Chapter 17 Ivy
IVY
Thank God it’s Friday. PE won’t even be a full class since we’re dismissed early for a pep rally—which I won’t be attending.
This school is as obsessed with football as my old school was.
I’m so tired of walking the hallway of Belgrave Academy and seeing Luca every five freaking seconds.
He hasn’t said a word to me, but he doesn’t have to.
Just his existence is enough to make me want to gouge his eyes out.
Moving to my usual spot on the bleachers, I lie on the bench and scroll through my phone. Everything was restored from iCloud, but I almost wish it hadn’t been so the device would be empty.
I sign into Instagram and immediately see Everett smiling back at me with Kendall beside him. Her hand is across the number one on his chest (the same he’s worn since youth football) while she beams in her cheer outfit with the caption “Captains unite.”
In a perfect world, it’d be me in the photo with him. But I’m glad it’s not. Kendall is thrilled and excited to be there. And at least Everett’s happy too. That’s all I can wish for him. Because I know I wouldn’t be a good friend to have by his side.
There’s a throat clearing as someone steps up beside me. Shifting my phone to the side, I look up at Coach. “Is this your plan for the entire year, Ivy?”
“Pretty much.” Since the schedule change won’t come through.
“You’ll fail the class.”
“I’ll still have enough credits to graduate.”
Coach keeps a blunt tone. “It’ll kill your GPA.”
I look back at my phone. “I’ll survive.”
“You don’t have to compete, just attempt to participate a few times and you’ll receive a passing grade,” Coach explains, before he walks away with a disapproving expression.
Get in line, Coach. Disappointment is inevitable. I drop my phone to my stomach and stare at the ceiling. Fatigue is catching up with me. The last few nights the nightmares have gotten worse and played out even further. But still a jumbled, chaotic mess.
My phone vibrates on my chest as I ignore it until three more come through. I hear a girl in my class come up beside me. “Ivy, you’ve been holding out. This doesn’t even seem like you.”
When I look at my phone, I see a message from an unknown number. There’s a video attached. I don’t have to watch to know what it is. The highlight reel was posted on my old school’s social media after I captured the state title. And my mom was the one who ran up and congratulated me.
Even though I shouldn’t, I click to watch.
It doesn’t feel like me either. The entire moment feels like a dream I’d imagined and now watch from the outside, like it never happened.
Or it just happened so long ago the memory has faded.
I watch my mom clapping and smiling before she runs over and wraps me in her arms. I barely acknowledge her, shrugging her off to resume the celebration with my teammates.
But what really gets me is when they interview my mom and coach before I come back on the screen with my teammates.
Simone drops onto the bench beside me. “Remind me why you aren’t competing with us?”
Wait. What? I look over and see the video playing on her phone. And when I glance around the room, there’re a few others viewing their phones or looking at me. It’s not like that video wasn’t already public, but I don’t want to deal with the questions and explaining myself.
Grabbing my things, I head out of the natatorium straight for the parking lot. Once I round the corner, I spot Luca leaning against the wall near the exit.
I don’t acknowledge him and just keep walking until he says, “Looks like you knew a little about winning too. Mommy was so proud.”
Every muscle in my body tenses up as I stop in my tracks, my feet frozen in place. Slowly, I turn to look at his smug, triumphant gape.
“Did you send this?”
He doesn’t respond. At least not with words, but his face has guilty written all over it.
“Why would you do it?”
“Just wanted to reminisce over Willowbrook High School’s former shining star.” I can hear the mockery in his voice. “Though it does make sense now why you’re so scared to jump back in. Good thing Mommy isn’t around to see how far you’ve fallen.”
Stepping closer to him, I keep my voice as controlled as I can manage so maybe he’ll actually comprehend the message. “I’m not scared. I’m just done with the bullshit, including yours.”
He remains a stone wall until I turn and walk away. I shouldn’t let him get to me. But he does. I’m still fuming when I walk into my house.
