Chapter 83 Luca
LUCA
Since I got the call from Anthony that she was at her house, I’ve had my eyes on her. But she doesn’t know it because I’ve kept my distance.
Though it gets more difficult with every minute that ticks by. When she leaves her uncle’s house and heads to the accident site, I know my willpower is spent. So, I stop fighting it and walk over to where she’s sitting in the grass. Her sight on the street as cars drive through the intersection.
She flatly states, “Go away.”
“I’d like to explain.” I’ll try if she lets me. She must have questions, and I need to be near her a little longer.
“I. Don’t. Care.” Her voice trembles as she says, “It really doesn’t matter.”
“You matter. You’re everything to me.” I drop down beside her.
“No, I really don’t. But great news, you didn’t kill my mom. She was just some woman who adopted me and stayed married to a toxic, gambling loser for me.”
I don’t know how to respond to that correctly. “Sounds like you mattered greatly to her.”
“Yep. And I was hateful to her,” she utters. “My bio mom is dead too though. No need to worry about that one. Two dead moms and a compulsive gambler for a father. Lucky me. I should play the lottery.”
There’s a pause before she says, “Explain that to me. Please. How did my dad pick the house behind yours?”
“He didn’t. I offered it and the money to him as long as you lived there.
” It won’t make sense to her. But I try to explain where my head was.
“I wanted you to be close by. And Anthony is the person I trust most in the world, so I asked him to keep an eye on you when I couldn’t.
I needed to do something to help you. But it’ll never be enough. ”
“The entire thing was a sham. But for the right price, I was available to be your puppet.” Her angry stare turns to me.
“So how much pleasure did you get knowing you were fucking me all while keeping your dirty secret that you killed my mother? Was that a bonus for Mercy? Did you score any extra points?”
“It wasn’t like that.” I recall watching her in the aftermath of the accident. “I didn’t want to pull strings; I wanted to repair what I broke.”
She slowly looks away as she asks, “How’d you even know he was my dad? Who to buy off?”
I admit, “I followed you. After the accident, I kept a close watch on everything you did, everywhere you went. I thought you’d get better, but you only got sadder, then you stop caring, stopped living.
” The more I speak the more I don’t believe she will ever forgive me, but I owe her this much.
“When Everett touched you, promised you to take it easy, I knew he wasn’t who you needed.
And I wanted to be the one to fix everything. ”
Leaning over, I gently grasp her chin and turn her head to look at me.
“He wouldn’t push you. He sat by and let you be miserable; let you become numb and hollow.
I recognized that you needed to be pushed.
That you’re strong. That you had a fire in you that needed the right match.
I extinguished it, so I needed to reignite it. ”
“That’s stupid.” She slaps away my hand. “You’re stupid. This entire thing is stupid.” She’s screaming by the last word and gets on her feet.
When I stand, she shoves her hands against me, punching my chest. “I hate you.”
I grab her wrists, holding her hands to me. “I had to try. It was more than anyone else, including you, were doing.”
“Yes. By making me more miserable, tormenting me. Forcing me to play this fucked-up game. The same one that is responsible for my mother’s death! Great plan, Luca.” Her shoulders drop as she utters, “Please, I’m begging you. Just leave me alone.”
“I tried.” I really did. I knew I’d break her even more. But I couldn’t stay away. “I can’t.”
She stares through me as I tell her, “I swear I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.”
“You can’t do that either.” Tears trail down her cheeks as she continues, “I said some horrible things to her, then you took my chance away to ever take it back.”
She pulls away from me. And it takes everything I have not to grab her, shake her, and beg for her to let me do something to make it right.
But I know deep down, the only thing that would fix it is impossible.
I’d need a time machine to obliterate what I did to her.
That’s the only thing that can remedy this.
“That is the one decision I would take back if I could. I’d never accept the invitation if I could. I’d not play even if it meant my brother winning. I’d give anything to give you the chance to see her again.”
She doesn’t look at me as she utters, “I said those things to her. At the end of the day, it’s still my fault.”
“Ivy, please.”
She shakes her head, and when her eyes meet mine, I recognize the hollow stare.
I’ve seen it before. She’s completely given up.
I realize her intention a split-second too late.
Like I’ve hit fast-forward on the remote, she’s stepping off the curb into the path of an oncoming car before my body can react.
Then the scene around me slows as I reach for her—but she’s already gone.
It’s too late. I’m always too late. The screeching of tires fills the air as the car swerves.
The sound of the impact jars me as it hits her legs before she slams against the hood, her shoulder taking the brunt before she tumbles to the pavement.
“Ivy!” I shout and drop to my knees beside her in the roadway where she lies bloodied and lifeless.
The driver’s door swings open as he shouts, “I tried to stop.”
“Call 911,” I yell to him before I beg her, “Please don’t leave me. Please stay with me. You promised me, Ivy. You can’t give up.”
I put my ear near her mouth; her breathing is faint though I see her chest rising, but she’s unconscious.
It’s probably minutes later, but it feels like an eternity when the flashing lights approach. The scene in front of me blends with the one from months ago. And both are life-shattering. And neither can be taken back.
“She can’t die. Please help her,” I plead with the paramedics as they start to examine her.
One confirms, “She’s breathing.”
Hearing the words from someone else gives me a shred of hope. I pray harder than I ever have in my life. Because if she slips away, I will too.