Chapter Sixteen
Myra
One Month Later
I stare blankly at the ceiling while the man who is balls deep in my pussy feverishly pounds into me.
I’ve grown numb over the last two months, so I just lie here.
I cried as much as a person can cry. I have nothing left to give because my stupid fucking family has taken it all from me.
I’ve given up hope that anyone will find me, but they never keep anything close enough so that I can end it all.
Walter and Alvin are very well aware of the fact that if I am given the chance, I will kill myself.
Dominic and Matt are about the only ones who can pull me out of this, but it’s been so long.
They’ll have grieved my loss and moved on by now, I’m sure.
I was reminded consistently that I am replaceable.
Dominic, Matt, Natalie, and Trish had each other before me, and now they are closer.
They don’t need me. Why would they? All I have done is bring chaos to their lives.
I hardly notice when the man finishes. He pulls his condom off and tosses it just like the other two before going upstairs.
I sigh heavily before lazily going to the bathroom to clean myself.
I go through the same routine, but I don’t know why it matters.
All that’s going to happen is Walter will come down with Alvin.
They will rape me in some way and then leave me in the dark.
It used to be that one person paid to take me however they wanted.
That lasted about a month, but now it’s three or four men a day.
Walter and Alvin always go last. If they think I have done well for the day, they feed me.
If not, I go to sleep with my stomach screaming at me for food.
Not that I sleep very well. I spend a lot of the time awake, and I sleep for thirty-minute intervals, but I only end up getting maybe three or four hours of sleep a night.
At least with Leon, I had a real bed. I was never hungry or so cold that it was painful.
I truly don’t know if it can get any worse than this.
I am anticipating their arrival to rape me at any moment, but they don’t come. I grow paranoid after a while because what if they die? Am I just going to sit down here and starve to death? I would much rather just hang myself.
I lay on the mattress and look up at the ceiling, just like I do for most of my day when I’m not being raped or even when I am. There’s no movement in the house. No one is talking. What the fuck do I do now? I have water, so at least I won’t die of dehydration.
Eventually, I doze off. When I wake, nothing has changed.
Maybe this is hell. Maybe when Leon shot the floor, he actually shot me.
I was in heaven for a while with Dominic and the others, but something changed.
I was not supposed to be in such a blissful place.
I am meant for the depths of hell, but the question is, why?
What did I do that was so bad that I deserve to be here?
That’s the thing; I don’t deserve to be here.
I’ve never hurt anyone… Well, besides Leon.
Is this my punishment for defending myself?
It was an accident. I didn’t mean to kill him—I just wanted to get away.
I find myself continuously going through these thoughts, and by the end of it, I always end up back in my pity party.
I just want to go home… I don’t think I have a home anymore, though. I have nothing left to go back to.