Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Blaine
Standing in my new bedroom, in Matt’s rental house, I try to figure out how he talked me into this. Of course, Eden being here was the only thing really needed to get me to say yes. Matt likely thinks he’ll keep me on the straight and narrow if I’m under his roof.
I run my hand over the pills I shoved in a sock, hidden in the comforter lining. They’re insurance I tell myself. In case of a traumatic event.
“Need anything?” Matt calls out as he passes the room carrying Eden to hers.
He’s not letting her walk much, even though she has crutches. She keeps telling us she can. I’m not willing to risk her further injuring herself.
“Is that a real question?” I call back half grinning to myself. “Sex. I always need sex.” They don’t even bother to respond after laughing at me.
Matt and I had words about me going back to the pharmacy. I relented. I’m on Eden duty while he works on the Lassiter case. It’s not a hardship hanging out with my bestie. My heart.
I just let him think he was putting me out.
Guilt can work wonders.
He’s apologized three or four more times, for his behavior when we met him. I like Matt groveling. He’s fucking sexy anyway, add that and I’m a goner.
We hid the fact that Keir is awake and missing years of memories from Eden. I wanted to tell her. Matt said it would only hurt her more.
So here we are, waiting for her to find out and be furious.
I know better, but the balance between wanting her to be happy and wanting her to know the truth is a tough one. It’s only a matter of time before she finds out. Then what do we do?
I sit on the edge of the bed pulling my phone out. Giving a call to Caleb on the janky cellphone he’s put all our numbers in. “Hey, Buttercup,” I say as soon as he answers.
“That’s worse than Sunshine,” he complains before asking, “Did you call to do daily devotional with me?” Not likely. He’s kind of funny.
“Any word on Keir?” Caleb has been calling him on his room phone. The first call he acted like it was an accidental dial. Then in only a way that Caleb can, he befriended him, and they’ve been talking.
“He’s desperate to talk to his mom.” That’s fucking heartbreaking to hear. When he gets those years back… losing his mom, witnessing his girlfriend die, almost dying himself?
It’d break anyone.
“What do you say to him about that?”
“I use a page from your book and change the subject when it’s a difficult one.” Well, damn. Caleb can deliver a punch it seems.
“Well played, Honeybunches.” Caleb sighs at me.
“I get released tomorrow.” We all know that, but I think his reminding me means he’s at least a little nervous about returning to the Center.
“Hey, offer still stands to come here. For some reason Matt’s brother-in-law found him a bungalow with five fucking rooms.”
“Do you need to swear?”
“No, I fucking don’t but I fucking want to.” I bite my lip trying not to laugh.
“I need to go back to the Center. For now, anyway. Do you think they’ll send Keir back there?” I hadn’t really thought about it, but where else would he go?
I’m not even suggesting to Matt he come here. It’s too much. He fucking regressed to a fifteen-year-old.
I’ve been avoiding his room. I was starting to think of him as a friend. The fact he doesn’t know who I am anymore hurts more than I’ll ever voice.
“If you get a bad feeling about something when you’re back at the Wellness Center, call me. Call Matt. Someone. We’ll get you the hell out of there. There is plenty of room here. To sweeten the pot, maybe we could talk Matt into a pet for you. You like animals and shit, right?”
Another sigh.
“How will you ever become a child psychologist, when you swear like that?” I imagine the look on his face while he scolds me and can’t help the satisfied look on mine.
“I’ll be relatable. Anyway, we have Eden and a possible pet here.
What does the Center have other than a murderous freak and bad carpeting?
” I don’t want him back there. He’s too damn na?ve and thinks of everyone as a potential bestie.
Someone could use him to get to Eden or finish what they started when they shot him. It’s too risky.
Our conversation ends, my ear catches sound from Eden’s room. Light laughter and then moaning. I want to interrupt, but I don’t.
I know it’s only fair since I ‘helped’ Eden shower and things got heated earlier. Matt gave me a knowing look when we walked down the hallway half dressed.
It’s a strange dance right now.
A lot of things are going unsaid.
If I had my way, I wouldn’t share her. Not with anyone. But she means the world to me, and her heart has others in it.
Being territorial will only push her away.
I’ll have her to myself while Matt is in Pennsylvania for the next few days.
I keep telling myself that’s enough. To have that time and her attention, but deep down I feel an ultimatum coming.
Because as much as I want to imagine a way for us to live co-existing, I can’t quite picture it. Doesn’t she want to marry someone, have a family? How would that ever work?
Flushed face with an unmistakable glow radiating from Eden when I catch sight of her leaving her bedroom with a robe thrown on, I stop her.
“Were you talking to Caleb?” She bites her lip giving me a sheepish smile.
“Mhmm. Just doing the Lord’s work.” I wink at her. I’d love to tackle her where she stands, but I don’t want to come on too strong.
“He’s going back, isn’t he?” The smile drops from her face. “That scares me to death.” Her voice trembles towards the end of her statement. “You tried to talk him into coming here, right?”
I nod while walking to where she stands outside my room. She’s fucking intoxicating.
Her blonde tresses are in a messy bun on her head, her face bare of any makeup, and that plump bottom lip being chewed on. It’s like a naughty carrot. I wrap my arms around her and lay my cheek on top of her head. She fits around me like we were made to hold each other.
“It’s a no go. He’s determined to go back because he thinks he’s needed there. He prayed on it and everything.” I’m not trying to mock him, but the last bit is said that way.
“Well… then I’ve made up my mind. I’m not leaving the graduate study. If he has the courage to go back, I’m not running away.”
Nope. I hate that idea with every ounce of me. In fact, if I could encase her in bubble wrap and hide her away I would.
“Okkaayyy. Let me just point out that he has significantly impaired self-awareness. Always has. You on the other hand, know the evil some people are capable of, and you’ve had to live through that before. Why would you want to put yourself in danger that way?”
The irony is that I know her self-awareness is lacking to a point, too. She was letting someone strangle her for a good time. She won’t listen to reason about her own mental health.
Fuck, my argument is lacking on merit.
“B, I want to finish what I started. It’s just a couple more weeks. We can watch each other’s backs.” She runs her hand down my chest stopping right at my waistline. My impulse is to drag it lower, but this talk is too weighty to pull away from right now for pleasure.
“I want you to check in with me constantly. Don’t go anywhere with only one other person, stay in groups. Or if possible, keep Caleb in the vicinity. No opened drinks or food… Fuck, I hate this. I really do.”
Her sweet kiss to my chest and her reassurances aren’t stopping that feeling of dread blanketing me. I came too close to losing her, and she is jumping right back into the fire.