Chapter 12
EILISH
What the fuck am I doing here?
I stare up at the building looming over Central Park as the Uber I took over here peels away. Swallowing, I glance down at my phone, at the single text from Gavan that had this address.
I know damn well why I’m here. What I’m trying to wrap my head around is why I still came .
So that I can take your virginity, Eilish.
Like literally everything else where it concerns Gavan, I’m trapped at the crossroads of fear, apprehension, and excitement at the dark, beckoning unknown. It’s a twisting, electrifying struggle, one that I’ve been dealing with ever since the night he grabbed me, when I shattered the egg.
It’s a battle that was raging inside of me when I left his office today, after he put his mouth on me and made me explode. It was still raging when I got home and somehow got a through a conversation with Castle—about motorcycles, I think. Maybe.
And now here I am, hours later: showered clean, my body meticulously shaved bare all over, wearing another new lingerie set—this one dark green lace, and fairly transparent—under a simple green wraparound dress, with black heels.
Eager. Nervous.
Sinfully excited.
Is this the new me? The “I’ve looked death in the face after being blown up by a bomb”, devil-may-care Eilish? Do I really want this?
I know I do. Because again, I could so easily stop this. I could turn around, hail another taxi, and go straight back home, where I could immediately ’fess up to my crimes and shatter Gavan’s hold on me.
But I’m not going to. And it’s not because of the fear of what my family will say or think.
It’s because I don’t want to turn around and walk away right now, knowing what’s in store for me up there in Gavan’s penthouse apartment.
Or, at least, having an idea of what’s in store for me.
I take one last deep breath, smile weakly at the doorman, and step inside.
A huge guard inside who clearly works for Gavan checks my bag and waves a wand over my body, like he’s looking for a weapon.
He takes care not to actually touch me, though.
A dark elevator with sultry light brings us up to the top floor.
There, the guard uses a thumbprint reader to open the double doors.
Wordlessly, he nods, and I step into a dimly lit room.
The door shut behind me. Gradually, my eyes adjust to the dark.
Whoa .
Gavan’s apartment is… vast . Ridiculously so. Like, it takes up the entire top floor of the building. The whole place is decorated not dissimilarly from his office, but here, in his lair, it’s as if someone turned that “dark and masculine” dial up to eleven.
Soft floor lights dramatically illuminate the slate-gray stone walls. I step across polished, dark hardwood floors toward a living room area with an enormous wall of windows looking east over Central Park.
The furniture is all dark brown leather and deep wood tones, with brass and slate accents. Soft, thumping, sexy music murmurs from hidden speakers as my pulse begins to quicken.
“I was wondering if you’d show up, solnishka .”
My heart jumps into my throat at the sound of his dark, purring voice. I turn to see him walking down a dark wood and steel floating staircase.
So, not just the entire top floor of the building. The entire top two floors of the building.
As always, Gavan somehow manages to look both feral and immaculately put together at the same time.
His longish hair is shoved back from his face.
His stubbled jaw and regal cheekbones are as razor sharp as always.
He’s wearing a simple but elegant dark gray suit—no vest this time, or tie—with his customary French style dress shirt open at the neck, revealing a maze of tattoo ink across his chest.
My skin heats as his eyes sweep over me.
Hungrily. Darkly. Promising a night of sin and damnation.
“Would you like a drink?”
I nod. “ Yes ,” I choke out. “Please.”
A hint of a smirk teases his lips as he moves closer, reaching up to cup my jaw and my face.
“I’m not going to hurt you, solnishka ,” he growls quietly before lowering his lips to my ear in a way that makes my chest squeeze tighter. “ Unless you ask me to .”
Heat explodes in my core, my face throbbing.
“I like your dress.”
I flush. “Thank—”
“ Take it off .”
Desire pools between my thighs. A shiver tickles down my spine. Nodding, I set my bag down on the edge of a couch and undo the tie at my waist. The dress falls open, and with a burst of bravery, I shrug it off my shoulders to let it drop to my feet.
Gavan growls deeply in his chest, his jaw clenching as his eyes sweep over me. And again, as it frequently does when I disrobe in front of him, his gaze seems to linger on the scars on my thigh and shoulder. His eyes narrow, and a flicker of something I can’t read sparks behind them.
I can never tell if that anger I see in him when he sees my scars are because he views them as blemishes on what’s “his”. Or if it’s because they remind him of Leo, his former captain who ordered the bombing that gave these to me, who was also plotting to take Gavan himself out, too.
