Chapter 12 #2
She's looking at me like she's trying to figure out if I'm telling the truth. Like she's trying to decide if she should be angry or touched. "I'm fine,” she says finally. “I just—I needed some time alone. To think."
My heart thumps in my chest. "Have you? Thought about it?"
"I don't know what to think. Everything is so—" She stops, running a hand through her hair. "Complicated."
I take a step toward her. "It doesn't have to be complicated."
Her hand drops down, her expression incredulous as she looks at me. "Yes, it does. Romeo, I'm engaged. I'm supposed to marry Thad. My father has expectations. Our families have agreements. And now—" Her hand moves to her stomach. "Now there's this."
My gaze drops to her hand. My heart is pounding faster now. "This?"
"The possibility. Of—" She can't say it. Can't say the word pregnancy.
"Would that be so terrible?" I ask, moving closer. "If you were carrying my child?"
Her eyes go wide. "Yes! Romeo, yes, it would be terrible. I'm not ready to be a mother. I'm in graduate school. I have a degree to finish. I have—"
"You have me."
The words hang in the air between us.
Savannah shakes her head, hard and fast. "That's not enough. I barely know you."
"You know me better than anyone ever has."
She looks at me, and her expression is pained. "I know you make me feel things I shouldn't feel. I know you make me want things I shouldn't want. But that's not the same as—"
I can’t stand this a second longer. I close the short distance between us, cupping her face in my hands, my thumbs sliding over her cheekbones. I feel her tense, but she doesn’t pull away. "Say it. Say what you're afraid to say."
She shakes her head again. "I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because if I say it, it becomes real. And if it's real, then I have to deal with it. And I don't know how to deal with it."
Touching her, being this close to her—it feels like heaven and hell at the same time. I lean in, and I kiss her. Soft at first, gently, trying to convey everything I can't put into words.
She melts into me, her body remembering what her mind is trying to deny. I feel her lips part against mine. I can feel that she wants this, even if she’s fighting it. She wants me as much as I want her.
"Stay with me," I murmur against her lips. "Don't go back to him. Don't go back to that life."
Her eyes flutter open, and she pulls back a fraction. "I don't know if I can do that."
"Yes, you can. You're stronger than you think."
A short laugh escapes from her lips, her breath warm against mine. "I'm not strong. I'm terrified."
"Then be terrified with me. But don't go back to him." I can’t let go of her. I can’t—
"What if I'm pregnant? What if—"
"Then we'll figure it out. Together."
This time, she pulls back further. "You keep saying that. But you don't understand what that would mean. The consequences. My father would—"
"I don't care about your father. I care about you."
I kiss her again, deeper this time, more desperate. And she's kissing me back, her hands fisting in my shirt, pulling me closer. When my tongue slides against hers, I feel hers tangle with it, and I feel her helpless moan, lost in the kiss.
We stumble toward her bed, a tangle of limbs, my hands everywhere on her as I tumble her back onto the narrow mattress. "We shouldn't," she gasps between kisses. "Not again. Not until I—"
Not, ‘not ever,’ just ‘not until.’ I don’t fail to notice the difference. "Until you what? Take the pill? Make sure last night doesn't have consequences?"
She freezes underneath me, her hands suddenly pressing against my chest to hold me back. "How did you know about that?"
Fuck. I wasn't supposed to say that. "I saw the bag. On your desk."
She pulls back slightly, looking at me with new wariness. "You went through my things?"
"No. I just—I saw it. The pharmacy bag. It wasn't hard to guess."
She's quiet for a moment, and I can see her trying to decide if she believes me.
"I haven't taken it yet," she says finally. "I was going to, but—I don't know. I keep thinking about last night. About how it felt. About—" She stops. "About you."
"Don't take it." The words are out before I can stop them.
Her eyes widen. "What?"
"Don't take it. Don't erase what we did. Don't—" I stop, trying to find words that don't sound completely insane. "Just—give it time. Give us time. Before you make that decision."
"Romeo, that's not how Plan B works. It's most effective within the first 24 hours. If I wait—"
"Then wait. See what happens. See if—"
"See if I get pregnant? Are you serious right now?"
"Yes. I'm completely serious."
She stares at me like I've lost my mind. Maybe I have. I feel like I’m losing my mind right now, with her underneath me. I want to—I need to be inside of her again. I don’t want her to take that fucking pill; I want to fill her up with my cum again.
Last night was the first time I’ve ever been inside a woman without protection. The first time I’ve ever come during sex when I wasn’t wearing a condom. Hell, half the time I pull out even if I’m wearing one. I don’t want a fucking kid.
Until now. With her. Now I want everything with her. And I want to feel her again, hot and wet around my bare cock, taking me raw while I give her what I’ve never given anyone else.
"Why would you want that? Why would you want me to risk—"
"Because I want you. All of you. Every possibility. Every—" I stop, the words catching in my throat. "I want you to be mine, Savannah. Completely, irrevocably mine."
She’s still staring at me like I’ve lost my mind. "That's insane."
"I know." My forehead presses against hers. I can’t breathe. I need us to stop talking. I need—
"That's not how relationships work. You can't just—claim someone. You can't just—"
I kiss her again, and this time there's no gentleness, only need and desperation, and the overwhelming desire to make her understand that she belongs to me now.
She arches against me as I kiss her, her breathing coming faster, and I find the hem of her shirt, the button of her jeans.
I start to pull off her clothes, my hands seeking out skin, and I grab the back of my T-shirt, pulling it over my head.
