Chapter 29
CHAPTER 29
RAVEN
T he greenhouse hums with a quiet kind of life, the air warm and fragrant with the smell of strawberries. I crouch low, my fingers brushing through the leaves to find the ripe ones hiding underneath. My earbuds are snug in my ears, Sunny’s voice crackling slightly through the phone as she continues the conversation. I can hear the faint noises of customers in her bakery in the background.
“So, what’s the game plan?” she asks, her voice laced with its usual mix of curiosity and sass. “How are you going to remind Earl that he’s not a complete asshole?”
I smile despite myself, shaking my head even though she can’t see me. “No game plan yet,” I admit, plucking another strawberry and placing it gently into the basket at my feet. “I’m just … playing it by ear.”
“Playing it by ear? That doesn’t sound like you at all. You’re the queen of strategies and ten-step plans.”
I laugh softly, shifting my weight to reach further into the row. “Things are different now, Sunny. I’m trying something new: patience.”
Sunny’s scoff is audible even through the call. “Patience with Earl? That’s ambitious.”
I don’t answer right away, focusing on the rhythmic motion of picking the berries. The repetitive task calms me and lets me think. “Well, I have to. I think he’s planning to stay in town for a while. I heard him talking about renovating an office or something.”
“You sound almost happy about that,” Sunny says, and I can tell she’s raising an eyebrow on the other end of the line.
“It’s … complicated,” I admit, standing up to stretch my back. The basket is nearly full now, the strawberries bright and gleaming in the sunlight streaming through the glass roof. “But I plan to be civil at least.”
“Civil isn’t exactly a glowing endorsement,” Sunny points out.
“It’s a start,” I say, my tone firm. “I’m not going to be antagonistic all the time anymore. I’m going to try to make this work.” A small smile tugs at my lips. “I’m going to try to figure him out all over again. I think he’s—” I pause, unsure how to explain what I feel. “In the last few days, I’ve started to remember a lot of little things about him and his likes and dislikes that I forced myself to forget out of anger and sorrow. For example, he likes soup and we never ever have soup.”
“Oh God, Raven. Please don’t fall in love with him again,” Sunny admonishes suddenly.
I’m silent for a while as I ponder her words. “I don’t know. Did I ever fall out of love with him?”
“Raven,” she calls, her tone filled with concern.
“Oh, Sunny, I’ve never fallen out of love with him. I pretended to the whole world and even myself, but there is no one else for me. There never was and never will be. Either way, I’m not giving up yet.”
“But he’s been an asshole to you,” she cries.
“Yes, he’s been an asshole, but if I believe that underneath that harsh exterior, he is hurting. Something happened to make him change so drastically and I’m not going to give up on him until I know what it is. And in the end, if after all my effort it still doesn’t work, I won’t be haunted by the fact that I didn’t try hard enough.”
She releases a heavy sigh. “All right. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Wasn’t it you who said getting hurt is part of life?” I remind her.
“I did, but I didn’t mean it for you to use it against me.”
I laugh.
“Hm …” she hums, her voice softening. “You really love him to pieces, huh?”
“Yeah,” I admit, crouching back down to gather the last few berries. “Stop worrying about me. I’ll be okay. My dad’s going to get better. I’m handling things on that end and things will work out, you’ll see.”
“What’s the sex like?” she asks suddenly.
I flush, glad she can’t see me. “He comes to my room. We … uh … we get busy as usual.”
“Just how busy?” she asks cheekily.
I chuckle.
“Answer the question,” she insists.
“Look, I’ll stop by soon and maybe I’ll share details.”
“You better because I tell you everything.” Sunny goes suddenly quiet, and the silence stretches just long enough to make me glance at my phone.
“You’re too good for him, you know that, right?” she says, her voice choked with emotion.
I laugh softly. “I’m not sure about that, especially now that he seems to have all the money in the world.”
“Money is not part of this equation. Charles had money too, and see how much of a tool he was.”
“Yeah, Charles lied to me, but somehow it doesn’t hurt. I guess because I never loved him.”
Sunny sighs at this. “At this point, I’m not even sure whose side I’m on. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t even know who to choose.”
“It’s not a matter of choice,” I reply. “Earl’s always been in my heart. Even when I hated him for leaving so abruptly, he was still in my heart. If he still didn’t have a dime to his name, he would still be in my heart. I truly wonder where he got the impression that this is not the case. It is so damn frustrating.”
“Do you think someone told him something?” she asks. “Like someone who was jealous of you and wanted to break you both up.”
I smile, grateful for her presence and ear daily. “Nah. Earl wouldn’t believe anyone over me. It’s something else. Thanks for being around, Sunny. You’ve been keeping me sane these past weeks.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s my job,” she says. “Alright, get back to picking those strawberries. I am excited about the idea of baking a strawberry cake.”
“More boxes of homegrown strawberries than you need coming up,” I tell her cheerfully.
“Good. I’ll be waiting.”
I glance at the full basket, my chest warming at the thought of my father enjoying the fruits of my labor. “I think I’ll also send some to my dad as well. He loves strawberries.”
“Good idea. Ooo … there’s a customer who needs me. Talk later?” she says.
“Yeah, later,” I say and hang up.
I pull the earbuds out, and the greenhouse is suddenly quiet again. The sun filters through the glass, golden and warm, and for the first time since I got married, I feel a flicker of peace. I know now what I want to do.