Chapter 54 Ivy
IVY
Pain consumes me—my arm, my side, my entire body is throbbing. My mom is here, but she’s unresponsive. I scream for her to wake up. Her eyes shoot open. “You did this to me, Ivy.”
The oxygen is sucked out of my lungs as I wheeze, coughing to catch my breath. It takes a few seconds for me to realize where I’m at. I’m in Luca’s bed. The sun has risen so we’ve been asleep for a few hours, but currently he’s wide awake and watching me.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.” I lie back down. The disturbing scene still on repeat. It was the damn picture. That’s what triggered the new addition where my mom comes back to life just to tell me I killed her.
“Want to talk about it?” Luca inquires warily, which is not normal for him.
“No.” I don’t. At all. I don’t even want to think about it. The exhaustion from all the physical activity and satisfying results of the last one probably put me into a deeper sleep than usual. And dozing off again is the last thing I want to do again.
Climbing on him, I initiate the kiss and drop my lips to his. And I can feel his reluctance, as his hands barely touch me. Like he’s afraid I’m damaged. “If you don’t want me, tell me.”
His grip tightens, keeping me on him. “I’ll always want you.”
He grips the nape of my neck, pulling my mouth back to his. There’s less hesitation in him. And zero in me.
I shift, licking down his abs as I take him in my hand, stroking him. He knows my intention as he hooks his finger under my chin, preventing me from taking him in my mouth as he tells me, “You first, remember?”
“Same time?” I suggest. When I see desire blaze in his eyes, I take that as a yes and situate my knees on either side of his head with his face between my thighs.
When he pulls me down to his mouth, I lose all train of thought on what I intended to do.
There won’t be any “same time” because I’ll definitely come before him.
My brain finally catches up, and I concentrate on his pleasure while he incites mine.
I lick along the length of his cock then take him into my mouth.
It’s only seconds later before I reach the peak and go over the edge.
He’s still eating me as he grips my hair, guiding me to his cock as he pumps into my mouth. His other arm stays around my hips, keeping me in his face.
“Fuck,” he growls before he tugs me away. I don’t want this to end. And apparently neither does he. “I want to be inside you when I come.”
Guiding me upright, he maneuverers so I’m straddling his lap with my back to his front.
I stroke his cock before shifting forward to take him inside me.
His fingers dig into my hips as I ride him, his chest hits my back before I feel his mouth on my neck as he lifts to meet my rhythm.
He reaches around, his fingers rubbing me just right, pulling another orgasm out of me.
I ride out the wave, slowing my pace, but he doesn’t as he thrusts wildly until he goes motionless and comes inside me.
Damn. I worry I won’t ever get enough of him. And there is certainly something I need to do.
“I need permission to go home for a few minutes.” I lean back against him as his tongue strokes over my shoulder. “I need to get some clothes and take my birth control pill.”
“You don’t need it,” he states nonchalantly.
I climb off him, wanting to see his expression, because there’s no way he’s that foolish. “Yes, I do.”
He’s serious. Reality hits me. I won’t be able to go home if he doesn’t allow it.
“Luca, we haven’t used protection. It’s risky enough that I don’t know where your dick has been, but pregnancy certainly isn’t on the agenda.
” There’s no way he wants it to be either.
“You know this is just sex, right? I’m good fucking and getting each other off, but this isn’t some gateway to happily-ever-after.
There’s no reason to bring a baby into this shithole.
Even if we make it through Mercy, the fairy tale doesn’t exist.”
I end the rant but he’s still just staring at me, so I add, “Why start something that is doomed from the beginning?” I assume there had to be a time my mom was happy with my father.
A time when she wanted to have a family with him and thought they’d be happy together. But I know how that turned out.
He finally speaks, “I’m clean.”
“That’s it? Are you really not going to let me take my birth control?”
There’s a shift in his demeanor as he bluntly states, “You should. Since we’re just fucking.”
“Correct. Just sex. It can’t be more. I can’t handle anything more. Not that long ago you were going out of your way to hurt me. The same person who beats the shit out of his own brother for kicks.”
“Holding out for a nice guy? That’ll be an issue since you’re such a great judge of character. You did think Micah was the nice twin as I recall.” He keeps a pissy stare on me as he snickers, “Or is it your best friend? He’s an easier pick because you don’t feel shit for him.”
There’s no comparison between the two of them. But I want to make him hurt like he does me. “And yet it’s more than I’ll ever feel for you.”
His amusement dissipates and I realize his brutal side is back. Maybe I should’ve waited until he wasn’t in control of me. I’m just so sick and tired of his fits, and all because I don’t want to play house.
