Chapter 18
As the week continues, I get better at sneaking out.
I put on running shorts and a tank and bring headphones and a water bottle, so if Trystan sees me on the camera, he’ll think I’m actually going on a walk or running.
Then, before I come home, I go into Jackson’s house and wet my shirt and face with water, so it looks like I’ve been sweating.
It must be working because Trystan hasn’t questioned me about it since that talk we had.
As for Braden, I haven’t seen him. He’s been living at the gym or the football field.
I haven’t seen Brock much either. He leaves during the day and spends evenings in his office.
We don’t even have dinner together anymore, which is good.
I’m trying to stay away from him, so he doesn’t come up with more rules for me or order me around.
By Friday night, I’m desperate to go out and do something. Trystan went to a party, and who knows where Braden went. I think Brock is out, too. I haven’t heard him in the house.
I’m so bored. I already talked to Axl for over an hour. He was going out with Greg, this guy who works at the guitar store. Greg’s old and a little strange, but he knows all the good bands and invited Axl to a concert tonight.
Looking through my phone, I see Shayla’s number and call her.
“Hey, Rumor,” she says. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing. That’s why I’m calling. I know it’s last minute, but do you want to go out tonight?”
“I can’t. It’s my grandma’s birthday and we’re having a party. You can come over if you want. We have tons of food.”
“I would but I can’t drive. I don’t have a license.”
“You don’t?”
“Not yet. Anyway, I don’t want to keep you from the party.”
“Hey, what do you want to do tomorrow?”
“Maybe see a movie. Go to lunch. Shopping. Anything to get me out of here.”
She laughs. “Okay, we’ll figure it out tomorrow.”
“Yeah, see ya.” I end the call, disappointed she can’t go out tonight.
I go to the kitchen to find something to eat. Ana, the chef, made me tacos last night, but I ate them all. She said I could make her a shopping list for when she’s here tomorrow, so I go to the drawer and take out some paper and a pen.
As I’m making the list, I hear noise coming from upstairs. It sounds like a door opening. What the hell? I thought I was the only one home.
I slowly walk up the stairs. I hear a door close and someone talking.
“Hello?” I call out. “Brock?”
Nobody answers.
I stand outside his room, but don’t hear anything. As I’m about to turn around, the door swings open and Ana races out. She runs right into me and screams.
“What is it?” Brock comes out, wearing a robe.
“Your niece,” Ana says, a nervous smile on her face, clutching her chest. “She scared me.”
Ana was in Brock’s room. On a Friday night.
I’m not surprised Brock’s cheating on his girlfriend, but I didn’t think it’d be with Ana. She’s almost half his age.
“Excuse me,” she says, going around me and down the stairs.
“It’s not what you think,” Brock says. “We were meeting about the menu for a lunch I’m hosting next week.”
“You have meetings in your robe?” I point to it.
“Listen to me.” He gets in my face. “Nothing happened.”
“Whatever you say.”
He goes into his room and slams the door.
When I get downstairs, Ana is taking her keys out of her purse. She startles when she sees me.
“Sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean to scare you again.”
“What you saw up there.” She bites her lip. “It’s not—”
“Don’t worry about it. I don’t care. You guys can do what you want.”
Ana grabs her purse — a very expensive designer purse — and hurries out to the garage.
Still hungry, I search the fridge for something to eat. Way in the back, I find the leftover chicken nuggets Ana made me for dinner the other night. I put them on a plate to heat up. As I watch them spin around in the microwave, I hear Brock behind me.
“How much will it take?”
I turn to face him. “What are we talking about?”
“This issue with Ana. How much will it take to keep you quiet?”
“I wasn’t planning on telling anyone.”
“But you could, and I can’t risk that happening.”
“I’m not going to tell Morgan. I doubt I’ll even see her again. Isn’t she going overseas to shoot a movie soon?”
“That’s not for a few months. And if I’m lucky, I’ll be going with her.”
“You’re going on the shoot with her? Does that mean you guys are serious?”
“This isn’t about our relationship. It’s about a role. I’m waiting to hear if I’ll be asked to audition.”
“So that’s why you’re dating her.” The microwave beeps, and I take the plate out. “You want a part in the movie.”
“That is not why I’m dating her. Ana is just a fling. Morgan is the woman I hope to marry.”
“Are you going to cheat on her after you’re married?” I ask, popping a chicken nugget in my mouth.
He narrows his eyes at me. “Just tell me what it’ll take.”
I chew on my nugget as I consider it. “No curfew.”
He sighs. “Fine, but I still expect you to be home at a reasonable hour.”
