’m sure she’s out there somewhere. Your perfect mystery woman who meets your impossible standards.”
“I’m sure she is,” I murmur, my eyes tracing the curve of her cheek.
The Montoni mansion rises in the distance, all stone and iron and too many windows. Even from two blocks away, I can feel its presence like a weight on my chest.
Mina’s chatter slows as we approach. She’s sensitive to my moods, even when she doesn’t comment on them. She knows this house makes me quiet.
“Oh!” She brightens suddenly, as though trying to distract me. “I forgot to tell you. We started A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”
“Shakespeare.”
“Shakespeare,” she confirms, and clasps her hands together, practically skipping. “It’s so good, Cristiano. There’re fairies and magic and people falling in love with the wrong people because of enchanted flowers. And there’s this character, Puck. He’s the best.”
“Tell me about him.”
I don’t care about Shakespeare. I don’t care about fairies or enchanted flowers. But I care about the way her face lights up when she talks about the things she loves.
“Puck is Oberon’s servant,” she explains, gesturing expansively. “Oberon is the king of the fairies, very powerful, very commanding. And Puck does all his bidding. He flies around causing mischief and casting spells.” She drops into a theatrical bow. “I am that merry wanderer of the night.”
“You’ve memorized it already?”
“Just a few lines.” She straightens, grinning. “Puck says to Oberon, I’ll put a girdle round about the earth in forty minutes. Can you imagine? Flying around the whole world just because someone asked you to?”
“Of course.”
“You know what,” Mina says thoughtfully. “I think you’re Oberon. Powerful and commanding and everyone does what you say. And I’m Puck.” She bows again, sweeping an imaginary hat from her head. “Your loyal servant, at your beck and call.”
Something warm blooms in my chest.
“How now, spirit,” I say, dredging up the line from last year’s studies. “Whither wander you?”
Her face lights up. “You know it!”
“I studied it last year.”
“Of course you did.” She falls back into step beside me, fairy lights dancing in her eyes. “So if you’re Oberon and I’m Puck, that means I have to do whatever you say. Your wish is my command.”
The warmth spreads, dangerous and sweet. “That’s a lot of power to give someone.”
“It’s just how it is with Oberon and Puck.”
She starts to skip ahead again, but I clasp her arm and pull her close. “You’ve got it backward, Mina. I’m not Oberon. You are, and I’m your loyal servant. So command me.”
Surprise flickers across her face. For a moment, she looks at me like she’s seeing me clearly for the first time. All the yearning and love and dark desire that’s swirling inside me.
Then she laughs. “Look at you. You’re definitely Oberon.”
I release her arm. My grip was too strong and I didn’t realize, but how intoxicating it feels to hold on to her slender arm in my tight fist. I wish I could show her how strong I am, and how I’m worthy to worship at her feet and give her everything she’s ever wanted.
I could make her so happy. I want to be the one she runs to, the one she relies on, the one she can’t live without.
Sometimes, late at night, born out of sheer frustration, I think about what it would be like to keep her. Really keep her. Lock the doors and close the curtains and never let anyone else see her again.
I would take such good care of her.
All the Montoni power in Malus, and I want it for one reason only.
Mina.
She’s gazing up at me with a trusting, open expression on her sweet face.
“Mina,” I say, and my voice comes out rougher than I intended.
“Yes?”
Tell her you love her. Tell her you want her. Tell her you think about her every second of every day and you’ll never stop.
“Nothing,” I say, swallowing my hunger. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
For being the only person who makes life bearable.
“For doing my bidding, Puck,” I say, and manage something that’s almost a smile.
She laughs and curtsies. “See, I knew you were Oberon.”