Chapter 12 Giulia #2
When I get a message from Luca three days later saying he wants to meet the next night the club is open, my heart lifts and then collapses just as quickly.
For a moment, all I can think about is that he couldn’t wait more than a few days before he needed to see me again…
and then I remember what I have to tell him.
I spend the day in a state of nervous anticipation, unable to focus on anything.
My hands shake when I try to eat breakfast and my stomach churns with anxiety that has nothing to do with morning sickness.
I tell my father I'm spending the evening with Liesl again.
He barely acknowledges the information, too focused on some business problem that has him and Romeo locked in his office for most of the day.
But that evening, after Liesl has gone to bed, I look in the mirror as I start to get ready and realize that I can't do this as Valentina.
I can't tell him the truth while wearing a disguise, while hiding behind a false identity. I can't expect him to understand and forgive when I'm still lying to him in the most visible way possible.
I go into the bathroom and remove the wig carefully, setting it aside, then wash off the heavy makeup that transforms my face. I change out of Valentina's clothes and into my own—a simple black slip dress, nothing too provocative or club-appropriate. Just Giulia.
When I get to the club, I tell one of the attendants that I have a prior date set up with Luca Moretti, and I want to wait in the private room for him. She takes me up and lets me know she’ll bring him when he arrives.
All there’s left to do is wait. The minutes crawl by with excruciating slowness. My heart is pounding so hard I can hear it in my ears. My hands are shaking. My mouth is dry. This is it. This is the moment where everything either comes together or falls completely apart.
I sit on the edge of the bed, my hands clasped in my lap, and try to steady my breathing. In a few minutes, Luca will walk through that door expecting Valentina. And instead, he'll find Giulia.
The door opens and Luca walks in. He's looking down at his phone, typing something, not paying attention. "Sorry I'm late. There was—"
He looks up and freezes.
I watch the confusion cross his face and see the moment where his brain is trying to process what he's seeing, trying to reconcile the woman sitting on the bed with the woman he was expecting to find.
His eyes move over me—my face without makeup, my hair without the wig, my clothes that are nothing like what Valentina would wear.
And then recognition hits. I see the exact moment when it clicks, when his brain makes the connection, and he catches up to who he's looking at. And the confusion transforms into something else that makes my blood run cold.
Horror. Pure, visceral, absolute horror.
His face goes pale. His eyes widen. His body actually recoils, taking a step backward like I'm something dangerous that might hurt him if he gets too close.
"Luca—" I start, standing up, my voice shaking, but I can already tell he’s not listening. He's just staring at me like I'm a stranger, like he doesn't understand and doesn't want to understand.
"It's me," I say quickly, the words tumbling out desperately. "It's been me the whole time. I can explain. I had to—I needed—"
"No." The word is barely a whisper, but it cuts through the air like a knife. "No, this isn't—you can't be—"
"I'm Giulia. I've always been Giulia. Valentina doesn't exist—she's just a name I used because I was afraid. Because I needed to be close to you and this was the only way—"
"Stop." His voice is louder now, harsh. "Just stop talking."
The look on his face is destroying me. It's not anger—anger I could handle. Anger I was prepared for. This is something worse—betrayal and disgust and horror all mixed together. He's looking at me like I'm a monster.
"Please," I beg, taking a step toward him. "Please just let me explain. I love you. I've loved you for years, and I know I should have told you sooner, but I was scared, and I thought—"
"You thought what?" The words are sharp and cutting, slicing down to my heart with every one. "You thought it would be fun to fuck with me? To make me fall for someone who doesn't even exist?"
"She does exist! I exist! I'm the same person—"
"You're not the same person." He's backing toward the door now, his hand reaching for the handle. "You're Giulia Ciresa. You're the don's daughter. You're—fuck, you're Romeo's sister. You're the woman I'm supposed to protect, not—"
He can't even finish the sentence.
"Luca, please—it wasn't lying, not really. Everything I told you was true. Everything we did, everything we felt—that was real. I just—"
"You just what? Decided to play dress-up and seduce me? Decided to see if you could make the soldier fall for you?"
"No! It wasn't like that. I needed—I needed to be someone else. Someone who could have you. Because Giulia Ciresa can't have you, but Valentina could, and I thought—"
"You thought wrong." He opens the door, and the sound of the club floods in—music and voices and the reminder that there's a whole world outside this room where everything is falling apart.
"Wait!" I'm crying now, tears streaming down my face. "There's something else. Something you need to know. I'm—"
The door closes behind him with a finality that echoes through the room, and I'm left standing there, alone, the confession dying on my lips. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant with your baby. We're going to have a child together.
But he's gone before I can say the words, before I can tell him the one thing that might have changed everything. I sink to the floor, my back against the bed, and let the sobs take over.
I've lost him, and it's my own fault, and I don't know how to fix it.
The horror on his face replays in my mind over and over, the way he looked at me like I was something disgusting, something he couldn't bear to be near. The way he walked away without looking back.
I wrap my arms around my stomach—around the baby he doesn't know exists—and cry until there's nothing left.
The truth was supposed to set us free. Instead, it's destroyed us both.