“I’m not done.” I grab another nugget. “I also want to see Axl.”
“Who’s Axl?”
“My boyfriend. I want you to fly me to New York next weekend to see him.”
“After the first week of classes? No. You need to be home studying.”
“Then no deal. I’ll go call Liv. She can tell her mom.” I walk off.
“Rumor!” Brock barks as he steps in front of me. He takes a deep breath. “What if he comes here instead? I’ll cover his travel costs.”
I hadn’t considered that, but I like it. Axl will be able to see where I live, and we can hang out by the pool all weekend.
“Deal,” I say. “I want him here Friday and he’s not leaving until Monday morning.”
I walk away. Brock doesn’t stop me, so I assume that means he’s good with it. He has to be, or I’ll tell his famous Hollywood girlfriend his dirty little secret.
* * *
The next morning, I wake up to find I’m alone in the house. I wonder if Braden and Trystan even came home last night. Shayla won’t be here until noon, so I sneak down to Jackson’s house, hoping he’ll give me a driving lesson.
As I’m about to ring the bell, the door opens. Kristen’s standing there, looking beautiful as always, her blond hair pulled up in a messy bun, her perfect body covered in black yoga pants and a cropped white t-shirt.
“Hey,” I say, smiling at her.
She doesn’t smile back. “What do you want?”
“I want to ask Jackson something.”
“What do you need to ask him?” She folds her skinny arms over her large chest.
“Is he home?” I ask, trying to look behind her into the house.
“He’s in the shower. You should leave.”
“Could I ask you something?”
“What?” she snaps.
“Are you and Jackson dating? It seems like you are, but he keeps saying you’re not.”
“It’s complicated,” she says.
“Complicated, how? Because he goes to Legion and you go to Twisted Pine? Are you—”
“We’re not,” she blurts out.
“You’re not dating?”
“I have to go.”
She comes out of the house, shutting the door behind her, then hurries to her car.
As she drives away, I turn back to the door just as it swings open.
“Kristen, we need to—” Jackson stops when he sees it’s me at the door.
“She had to go,” I say, my eyes going to his shirtless chest, then his abs. He’s wearing workout shorts that hang low on his hips.
“Shit,” he mutters, looking down as he rubs his hand over his face.
“What? Is it me? Is she mad I showed up here?”
“It’s not that.” He steps aside. “Come in.”
When I’m inside, I say, “You should tell her about the lessons. That way she’ll know there’s nothing going on between us.”
He looks at me, not saying anything.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
He shakes his head. “Sorry. I spaced out.” He walks to the living room. “So is that why you’re here? For a lesson?”
“Yeah. Nobody’s home right now so I thought it’d be a good time to sneak out. And later I’m going out with Shayla, so this is really the only time I have free.”
“I’ll go change. I only have an hour and then I have to leave for the gym.”
He goes to his room and returns wearing white shorts and a navy polo shirt. It’d look ridiculous on Axl, but on Jackson? Damn, he looks good. He looks good in everything he wears.
“Ready to go?” he asks with a smile. He has a movie star smile. And the body of an athlete. Being around him all week is making me want to do things, but with Axl, of course, not Jackson.
“I’m ready,” I say, racing ahead of him to open the door.
We get in the Range Rover, and he drives out of the neighborhood, then pulls over on the side of the road.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“You’ve mastered the parking lot. It’s time to try an actual road.”
“Are you serious? I just started.”
“You’re a fast learner. And you’ve memorized that damn driver’s manual, which means you know the rules of the road.”
“I only memorized it because I’ve had nothing else to do all week.” I look at him. “You sure about this?”
He gives me that Hollywood smile. “She’s all yours.”
We switch seats, and I slowly pull back on the road.
“I’m nervous,” I tell him as I drive down the street.
“Don’t be. You’re doing great.”
“Yeah, but if I hurt your car you’ll kill me.”
He laughs. “I won’t kill you. Anything that happens to it can be fixed.”
“If only life worked that way,” I mutter.
“Meaning what?”
I stop at a light and glance at him. “Life. If only we could fix things that go wrong.”
“Like your mom dying,” he says in a soft voice.
I let out a breath. “Yeah.” Continuing down the street, I say, “Where should I go?”
“Let’s stop for a few minutes.”
“Why? We just started.”
“You see that park entrance up ahead? Pull in there.”
“But we don’t have much time.”
“We have plenty of time. Go ahead and pull over.”
I carefully switch lanes, turn into the small lot, and park in a narrow space.
“Was this a test to see if I could do all that?” I ask, handing him his keys.