Out of all the times for Dad to be home, it’s now. He meets me at the door as he says, “I have a surprise for you.”
“I don’t want it.” I go to walk around, and he blocks my way.
“Are you sure? It’s a good one.” I don’t respond and he continues, “Just come and see it.”
He throws his hands in the air as he shouts, “Ta-da,” and I look over a brand-new BMW. “The sales guy said we couldn’t go wrong with an M5, so it’s all yours, Ivy Bear.”
“I don’t want it. My Corolla is fine.”
“Are you sure? I know this one would fit in better at Belgrave. It’s brand-new and has all the bells and whistles you could ask for, plus a few more.”
“I’m sure,” I respond as the disappointment spreads on his face.
Running his hand along his mouth, he tells me, “Well, hold on to the keys in case you change your mind. I think it’ll grow on you eventually. That old car of yours will only run so much longer before it needs work again.”
Tucking the key fob in my pocket, I head up to my room. It’s only minutes before I hear yelling downstairs. First, I guess it’s Zachary and Dad, although they haven’t fought since Mom has been gone.
Once I’m in the foyer, I spot Uncle Shawn at the door, Dad blocking him as Anthony stands nearby.
“Ivy”—my uncle pushes past Dad and steps inside—“I’ve been calling you forever.”
“And she’s fine. All in one piece,” Dad states.
Uncle Shawn glances over me. “Are you okay? I couldn’t get through and started worrying. Especially since you didn’t show for kickoff breakfast this morning.”
Every year, I’d have pancakes and ice cream with Uncle Shawn and Aunt Kathleen to kick off the celebration of my birthday. “My phone got messed up, and I just replaced it. But I wasn’t in the mood to celebrate this year.”
“Now that you can see everything is fine, you can go now,” Dad says.
But Uncle Shawn remains in place. “I want to speak with my niece.”
“And I want to speak with my daughter. You don’t have any business here—now more than ever. So, unless you want to be escorted off my property, you’ll do as I say and leave.”
“Dad, please,” I utter. I’m not surprised by the hostility between them, but I figured they could put their differences aside for a little while. But it seems my mom being out of the picture has made their resentment toward one another worse.
Dad finally simmers down a little but has to add, “Remember your place, Unc.”
Shawn watches Dad leave before he asks, “Ivy, you’d tell me if something bad was going on, right? If you weren’t safe or something felt off? And Zachary? He barely answers my texts, but he swears he’s good.”
“Yeah, we’re okay. Nothing out of the ordinary except the swanky neighborhood.”
“And that isn’t a bad thing.”
Not sure I agree. “We’re both attending Belgrave and Zachary has made some friends and seems to really like it.”
“And you?”
“I’m fine.” I know he doesn’t believe me, so I just ask, “Is something going on? I know I’ve been flaky lately and haven’t checked in, but will you tell me if something is going on?”
He pulls me into a tight hug. “I just worry about you. And with your mom gone, I don’t want to lose touch with my favorite niece.”
“Your only niece is good. It’s just been different.”
“Well, just let me know if you need anything. And don’t be a stranger. You are welcome to stop by any time.” Uncle Shawn hesitates before continuing, “We can still get them pancakes whenever you’re ready to celebrate.”
“I will soon.” I should. I haven’t spent any time with my grandma in months.
“Happy eighteen birthday, Ivy.” His voice shakes a little before he releases me and walks out the door.
Dad must’ve waited nearby because he appears less than a second later. “Everything squared away?”
“Yes. He was just checking in.” Which isn’t out of the ordinary, but their heightened animosity is.
“Alrighty. I’m gonna head out. Are you going to Everett’s game or are you rooting on Belgrave tonight?”
“Neither,” I retort.
“You should go out. You’re too young to waste your life stuck inside. Live it up and relish in the moment,” he singsongs as he floats across the room, his stride light and jubilant.
Wish I could bounce back from losing my mom as fast as he did after losing “the love of his life.” I can’t figure out how to get through the day without dread filling me about the fact that I have to do it all over again the next day.