Gavan swirls his finger in the air. “Turn around for me.”
My face throbs as I do as he asks, turning slowly and feeling his eyes drag hotly over my skin. When I’m back around facing him, my belly ties in knots at the fierceness in his gaze.
“Come.”
He takes my hand and leads me to the staircase. He has me walk up ahead of him, and I swear I can feel the physical heat of his eyes on my ass as he follows behind me.
At the end of a dark, moodily-lit hall, we come to a stop at a door. Gavan opens it, leading me through, and my eyes widen.
Holy shit .
It’s a bedroom, obviously. But it’s also pretty clear it’s not his bedroom. Not the one he usually sleeps in, at least.
Virgin or not, I’m pretty sure this particular bedroom isn’t for sleeping in at all.
There’s no windows. At all. The walls are a deep stone color, and the only light comes from long strips of warm-toned but dim LED lights by the floor around the perimeter of the room. It has the effect of giving the whole place an almost sinister erotic feel.
A bed takes up most of the far wall—a massive four-poster made of more dark wood, with the posts and frame around the top all done in black metal.
Like a cage.
My eyes widen and my throat tightens as my gaze drifts around the room—to the small leather couch against the wall opposite the bed, next to the door I’ve just walked through. Then to the table full of… toys against another wall.
Whips and floggers. Handcuffs. Chains and ropes. Plugs of several different sizes.
Raw, sensual desire mixed with a heady nervousness floods my system as the door shuts behind me with a soft click.
Gavan’s hand brushes casually but possessively over my hip as he walks past me and sits on the sofa.
He turns to me, his eyes cool and impassive as he raises a hand and curls those two fingers at me.
“Come here, solnishka .”
My head buzzing, my breath coming shallow and fast, I walk to him.
“Stop right there,” he growls when I’m standing midway between him and the bed. “Take it all off except the heels.”
I’ve been naked in front of him before. I’ve had his cock in my mouth and his cum down my throat. I’ve had his mouth on me, making me writhe and scream.
But somehow, the stakes seem higher now. The intensity is jacked through the roof. Because, this time, he’s going to fuck me.
I’m about to lose my virginity to this man.
…and it’s a thought that has me very wet.
I unhook the bra and peel down my panties, stepping out of them to stand in front of him.
“ Good girl ,” he growls thickly. “Now, go to the bed.”
Oh fuck. Oh fuck .
I turn, shaking a little as I walk toward it.
“On it,” he grunts. “Hands and knees, facing the headboard.”
Jesus Christ .
My skin feels electrified as I obey his demand and climb onto the bed. My face burns hotly as I bend over, fully aware of his eyes on my most intimate places, completely on display for him.
I hear rustling sounds behind me and start to turn my head back.
“ Eyes forward, solnishka ,” he rasps darkly.
I shiver, whipping my gaze back forward. But I’ve already gotten a glimpse of him—now naked, the sultry lighting etching the grooves of his insanely chiseled body in the shadows.
Illuminating the massive cock between his thighs.
…The one he’s going to fuck me with.
Nervousness and arousal sizzle through my veins as I hear him approach me. He moves into my peripheral vision, and even though I’m still looking forward, my eyes are able to drink in the sight of his lethally hard body.
“Arms out.”
I shift, blushing as I lower my cheek and shoulders to the dark gray duvet and stretch my arms forward. It has the effect of arching my back and thrusting my ass up into the air. Gavan smirks as he grabs something at the head of the bed.
Before I know what’s happening, leather cuffs are clamped around my wrists.
My pulse goes through the roof. But I bite down hard on my lip, shivering as I feel him pull the chain tight that attaches them to the headboard.
He strolls lazily around me, and when I feel two more cuffs clamping around each ankle, keeping my legs wide and locking me in place, heat explodes again through my core.
His finger drags down my spine, teasing every vertebra until his palm slides over my ass. He gives it a swat, and I whimper.
“ Such an eager little fuck toy,” he growls, making me moan as his fingers move agonizingly close to my pussy without actually touching me there.
I shift, trying in vain to close my thighs. But there’s no hiding from him with the way I’m chained up.
Gavan chuckles darkly, making a tsking sound.
“Don’t even try hiding how wet you are for me, my little toy.”
This time, he boldly cups my dripping wet pussy. He drags a finger up my slit, and I choke as I gasp in pleasure.
He pauses, and I hear him sigh. “Where are my manners. I offered you a drink and never got it for you.”