SERENITY
“I’ve heard about you,” I tell her. “Nico told me how Nick was forced to let you go.”
Kinsley lets out a soft laugh.
“I didn’t leave because I stopped loving him. I overheard that he was a mafia boss, and I confronted him. He admitted he was engaged.
She shakes her head.
“I didn’t care that the engagement was arranged.
I cared that he’d taken my virginity while keeping that part of his life from me.
Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to give myself to him.
But if I’d known he belonged to another woman and lived this life, I would’ve walked away before I ever fell in love. ”
“So you had no problem walking away from him? You didn’t look back?” I question.
She burst into hysterical laughter this time. “Girl, please! I was at that man’s dorm room door so I could ride his dick one last time.”
I laugh so hard my stomach hurts.
“I did something similar.”
Her brows lift.
“After I found out Nico entered a bet to take my virginity and humiliate me in front of the entire school, I overheard the conversation exposing everything. I got my revenge first.”
“How?”
“I had my bodyguard break his arm.”
Kinsley nods in approval. “Nice.”
“But three months later,” I admit with a guilty smile, “I showed up at his dorm anyway to have sex with him again. I told him we can have sex with each other unprotected and still have protected sex with other people. Nico was fine with him sleeping around. Me? Not so much. Every time I showed interest in another man, he’d magically appear.
He even saved me from being raped once.”
A small smile tipped up at one end of my lips.
“We’ve been through a lot over the years.” My fingers drift over the lace hanging from one of the wedding gowns.
“Then one day... I left.”
The words barely leave my mouth.
“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
I turn toward her.
“Walking away from the man I love broke something inside me.”
Without saying a word, Kinsley takes my wrist and guides me toward two plush cream chairs in the center of the room. A tray rests on the coffee table in front of them.
Tea.
Coffee.
Fresh croissants.
Esmerelda must’ve dropped everything off.
I sink into one of the chairs with a heavy sigh.
Kinsley pours two cups of tea before handing one to me.
“Why did you leave?”
I stare into the steam rising from my cup.
“I can’t say.”
She nods, respecting my answer.
“The woman Nick was engaged to didn’t care that I walked away from him. She decided to make me pay because Nick loved me. And he’d never love her. I won’t go into details, but after she arranged for me to be brutally raped, she tried to murder me.”
The tears come before I can stop them.
Kinsley takes a slow sip of tea.
“I woke up in the hospital.”
Her voice cracks.
“The doctor told me I’d lost my baby.”
The porcelain cup trembles violently in her hand.
I take it from her and place it on the table. I’m aware I’m instantly triggered about the loss of her baby.
“She murdered your baby,” I whisper.
A familiar panic grips my chest.
Kinsley’s eyes close.
I wrap my arms around her.
“I’m so sorry.”
She clings to me just as tightly.
For several minutes the room fills with nothing but quiet sobs and shaky breaths.
Neither of us knew how badly we needed this.
Eventually we pull apart and reach for tissues, dabbing swollen eyes.
It’s funny.
You think your life is unbearable until someone trusts you with a pain even darker than your own.
I tell her everything.
About my mother.
About what happened when I was fourteen.
About the nightmares that never leave.
Her jaw slowly falls open as she listens.
When I finish, she sits in stunned silence.
“After I finally told Nico the truth,” I say quietly, “he still wanted to marry me. He still wanted children.”
I shake my head.
“That was never part of my future.” I lift the cup to my lips and take a sip, the bright taste of oranges swirling over my tongue.
I gesture around the bridal salon. “Now look at me. Nico offered my father the one thing he could never refuse. The territory he’d lost. Now I’m walking into an arranged marriage.”
I let out a humorless laugh.
“Here’s the kicker. I have to get pregnant within the first year of marriage. This man moved our wedding date up. I wouldn’t be surprised if he moves up the timetable to have a child.”
My stomach twists.
“I don’t want my children to go through what I have.”
Kinsley reaches over the arm of the chair and squeezes my hand briefly.
“If someone had told me I’d marry a mafia boss, I would’ve laughed in their face.”
A soft smile touches her lips.
“My mother was dying, and I needed access to unlimited cash. Nick found my file at the Wife for Hire Agency, and somehow that impossible situation became my life. We have a newborn baby. Trust me the road was bumpy getting here.”
Then she looks at me.
“I’m the Donna now. Soon you’ll be one too.”
I jump to my feet and begin pacing.
“I tried to kill him this morning.”
Her eyes widen.
“I was desperate. I poisoned his breakfast. My plan failed because his bodyguard tested the food first.”
She stares at me.
“Serenity, you entered a deal to marry him and have his children. You know how the mafia world works better than me.”
I sigh. “I know. How did I think I’d ever escape him, anyway?”
“I thought you said you loved him?”
“I do. Love isn’t enough. My past is about to catch up with me. I might not be alive in a week after I go after my enemies. I’m making peace with that.” I slip my fingers through my wavy hair.
“I’ve made proper arrangements,” I whisper.
“You know Nico will never let you go to war alone.”
“I know. That’s why I was trying to find another way out. If Nico was dead,” I choke out. My body shakes uncontrollably.
“Dad would get his territory back.”
My voice breaks.
“But when it came time to do it... I couldn’t.”
I wipe at my tears.
“I only gave him enough poison to make him sick.”
I laugh bitterly.
“He found out. He was furious. And then he kissed me.”
I cover my face.
“We are so unbelievably fucked up. We kill people for each other.”
Kinsley walks over and stops in front of me.
Her smile is warm. “Then stop running.”
I look up at her.
“Tell him the truth. Let him carry some of the weight.”
I nod over and over like one of those little dashboard bobbleheads.
Maybe she’s right.
Maybe I’ve been fighting alone for too long.
She loops her arm through mine.
“Come on. Let’s find you the perfect wedding dress.”
A groan escapes me. “Okay.”
As we walk back toward the gowns, one thought refuses to leave me.
If I’m really going to fight for us...
When do I tell Nico my secret?