Chapter 4 #2
Lukas
Jensen dropped down beside me to catch his breath, and I couldn’t help but take a peek at his dick. I wished that the others weren't around so we could mess around again too, but that wasn’t happening tonight.
When I looked back over at Rory, I noticed Skeeter watching me with amusement, obviously catching my perving. He thankfully didn’t call me out for it, but my face flushed at knowing he’d seen me staring at my best friend's dick.
Rory looked so good between the guys, and I could admit that watching her with Skeeter like this was hot too, but I definitely preferred it when it was just Jensen and I with her.
“You’re overthinking again,” Jensen mumbled without even looking at me, his forearm across his face.
“Huh?”
“If you want to join them, do it. Don’t let him freak you out,” he answered, moving his arm to look at me. “He likes to give you shit because you react, but he doesn’t actually give a shit about what you do.”
“I’m not there yet,” I said softly, looking away from him but catching Skeeter’s eye again, my flush deepening. He couldn’t hear us, we were being quiet, but I still wondered what he was thinking.
Could the fucker read my mind? Did he know I wanted to kiss Jensen right now?
He raised an eyebrow at me, and Caden glanced over at me to see what he was looking at. There were too many eyes on me, and I shoved to my feet to head towards the door.
I heard Caden telling someone to leave me alone as I fled the room, practically running outside into the backyard. The cool night air made me shiver slightly, reminding me that I was only in my boxers.
I dropped down into a chair by the pool and braced my elbows on my knees, taking my face in my hands and just focusing on breathing. When I messed around with Rory, it only made me think about Jensen touching me too.
How could I join in with group activities and remember to keep my fucking hands away from Jensen?
I thought it over for a few minutes, not realizing I had company until the chair beside me creaked as someone sat down and the smell of smoke hit me.
I looked over to find Skeeter there, his pants low on his hips as he looked out across the yard. He silently offered me his cigarettes and a lighter, and he didn’t look at me until I took one and gave them back.
“If you don’t want people knowing your business, then you need to work on keeping your thoughts off your face.”
“You don’t—”
“Shut up and let me talk,” he bit out, blowing smoke at me before continuing. “Stop caring what people think about you. Are you ashamed of Rory?”
I jerked back slightly, glaring at him. “Why would I be?”
“I don’t know. Why are you ashamed of Jensen?” he asked, holding my gaze.
Discomfort swirled through me and slight panic started to build, but then he kept talking.
“There should be no difference. I’m not going to coddle you, you’re a grown man, Luke. If your mommy still has so much power over you, then that’s your fault for not leaving. You’re not happy with her in your life, so get rid of her.”
“She’s my mom, asshole.”
“She doesn’t fucking love you,” he scoffed, his words practically stabbing me right in the chest.
“She does. That’s why—”
“If she loved you, she’d want the best for you. She’s only worried about what’s best for her. You love Rory, right?”
“Of course I do.”
“So you’d be fine with her slitting her fucking wrists? You could tell her that she’s wrong for being with the rest of us and she has to do what you want instead?”
“No, that’s not love,” I said slowly, looking away from him when I realized what he meant.
He was silent for a moment as I soaked it in and finished my cigarette, and I was starting to think he was done talking when he finally spoke.
“You wear your heart on your sleeve for everyone to see. I’ll keep giving you shit until you snap and fight back for what you want. I don’t need my girl being with such a pussy, so I’ll toughen you up.”
“I’m not a fucking pussy,” I threw back, making him scoff as he got to his feet.
“No? Then why were you pissing your pants in there when you realized I saw you looking at Jensen’s junk?”
“I wasn’t, I just—” I was cut off as he grabbed my throat and hauled me to my feet, my hands going to his wrist to try and pry him off me.
“Just admit it and you’ll feel better. You want to know what his cock feels like in your ass.”
“I don’t!” Tears burned my eyes, which only made him tighten his grip a little more.
“Don’t fucking cry about it. Calm down and just say it. You like him.”
“I can’t.”
“Lukas,” he said sharply, narrowing his eyes. “Fucking say it. You’ll feel better.”
I glared at him, my heartbeat slamming against my chest.
“Fine. I like him.”
“Wasn’t that hard, was it?” he said before letting me go, rolling his eyes at me.
The sick feeling in my stomach started to fade and I eyed him with confusion, waiting for him to laugh at me and make a joke out of it, but he didn’t.
“That’s it?” I asked, and he shrugged.
“That’s it. Good boy for being honest, you get a gold star.
Now get back inside, Rory and Jensen are worried about you.
I already told you I don’t give a fuck who you’re sleeping with, so make out with him in front of me for all I care.
” When I didn’t move, he sighed and grabbed my shoulder, giving me a firm shove towards the house. “Go on. Stop being a baby.”
I stumbled and shot him a dirty look before doing as I was told, sensing him following.
The house was quiet when we walked back inside, and Josie raised her eyebrow at us on our way through the kitchen.
“Bit cold, isn’t it?” she asked, taking in our lack of clothing and eyeing Skeeter. “Are you bothering him?”
I wanted to say yes in hopes she’d kick him out, but I shook my head.
“No, we were just talking and having a cigarette.”
“Tell me if he is and he’s gone,” she said without looking at me, and Skeeter chuckled as he dropped an arm around my shoulders, his skin somehow warm despite being outside without a shirt on.
“He just needed a pep talk, nothing serious. We’re going to bed now.”
“Don’t you have your own place? Or have you moved in too?”
“I have my own, but yours is so much nicer. Good night,” he teased, steering me from the room. Instead of heading downstairs, he nudged me into the bathroom and shut the door, taking my arm and holding it up towards the light to check the stitches.
I automatically went to pull back, but he held firm. “They seem to have healed nicely.”
When I stayed quiet, he reached into the cabinet and grabbed some scissors, making me wince.
“Does this hurt too?”
“A little.”
“God dammit,” I huffed, a dark smirk tugging at his mouth.
“Pain makes you feel alive. Might be good for you. Hold still.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and braced for the pain, but it was more uncomfortable than anything as he started removing them. I glanced at my arm, watching him work.
“Thanks for this,” I mumbled awkwardly.
“Don’t mention it. If you do it again, I’m dragging you to the nut ward myself. Got it?”
“Got it.”
He cleaned the area with disinfectant before dropping an arm around my shoulders once more and steering me towards the stairs that led down to the lower level. I pushed his arm off me, and I swore I could hear his eyes roll as I walked ahead to get away from him.
Everyone glanced up at me when I walked into the theater room, and a sense of guilt smacked me in the chest when Jensen went to come to me but stopped himself.
It wasn’t his fault I was messed up, and I hated that it was probably one big push and pull for him.
I gave Rory a quick kiss on my way past so she knew I was okay, then I dropped down beside Jensen, pulled the blanket over us, and curled into him. He hesitated before putting an arm around me, and it was like the tension bled out of me when he kissed the top of my head.
“You good?” he asked quietly as I heard Skeeter getting comfortable by Rory, and I peeked over at him to see he wasn’t paying us any attention.
“Yeah. Sorry,” I mumbled as I buried my face in his chest, his arm tightening to pull me closer. I didn’t realize how cold I’d been until Jensen’s warm skin started soaking into mine, a shiver rolling through me.
“Nothing to be sorry for,” he promised, tugging the blanket up a little higher so I was completely hidden under it. It felt safe, and I relaxed into him as his hand stroked up and down my spine.
Exhaustion started pulling me under, and I nuzzled into him more, pressing a kiss to his chest that made a content sigh leave him.
I could hear the others arguing about their sleeping arrangements, but I zoned it out and fell asleep, being too tired to give a shit.