Chapter 47
CHAPTER 47
EARL
T he hospital room is quiet, the sterile hum of machines the only sound breaking the stillness. I wake to the faint scent of her—soft, floral, like warmth and safety wrapped into one. My eyes open, and there she is, sitting in the chair beside my bed. My Raven.
Her hair is pulled back, wisps framing her face, and there’s an exhaustion in her posture that tells me she hasn’t left my side. She looks like an angel, even in her weariness. The sight of so much beauty squeezes my heart.
“Hey,” I croak, my throat rough and dry as sandpaper.
Her gaze swings to mine, and relief floods her face. “Earl,” she breathes, leaning closer. Her hand brushes my cheek, and I feel the warmth of her palm against my skin. “You’re awake.”
I smile faintly, weakly, but it’s all I can manage. “Yup. Still here.”
Tears brim in her eyes as she presses a soft kiss to my forehead. “Don’t you dare scare me like that again.”
“Didn’t mean to,” I murmur, my fingers twitching to reach for hers. She takes my hand without hesitation, her grip is soft and infinitely tender.
We sit like that for a moment, in comfortable silence. There’s so much I want to say, but I don’t know where to start. Her thumb strokes over my knuckles, her gaze dropping to our intertwined hands.
“Raven,” I start. “We need to talk.”
She nods, a trace of worry flickering across her face. “I know.”
“First,” I say, swallowing hard. “I need to apologize. For the way I’ve treated you. For the way I’ve shut you out, the way I held onto the past, I should’ve let go of it all a long time ago.”
She shakes her head quickly. “No, Earl. You don’t have to do this now. You?—”
“I do,” I interrupt gently. “You’ve been everything to me, Raven. And I’ve been holding onto anger because I didn’t know how to deal with how much you mean to me. But you deserve the truth. All of it.”
Her brow furrows, and I see her mind working, the concern etching into her features. “What truth?” she asks softly.
I take a deep breath, steeling myself. “Years ago, at that party … I heard you. I heard what you said to Annabelle.”
Her eyes widen, her hand still in mine. “Earl …”
“I wasn’t supposed to be there. You thought I wasn’t in the room, but I was,” I continue. “I heard every word.”
Her face pales as the memory crashes over her. “I didn’t mean?—”
“You called me a grease monkey,” I say, the words cutting through the air like a blade, each syllable full of years of hurt. “A loser. Said you were only with me until you found someone better. I heard you that night, Raven. The things you said … they weren’t just about me. You tore into my family, my entire life. You told Annabelle that my father was a nasty drunk and my mother?—”
My voice cracks, but I press on, the flood of memory impossible to stop. “You said my mother was a drug addict who’d sent me to live with my father because she couldn’t be bothered to raise me. I told you that in confidence. I’ve never told anyone else that. You were the only person I trusted with that information.”
Her lips part to speak, to explain, but I put my finger across her lips and shake my head.
“And then I had to stand there and listen to you say I had no prospects. That I was just a fling, a good kisser … and nothing more. You’d leave me the second someone with real money came along. Do you have any idea what it felt like to hear you say all that? To hear Annabelle defend me while you … you, the love of my life, my everything, you tore me apart? She said I was the most gorgeous person she’d ever laid eyes on, and you—” My voice falters, the anger and pain surging. “You acted horrified, like the idea of being with me long-term disgusted you.”
Tears spill over her cheeks as she shakes her head. “I didn’t mean it, Earl. I swear. I—I was scared. Annabelle was … she was so blonde, so perfect, so confident, so wealthy, and I thought she could take you away from me. I said those things to put her off you. Obvioulsly, I didn’t believe any of it. They were just lies. I didn’t mean any of it. You have to believe me, Earl. You just have to.”
Her voice cracks, and I see the sincerity in her eyes, the pain etched into her expression. “I hated myself for ever saying those things,” she whispers. “And if I could take it back, I would. I was young. I was stupid. And I was so insanely jealous when I saw Annabelle flirting with you at the party. I was terrified of losing you. I did what I thought was my only choice. I lied to her to keep you. Do you believe me?”
“Yes,” I say, my voice softer now. “I know you didn’t mean it now, but that night, it broke me, and stayed with me, Raven. It shaped everything I did after that. Colored every decision I made.”
She looks at me, her tears falling freely. “So that’s why you left. That’s why you pushed me away.”
I nod. “It hurt, hearing those things. It made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for you. And I thought … if I could prove you wrong, if I could make something of myself, then maybe … maybe I’d deserve you, but I was so proud, I had to dress it up as my great revenge.”
Her hands fly to my face, cupping my cheeks as she leans closer. “We’ve always deserved each other, Earl. We’re two peas in a pod, remember? I was stupid, insecure and scared when I said those things, but even after you left I never stopped loving you. Not for a moment. Never.”
I close my eyes as her words wash over me, the truth I’ve been yearning for finally setting me free. Tears sting my eyes, and before I can stop them, they spill over. “I’m sorry,” I choke out. “I’ve been such a monster, holding onto that anger for so long.”
She wipes my tears away, her touch gentle and soothing. “There’s nothing to apologize for,” she whispers. “Love forgives everything, Earl. Everything.”
The weight I’ve carried for years lifts in that moment, replaced by a deep love and warmth I haven’t felt in a long time. She kisses me, soft and tender, and I let myself sink into it, into her, into us.
As she pulls back, her smile wavers, but her eyes hold nothing but love. “We’ll be okay,” she says, her voice trembling with conviction. “We’ll figure it out. Together.”
I nod, pulling her closer as my heart finally feels whole. “Together,” I agree, and for the first time in years, I believe it.