“Let’s go,” he states as he pulls on a pair of jeans. He goes to leave, and I falter before he adds, “Take your pill and get changed because we have plans.”
Damn it. We’re both silent as we walk to my house.
I grab my pill packet and a change of clothes, then lock myself in the bathroom.
The longer I’m in here, the less time he has command over me.
Maybe I should stay until his stretch is up.
Doubt he would allow it to happen. He’d probably break down the door before then.
It is about an hour before I exit out of the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed.
He’s perched on my bed and focused on his phone as I sit at my vanity and begin blow drying my hair.
I usually just let it air dry a little or completely.
Except now since it’s something that will eat up his turn.
I’m astounded by his level of patience as I delay a little longer. When there’s a knock on my bedroom door, it’s Anthony to tell me, “Your guest has arrived, Ms. Walker.”
My guest? Everett appears behind him. “Ready to go?”
“Huh?” I ask as Everett moves closer.
No doubt he notices Luca perched on my bed. And if he didn’t, he will since the asshat says, “Come on in and join the party.”
Everett warily enters my bedroom. “I thought we had plans. Maybe you should’ve mentioned in the text that it was a group outing.”
Glaring at him, I understand Luca’s purpose too late as he positions himself at my side. “You wanted him to show up with you here.”
“What’s going on?” Everett asks. “I thought we were supposed to hang out today since you bailed on the game last night. I figured whatever kept you away had to be important. I guess I was wrong again.”
“You’re wrong about a lot,” Luca says.
I try to do damage control and hope Everett is spared from another useless conflict between Luca and me. “This is really not a good time. We have a project we’re working on. I’ll give you a call when we’re done.”
Luca snickers. “Ouch.”
I try to ignore him as I continue speaking to Everett, “I’ll be at the next game. I promise.”
“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep and wound the poor chump’s self-esteem again,” Luca interjects.
Everett states, “She cares about me. You’ll always just be the chump who was a short-lived, unwanted phase in her life.”
Luca’s penetrating gape meets mine and I see the cruel intent that is rising to the surface. Before I can brace myself, he says, “Yet only one of us know how she tastes.”
Motherfucker. I’m going to slaughter him. But I can only see the pain in Everett’s expression. The betrayal and hurt—courtesy of the one and only vindictive asshole in the room. However, I played right into his hands. Again.
“Everett, please.” I don’t even know what else to say.
He keeps a fixed stare on Luca. “No, Ivy. I’m done. I’ve been here the entire time, and you let him get you on your back?”
I see the shift in Luca’s stance and tell him, “Don’t.”
He resists, but I’m not sure how long it’ll last. Thankfully, Everett is out of the bedroom and storming down the stairs as I follow behind him. We’re in the driveway when I call out, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” His hostility throws me off for a second as he spins around. “I tried, Ivy. I tried to wait until we were older, more mature for a relationship. But you’re ready to throw it all away for a fling.”
“Tell him.” The tone of Luca’s voice sends a chill down my spine. It’s too calm as he instructs me, “Tell him the truth.”
“Back the fuck off, man,” Everett shouts.
But Luca doesn’t relent on his crusade. “Admit exactly how you feel about your buddy here. Tell him if what you feel for him is more than friends. I dare you.”
I don’t think there’s been another moment where I’ve hated Luca more than I do in this instant.
And there’s been some doozies. But he knows I have no choice but to obey him and in return, hurt Everett a little more.
Because it is the truth and it won’t change.
And now I have to confess it out loud. “You’re my best friend, Everett.
I love you.” I pause, taking in a deep inhale, then say, “But only as a friend.”
You’d think I just punched him in the stomach with how he’s gawking at me. “You’ll regret this one day. And don’t come crying back to me after he gets what he wants and dumps you. I won’t be around to pick up the pieces.”
I watch as Everett gets in his truck and drives away. When I look back, I find a satisfied expression on Luca’s face. “I hate you. I truly do.”
“He’ll get over it. He needed to know the truth.”
Observing Luca, I understand there’s no way we’ll ever be anything more than a toxic pair used against the other. A dreadful joke that started out as a dare. And I’m done playing a role in the crazy circus.
“I’m tired.”
He starts walking back to his house. “Yes, bury your head in the sand. That’s what you do best when things get hard.”
I don’t react as I follow him inside; I don’t want to fight anymore.
Thankfully, he shuts up after we get back in his bedroom. He watches me as I crawl into bed and lie there. When he slides next to me, I don’t move. He’ll just get closer again. All I can do is abide my punishment until I’m free. And that time can’t come fast enough.