Chapter 17
EILISH
When Gavan leaves, my heart clenches a little.
I liked that he was here.
A lot.
Neve frowns, and I can see the million questions swirling in her eyes. Just as she starts to open her mouth, Castle storms back in. His face crumples when he sees me, and he comes right to my side, taking my hand in both of his.
“ Fuck, Blondie,” he growls grimly, his head shaking side to side. “ Fuck .”
I smile wryly at him. “I told you, Castle, it’s not your job to protect me anymore.”
“The fuck it isn’t,” he grunts. “It will always be my job to protect you.”
“Well…” I wince as I try to shrug in an attempt to lighten the mood. “You can’t be everywhere at once, can you?”
His face ripples with a dark shadow as he glances up at Neve.
“I just got off the phone with Cillian. He and Una are getting on a plane right—”
“No!” I blurt, shaking my head. “No. Tell them to stay on their honeymoon. I’m fine .”
Neve and Castle both look at me with frowns on their faces. Castle shakes his head.
“C’mon, kid. the bravery is great, but—”
“I am asking you again: please call Cil back and tell him that I’m fine.”
Stay the fuck away from Gavan Tsarenko.
The next time you decide to be a Reznikov whore, there will be bigger consequences.
This all happened because I got involved with “the enemy”.
Me . Not Cillian. Not Una. Not anyone else in my family. They’ve all been through so fucking much already—all of them—before we’ve finally reached this place where no one’s trying to hurt anyone, or declare war, or trying to kill each other.
I not going to ruin that and bring violence and that danger back into their lives. And I’m sure as hell not going to screw up Cillian and Una’s much-deserved, long overdue honeymoon because I chose to get in bed…literally…with Gavan.
No.
Neve’s brow furrows. “Eilish—”
“Look, some asshole tried to grab my purse and I was an idiot because I was drunk and tried to fight him off. He hit me, I blacked out, the end. That’s it ! I am fine , you guys. It’s fucking New York, okay? This shit happens.”
There’s a cold, white look on Neve’s face as she glances away, like she’s holding something back. Castle frowns uncertainly.
“Castle,” I mutter. “Please.”
His scowl deepens, but finally he nods as he squeezes my hand.
“Okay, okay ,” he sighs. “I’ll call Cillian back and tell him he can sit tight.”
Neve watches him leave the room. When he’s gone, she turns back to me, that same white, scared look on her face.
“Neve?” I ask quietly. “What’s—”
“I…I need ask you about something,” she croaks.
I frown. “Okay?”
Her hands twist as she looks at me with a pained expression on her face.
“I wanted to wait until you were awake…”
“Neve, what’s going—”
“I love you, Eilish, you know that, right?”
My brow arches. “I…love you, too?” I smile as her breath hitches and tears spring to her eyes. “Hey, hey! Neve! I’m okay ! Look, it was just a mugging. I’m going to be fine—”
“The hospital wants to run a rape kit on you,” she blurts in an anguished voice.
I go still.
“You…” She starts to cry. “I am so fucking sorry, Eilish. You had signs of sexual assault when you were admitted.”
Shit .
This is going to be awkward.
I chew on my lip as I reach for her hand. “No one assaulted me, Neve.”
“Eilish, you were unconscious. And I am so fucking sorry , but I think you need to—”
“I wasn’t raped, Neve,” I murmur. “I… I had consensual sex ten minutes before I got knocked out.”
The room goes still and quiet. Neve blinks rapidly, her brow furrowing.
“I’m sorry, what ?”
I smile weakly. “I…I’ve sort of been seeing someone.”
Her lips purse. “Someone whom you decided to lose your virginity to?” she snaps.
“Yes. And?”
“And…that’s a big fucking deal.”
I frown, shrugging painfully again. “Maybe it’s not to me.”
“Eilish, are you joking? It’s always been a big deal to y—”
“Maybe it’s not anymore!” I spit back.
She frowns. “Wait, ten minutes before you were knocked out? Does this guy live above the bar or something?”
When I say nothing, her brows arch sharply.
“I’m sorry, did you have sex in the fucking bar!?”
I blush. I can’t help it. Just like I really can’t help the devilish way my lips curl up at the corners. Neve exhales with a whoosh, the tension visibly melting away from her face, replaced pretty quickly with a giant serving of “concerned older sister”.
“ Seriously ?” She says sharply.
“Seriously.”
She exhales with another puff as she shoves her fingers through her red hair.
“Look, I mean, get it, girl. Have fun. But…” Her brows furrow again. “This isn’t you, Eils.”
“Maybe it is now,” I toss back.
She groans. “Jesus. Well, okay. But at least tell me who the hell this guy—”
She goes stock still. Her eyes widen and she slowly turns to look at the door, then back at me, her face white.
“ Hold the fuck on… ”
I wince. “Neve—”
“ GAVAN ?!” she blurts incredulously. “Are you fucking serious , Eilish!?”
“Can you stop yelling at me like I’m fucking child!?”
“I’m yelling at you like I’m concerned for you!” she hurls back. “Eilish, ever since the explosion, you’ve been—”
“What?” I snap. “Living my life?! Not being afraid anymore?”
“Reckless!” she blurts. “The word is reckless .”
“Thank you so much for your concern,” I mutter, looking away.
Neve sighs, taking my hand.
“I’m sorry. I love you, that’s all. And this…scares me a little. A lot, actually.”
I squeeze her hand back, smiling wryly. “I’m fine, Neve. I mean that. It’s nothing sinister.”
“Of all the men in New York, you had to pick Gavan fucking Tsarenko ?”
I lift a brow. “Says the woman who married Ares Drakos? The crown prince of our arch-rivals?”
She smirks, but still glares at me. “That was…different.”
“You’re right, it was. We were actively about to go to war with the Drakos family when that happened.”
She sighs, looking away.
“Just tell me this. Are you safe?”
“I am.”
“Happy?”
I bite back a smile.
Way more than I should be.
“Yes.”
She frowns, shaking her head before she looks back at me. “And do you promise that if that asshole tries anything, or hurts you in any fucking way, you’ll tell me, so that I can murder him with a blunt instrument after castrating him?”
I snort. “Definitely.”
My sister’s lips twist. “I love you, Eils.”
“I love you, too.” I frown. “Look, can you…”
“ Not tell Castle?” She makes a face. “Yeah, not a fucking chance . Do I look like I have a death wish? That’s on you if you want to open that particular nuclear suitcase.”
I grin. “Can you maybe not tell anyone ? I mean, not yet. It’s all pretty new, and I just—”
“Like you said,” she says with a sigh. “You’re not a kid, Eils. Tell or don’t tell whomever you want, whenever you want. Okay?”
I nod. “Thank you.”
Maybe this is a bad idea.
But also, more than anything, he’s the one that I want here with me right now.
And maybe that makes this not such a bad idea after all.