“No, but if it was, I’d give you an A.”
“Thanks,” I say, smiling.
We get out, and I follow him to a bench in the park. It’s high up on a cliff, the ocean off in the distance.
“So why’d you want to stop?”
Jackson turns to me. “We never get much time to talk. We have the lesson and then one or both of us has to go.”
“We’ll have even less time once school starts next week.”
“I’m hoping we can still make time to see each other,” he says, his eyes meeting mine. It makes my heart speed up, so I look away, out at the ocean.
I take a breath. “So what’d you want to talk about?”
“I want to know how you’re doing.”
“I’m fine.” I let out a laugh. “Why do you ask?”
“You’ve kind of been through hell the past month. Not kind of — you have been through hell. I want to know how you’re doing.”
If I weren’t embarrassed to do it, I’d hug him right now. Because nobody but him has asked how I’m doing. Not one person since my mom died. They ask if I’m okay or if I need anything, but they don’t ask how I’m doing. And they don’t act like they care.
Jackson cares. I can feel it in the way he asked and the way he’s looking at me.
“It sucks,” I say, a lump forming in my throat. “And it hurts. It hurts like hell.” I take a breath. “Honestly? I’m not doing well.”
He reaches over and takes my hand. “That’s what I thought.”
“You did?” I ask, my eyes lifting to his.
“I know we just met but I get the feeling we’re a lot alike.”
“How are we alike?” I ask.
“The way we deal with pain. The way we cover it up with anger.”
“I don’t do that. I—”
“You do.” He rubs my hand. “And there’s nothing wrong with that, at least in the short term to get through it. But as time goes on, you gotta deal with that shit. Otherwise it never goes away.”
“But I am angry. I’m not using it to cover up how I really feel. I’m angry about everything that’s happened.”
“And hurting. Because you lost her.”
I look down. “Why do you care? You barely know me.”
“I know you well enough to know you’re not okay. And that you’re afraid to talk about it. Afraid people will think you’re not tough if you do.”
I don’t respond. I wasn’t expecting this conversation, especially during our driving lesson.
He lifts my chin up and looks at me. “If you ever want to talk. Scream. Throw things. I’m just a few houses away.”
I nod.
“I mean it, Rumor. I know we just met but I want to be more than your Driver’s Ed instructor.”
I smile. “You’re a really good instructor.”
“I’m a good listener too.” He lightly squeezes my hand. “Just consider it, okay?”
Searching his face, I see genuine concern. Concern no one else has shown for me, not even Axl.
As Jackson takes his hand from mine and sits back, I lunge forward and hug him.
“Thanks,” I whisper, a tear falling from my eye.
His big, strong arms wrap completely around me, and it’s the first time since I got here that I feel safe. Cared for. Like I matter.
“Hey.” He pulls back, his eyes on mine. “I meant what I said. You ever want to talk? Or just not be alone? Come down to my house.” He smiles. “I’ll even let you come in the back.” He stands up. “Let’s finish up.”
We leave, and I practice driving for an hour before returning to his house.
“You’re doing really good,” he says as we go inside. “We’ll try the freeway next time. If you do good on that you might be ready for your test.”
I sigh. “I can’t take it.”
“Why not?”
“The website said you have to show proof of Driver’s Ed class.”
“Shit, I didn’t think about that. So we’ll find you a class and get you signed up.”
“I also need a parent to sign the application. And Brock refuses to tell me where my dad is.”
“Why won’t he tell you?”
“He doesn’t want me trying to go see him. But even if I knew where he was, I still couldn’t see him. They don’t allow visitors. And they take their phones away so I can’t even call him.”
“There’s gotta be a way to get in touch with him. You sure the place he’s at wouldn’t let you talk to him? Even just for few minutes?”
“Maybe, but I don’t know who to call.”
“There’s no one else you could ask besides Brock?”
“I can’t think of anyone. My mom used to know where he was, but she’s gone now.”
“There’s gotta be someone else who would know. His agent? Manager?”
“I don’t know them.”
“Did he have a girlfriend?”
“Not that I know of. I really don’t know that much about him.”
Jackson’s phone rings, and he checks to see who’s calling. “I need to take this in the other room.”
“Go ahead.”
When he’s gone, I sit on the couch and try to think of how to find my dad.
I need to talk to him. Find out how long he’ll be in rehab.
If he’ll be out soon, I want to live with him.
He’s an irresponsible mess who will probably go back to drinking and doing drugs, but it’s still better than living with Brock.
And I wouldn’t have to go to Twisted Pine.
I have to find him. He’s the only person who can save me from this place.