I need to feel her skin against mine. I need to feel her.
I keep waiting for her to stop me, but I can feel her getting lost in it, too. My cock is aching now, pressing against my fly, straining to get out, and I reach for my belt, undoing my jeans with frantic movements.
Her legs wrap around mine. Her back arches, her breasts, still covered in her thin cotton bra, pressing against my chest. I can’t stop kissing her long enough to take her bra off, and I need to get inside of her. It feels like a living, building thing inside of me, a pressure waiting to explode.
I yank her panties down with one hand as I free my cock, and I feel it press against her stomach as I slide my fingers between her folds.
"Tell me you want this.” She’s already wet. I have my answer, soaking my fingertips, but I want to hear it. She whimpers, her mouth brushing against mine again.
“Romeo—”
I want to make her come first, but I can’t wait. I slide my fingers through her folds, back and forth, and her hips roll against my hand.
She gasps my name again, and I reach down without thinking, grasping my cock.
I angle myself against her, then slide inside her, and I let out a sharp gasp as I feel her wrap around me, wet and hot and tight against my bare, straining flesh.
She must still be sore, still adjusting to having someone inside her, but she takes me eagerly, wrapping her legs around my waist.
It feels so fucking good. Nothing has ever felt this fucking good.
I push deeper, burying my face in her neck, the sensation burning through me.
I could come right fucking now from how good she feels, and I slide my hand between us, desperate to feel her come on my cock again.
I need her. I need her to show me how mine she is.
Her clit is swollen against my fingertips, pulsing with heat. I roll my fingers over it, feeling her arch upward, hearing her moan, my cock thrusting rhythmically into her as I feel her pleasure build.
“You’re mine,” I whisper against her throat. “Your pussy, your orgasms, they’re mine, too. You don’t come for anyone but me. You think of me when you make yourself come. You imagine me filling you up when you touch yourself.”
She whimpers, writhing against me, her hips bucking as I push her closer to the edge. I can feel her tightening around my fingers, and I thrust deeper, harder, claiming her with every movement.
"I'll never let you go," I tell her, my voice rough with emotion. "Never. You understand? You're mine now. Forever."
I slam into her with that last word, fingers working her clit frantically, and I feel her bow upwards, her mouth falling open.
“Don’t stop—Romeo, please!” She cries out, and I don't. I can't. I'm lost in her, in the sensation of her body wrapped around mine, in the knowledge that I'm inside her again, that I'm—
I feel the moment she falls over the edge. Her pussy clenches around me, so fucking tight it almost hurts, pleasure rolling down my spine in an unstoppable wave as I feel her come on my cock. “Oh, fuck—”
I groan her name, thrusting into her as she comes. “I can’t… fuck, I’m going to come, I’m going to fill you up. I'm going to—"
And just like last night, the thought of it—my cum inside her, the possibility of binding her to me permanently—is overwhelming.
I come with a force that feels like it's tearing me apart, spilling inside her, marking her, claiming her.
I fuck her as I come, thrusting as I shove my cum deeper with every spurt, feeling her tremble and shake around me as the pleasure rolls through my body.
Mine. Mine. Mine.
When I finally collapse beside her, both of us breathing hard, I pull her against my chest, unable to let her go even now, in the aftermath. I’ve never wanted to linger before, never held a woman after sex, but I don’t want to let Savannah leave my arms.
"Stay with me," I murmur into her hair. "Don't go back to him. Stay with me."
I feel her exhale, long and slow. "I don't know if I can."
I hold her tighter, the stolen pill still in my pocket, knowing that I've just crossed a line I can never uncross.
But I don't regret it. I'd do it again. And again. And again.
Because she's mine now. And I'll do whatever it takes to keep her.
—
Much later, back in my own bed in my penthouse, I lie awake staring at the ceiling.
What have I become?
I've stolen her birth control. I've come inside her twice, knowing she's not protected. I've done everything I can to trap her, to bind her to me, to make leaving impossible. This isn't love. This is obsession. This is—
No. It is love. It has to be love.
I've never felt anything like this before. This overwhelming need, this desperate desire… this absolute certainty that I cannot exist without her.
I’ve never had to navigate anything like this before. My entire life, I’ve never had to fear emotion dictating my actions. But now, I feel as if I’m losing my grip on everything I’ve ever understood to be true about myself. And there’s no one who can fully help me through it.
Luca doesn’t understand. My father would tell me never to speak to her again.
I can’t burden Giulia with this. And if I were to tell Savannah how she makes me feel, the endless well of emotion that she’s unlocked within me, the need and desperation, she’d run so far and fast from me I’d never catch her again.
With Savannah, I'm someone I don't recognize. Someone who acts on impulse and instinct instead of calculation. Someone who's completely, utterly out of control. And I don't want to regain control. I don't want to go back to being the man I was before her.
That man was empty. He felt nothing. That man was just going through the motions of life without ever really living.
Savannah makes me feel alive. She makes me feel everything—joy and fear and desire and desperation and love and need and—
Everything.
For the first time in my life, I feel everything. I'd burn the entire world down before I'd give that up. I'd kill for her. I'd die for her. I'd destroy anyone who tried to take her from me.
She's mine. She'll always be mine.
Mine. Forever. No matter what it takes.
As I finally drift off to sleep, the stolen pill still in my pocket, I know with absolute certainty that there's no going back from this. And I don't regret it.
Not even a little bit.