Chapter 18 Alexei
Alexei
Watching Mila struggle to form words might be the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
She’s hovering above me with just the tip of my cock inside her. Her face is flushed, her pupils are dark with desire, and she’s biting her bottom lip like she’s trying to decide if she can say what she wants.
“I’m waiting,” I tell her.
“This is embarrassing.”
“I need to hear you say it.”
She takes a shaky breath. “I want you to fill me. All the way. I want to feel every inch of you inside me.”
“Keep going.”
“I want—” She cuts off and looks away.
I bring my hand to her chin and force her to look at me. “Eyes on me, Zaika. Tell me everything.”
“I want you to fuck me. Hard. Like you did that first night. I want you to make me forget everything except how good you feel.”
I lick my lips and ask, “What else?”
“I want your hands on me. Everywhere. I want you to touch me like I’m yours.”
“You are mine.”
The possessiveness in my voice makes her whimper. She sinks another inch, taking more of me.
“Tell me more,” I order.
“I want you to make me come. I want to feel you lose control inside me. I want—” She gasps as I thrust up slightly. “Oh, God.”
“Finish your sentence.”
“I want you to ruin me for anyone else. I want this to be so good that I can never go back to a life without you in it.”
The admission does something to my chest, making something tighten that has nothing to do with how good she feels wrapped around my cock.
I grip her hips firmly, controlling her movement. “Too slow.” Without warning, I pull her down hard, burying myself inside of her. She cries out, and I hold her there, feeling her adjust to me. “I decide the pace, Zaika. You feel incredible,” I breathe.
“So do you.”
I control every movement, holding onto her waist as I dictate how she rides me. When she goes faster, I slow her down. When she takes control, I remind her who’s in charge..
“You move when I say you can.” I hold her still for a moment, watching frustration and need war across her face. “Ask me nicely.”
“Please, Alexei.”
He tilts his head. “Please what?”
“Please. Let me move.”
“Good girl.” My grip tightens as I push deeper. Harder. “I knew you could take all of me.”
“Alexei.”
“That’s it. Say my name.”
“Alexei. Please.”
“Please what?”
“Please don’t stop.”
I wouldn’t stop if the entire Russian army burst through that door. Nothing could make me stop right now.
I slide one hand between us to find her clit and circle it with my thumb. She throws her head back and rides me harder. She’s getting wetter, and I feel her pussy tightening around my cock.
“Look at me,” I demand.
“You know I’m the only man who’ll ever have you like this, right?”
“Yes.”
Her hazel eyes lock onto mine, and I see everything in them. Want, need, and something that terrifies me more than any threat Maxim Novikov could make.
Her inner walls flutter around me. She’s close; I can tell by the way she moves and the little sounds escaping her throat. She moans as she grinds against me with increasing desperation.
“Not yet,” I tell her. I stop all movement, holding her hips in place despite her whimper of protest.
“Alexei, please—”
“You come when I let you come.” I watch her face, enjoying the desperation there. “Tell me again who you belong to.”
“You. I belong to you.”
“And who’s the only man who’s ever been inside you?”
“You are. Only you.”
I flip us and pin her beneath me on the chair before I drive into her with a force that makes the furniture creak under our weight.
“Yes,” she gasps. “Like that.”
I hook one of her legs over my shoulder, changing the angle so I’m hitting the spot inside her that makes her scream. She claws at my back, dragging her nails down my skin. I feel the sting and know she’s probably drawing blood.
Good. I want her marks on me. Evidence of this branded into my skin.
“You’re so perfect,” I tell her between thrusts. “So tight. So wet. All for me.”
“Only for you.”
“You were untouched before me,” I growl against her ear as I thrust. “No one else has ever had you like this. No one else ever will. That makes you mine completely, Zaika.”
I pound into her harder and faster, chasing the orgasm that’s building at the base of my spine.
But I also want to outrun the realization that’s creeping up on me. This isn’t just sex anymore. Somewhere between the safe house and now, Mila has become something I might not survive losing.
So, I fuck her harder, trying to bury the truth under the physical and convince myself this is just lust.
Except my heart is pounding, and my chest feels too tight. And when she looks up at me, I see my future reflected in them.
A future I never thought I’d want.
I bring my other hand to her throat. I don’t squeeze, I just hold her there, feel her pulse racing under my palm, and watch her eyes darken even more at the dominance of the gesture.
“Who do you belong to?” I ask.
“You.”
“Say it again.”
“I belong to you, Alexei.”
I lean down and bite her shoulder hard enough to leave a mark that she’ll see tomorrow and remember this moment.
“I’m close,” she gasps.
“Come for me. Let me feel you.”
I increase the pressure on her clit, matching it with deep, punishing thrusts that make her body shake beneath me. I feel her tightening around my cock as she approaches the edge.
“Alexei, I’m—”
She comes apart. Her pussy clenches around my cock like a vice. She bites down on my shoulder to muffle her scream. The pain and the pleasure and the way she’s milking my cock send me over the edge along with her.
I bury myself deep and come with a groan that sounds like it’s been ripped from my soul, feeling every pulse as I empty myself inside of her. She takes everything I have to give.
I press my face against her neck while aftershocks roll through both our bodies. I feel her heart pounding against my chest and the little tremors still moving through her.
“That was—” she starts.
“Don’t. Don’t try to describe it.”
“Why not?”
Because putting words to what just happened would make it real. It would force me to acknowledge that I just made love to Mila Andreeva instead of fucking her. Somewhere along the line, she stopped being just another woman and became the woman.
But I don’t say any of that. I just pull out carefully and scoop her into my arms, carrying her to the bed.
“Stay here,” I tell her.
“Where are you going?”
“Bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
I clean up quickly and return with a warm washcloth. She’s curled on her side, and I can see the bruises on her ribs from the attack. I clean gently between her legs first, and she makes a small sound of protest but doesn’t open her eyes.
I brush her hair back from her face, tucking the strands behind her ear with gentle fingers. My thumb traces along her cheekbone, and I reach for a bottle of water on the nightstand.
“Drink.” I help her sit up enough to take a few sips.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
I set the glass aside and pull her against my chest. “Better?”
She nods against my skin, but even as she smiles, her eyes droop with exhaustion.
“Sleep, Zaika.”
“I need to go back to my room.”
“You’re staying here tonight.”
“But—”
“Sleep.”
She’s out within seconds. I pull the covers over us, and she curls into my side, draping one arm across my chest and tucking her face against my neck.
I should put distance between us before I get used to falling asleep with her in my arms.
Instead, I pull her closer, watching her chest rise and fall with each breath. Her lips are parted slightly in sleep, and her hair is fanned across my pillow like she belongs there.
This woman is going to destroy me.
The realization settles over me like a weight. I’ve spent my adult life maintaining control, building walls, and keeping everyone at a safe distance so they can’t hurt me.
And then Mila walked into my life with her stubborn pride and her brilliant mind and a body that responds to mine like we were made for each other. She scaled those walls without even trying. She’s gotten under my skin and into my head, and now, apparently, into my heart.
I’m so screwed.
But as I watch her sleep and feel her safe and warm in my arms, I can’t bring myself to regret it. I also can’t push her away, even though every instinct I have screams that this will end badly.
For the first time in years, I feel something other than anger or emptiness. I feel alive. I feel like maybe there’s more to this existence than violence and territory and endless chess games with other criminals.
I kiss her forehead, and she sighs in her sleep and burrows closer.
I don’t deserve her trust or peace, but for one night, I’m selfish enough to take it anyway.
Yeah. I’m fucked.
My phone wakes me a few hours later.
I fumble for it on the nightstand without opening my eyes and check the screen. The caller ID shows it’s my sister, Sasha, calling from London at an ungodly hour.
I slide carefully out of bed as Mila mumbles something but doesn’t wake. I grab my pants and step into the hallway before answering.
“This better be important,” I say instead of hello.
“Good morning to you, too, big brother. Did I wake you?”
“It’s six in the morning.”
“Perfect time for a chat, then.” I hear the smile in her voice. “I’ve heard interesting rumors.”
“What kind of rumors?”
“The kind that involve increased security around the family. Care to explain?”
I lean against the wall and scrub a hand down my face. “Just some complications with the Andreev family. Nothing I can’t handle.”
“The Andreevs.” She pauses. “Dmitri mentioned you’ve been overseeing security for Leonid’s daughter. That seems excessive for a business arrangement.”
“It’s a tense situation.”
“Alexei.” Her voice goes serious. “Please tell me you’re not getting emotionally involved with someone from our world after what happened last time.”
She means Natalia. Six years ago, she was the woman I thought I loved until she proved that every lesson I learned as a kid was right—that love is a weapon enemies can use to destroy you.
I was so fucking careful with her. I built walls around my heart that I thought were impenetrable, but she was patient. She spent two years earning my trust, making me believe she was different from everyone else in our world and that I could have something real.
Then she took everything I told her and every secret I shared and sold it to our competitors, nearly destroying everything Dmitri and I had built. The only reason we survived was because Dmitri caught her before she could finish what she started.
I haven’t let anyone close since. Haven’t allowed myself to feel anything beyond physical attraction. It’s safer that way. Cleaner.
Until Mila.
“There’s no emotional involvement,” I lie to Sasha. “I’m just protecting an asset until the threats are neutralized.”
“Bullshit. I hear it in your voice.”
“You don’t hear anything in my voice.”
“I’ve known you my whole life, Alexei. I was there after Natalia. I watched what that betrayal did to you. Don’t lie to me now.”
I let out a huff. “Her name is Mila. Mila Andreeva.”
“And you’re sleeping with her?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“So, yes. Jesus Christ, Alexei. Do you remember what Natalia did? How she used your feelings to get close enough to destroy us? How you swore you’d never let anyone in again?”
“This is different.”
“How?”
Mila doesn’t want anything from me except honesty. She sees the monster I am and still looks at me like I’m worth something. When she’s in my arms, I can almost believe I’m more than just the weapon our father trained me to be.
But I don’t say any of that; I just tell Sasha what she wants to hear.
“It’s just sex. Physical. Nothing more.”
“If you say so.”
“I do say so.”
“Just be careful. Women like her are dangerous. They make you want things you can’t have. Make you believe in futures that don’t exist for men like us. And when it ends, you’re left picking up the pieces of everything you lost while you were distracted.”
“I know what I’m doing.”
“That’s what you said about Natalia. Right up until she nearly got us all killed.”
The reminder makes something cold settle in my stomach. Sasha’s right. I did say that. I was convinced Natalia was different and that I could trust her. I thought love was possible for someone like me.
I was wrong.
“Listen,” she begins, “I just don’t want to watch you fall apart again when this ends. And it will end, Alexei. It always does for people like us.”
“I have to go. I’ll call you later.”
I disconnect before she can respond and stand there in the hallway staring at my phone.
This has to end. Mila has a life she wants to get back to. A doctorate to finish. A future that doesn’t include being tied to a criminal like me.
Even if she wanted to stay, how long before she realizes I’m not worth the risk? How long before she sees an opportunity to use what she knows about me? About my family? About our operations?
Natalia waited two years before she struck. What’s to stop Mila from doing the same?
I should be planning how to extricate myself. How to make sure she’s safe and then let her go back to her normal life before I get in too deep.
Except I’m already too deep. I have been since that night at the safe house. Maybe even since the wedding.
I’m so fucked.