Chapter 11
The fallen leaves crunch under my boots as I walk along the wooded trail. The autumn breeze has a bite to it today and I”m thankful for my wool coat as I clench it tighter around me and dig my hands in the ruby red pockets.
Here I”m able to escape. Surrounded by nature, the pressures of my life fade away and I can hear myself think. No longer struggling with the mask of who I used to be, wrapped up in staying on top of trends, shopping and spending money on things that mean nothing to me. No more worrying about what I don”t remember and who my friends expect me to be.
Here I can simply be myself, with no filters and no mask. The tension I”ve been carrying eases away and I feel like I can breathe again.
I pause at a small creek burbling over rocks and sit on a fallen log. Dipping my fingers in the cool water, I”m struck by its clarity. I think of my own murky memories and how I long to recover that same sense of surety about my past.
But here, listening to the creek”s quiet song, I know at least one truth still rings clear: my love for these woods, for the quiet joy of this unfettered existence.
Raising my face to the sunlight glimmering through the trees, I close my eyes and inhale the cedar and damp earth that surrounds me.
After the trip to the city that Iris and Claire planned, my missing memories have plagued me and I”ve felt even more disconnected from what should have been my closest friends. For not the first time, I wondered how well these friends even knew me.
Iris and Claire, I feel a bond with, because I have known them both almost my entire life. But Amanda and Jessica? I feel as close to them as I do a random stranger I meet on the street. We seem worlds apart.
My mind shifts back to the surrounding woods. For now, it”s enough. It has to be.
Rising, I dust off my pants and continue down the trail, wondering when or if Kieran will show up. I pause at the edge of the clearing, taking in the unbroken expanse of sky above me. The trees fall away, opening up to a vista overlooking the valley below.
A slight movement catches my eye - a presence shifting in the shadows of the trees. I turn, scanning the woods behind me, but see nothing. I blink and that”s when I see him - a tall figure emerging from the trees. As he comes closer, I recognize him. Kieran.
Kieran makes his way towards me. He moves with predatory grace, his dark gaze intent.
I”m rooted to the spot in anticipation. Even the birdsong has stilled. It”s as if the entire forest is holding its breath, transfixed by this man”s commanding presence.
Watching him glide towards me, I can”t help but take in his tall form, dressed in the all black attire I”ve seen him in around town. His black hair falls slightly in his face, casting shadows on his sharp cheekbones.
He steps closer, moving to stand beside me, and leans against the tree trunk. ”We used to see each other.”
”In secret,” he quickly adds, as he sees the furrow appear on my brow. ”We met in these woods, actually”.
”We did?” Shock colors my words. Why has no one mentioned this before now?
His lips curve into a sensuous smile. ”Why do you think this is your favorite spot?”
He continues. ”We met about eight months before your accident. We got to talking and realized we had more in common than one might think. After a few run-ins and a stern talking down from Iris to stay away from you, we kept our relationship secret.”
My mind reels, trying to make sense of his words. ”For how long?” I whisper.
”Until your accident. Until you didn”t remember.” He says simply.
”But that was months ago. You have said nothing until now. Why?” I demand.
He sighs and looks away, running a hand through his dark tresses. ”I thought I was doing you a favor. I knew how much you wanted out. Out of this town, out of this role. I wanted you to have that without me dragging you down. I thought I was giving you what you wanted.”
I cross my arms over my chest. ”Prove it,” I declare, staring him down with a boldness I do not feel.
Kieran simply pulls his phone out from his back pocket, typing something before turning it so I can see what”s displayed.
I peer at the screen, unable to process what I”m seeing at first. Photos. Lots of photos. And video. I tap the first photo, making it larger. It”s us. I glance around. The photo appears to have been taken here, in these woods. I look at the date. Ten months ago. I tap the screen and start scrolling through pictures and video of us here in these woods, by the quarry, the lake. Our arms are around each other. We”re smiling at the camera. There are more images of what looks to be an old farm, where we”re cuddled on a plaid blanket, kissing.
Scrolling, I find more photos of us in my apartment, last December when I had my holiday decorations up. Suddenly Kieran”s hand is there on the phone, taking it away from me. I think I glimpse a bed between my fingers.
”I don”t have any photos of you on my phone. For all I know, these are all fake...” my voice trails off, the disbelief clear in my argument.
”Some of these are from your phone.” Kieran says as he puts his phone back in his pocket. ”After your accident, after I realized you didn”t remember, I deleted all evidence from your phone, email, everything.”
Anger surges through me. ”You deleted them? When? What gave you the right to do that?” I push against him, wanting distance.
Kieran doesn”t move, doesn”t even seem to register my anger. ”When you were in the hospital. I asked your sister for your phone. Told her what I wanted to do. She agreed to go along with it.”
”Wait,” I hold out my hands. ”Iris knew about us?”
He finally looks guilty at that. ”She did. Not at first, but eventually you wanted to tell her. But after the accident, I wanted you to have a fresh start. Not be dragged down by my shadows.” He glances at me. ”You may not remember our relationship, but you”ve lived here your whole life, Avalina. I know you know what I do.”
I shift my weight, suddenly nervous. ”I know the rumors.”
Kieran bites back, ”And what are those rumors, Avalina?”
A shiver ghosts down my spine, but I”m not so sure it”s from nerves this time or if it”s from the way my name sounds on Kieran”s lips.
”That your family is involved in less than savory business.” I slowly make out. Kieran just stares, waiting for me to continue. ”Buying off whoever you want, blackmailing those you can”t.”
”Is that all you”ve heard?”
”Iris may have mentioned to stay away from you and your family. That you”re bad. That you, in particular, aren”t afraid to hurt people to get what you want.”
”Hmm” Kieran”s voice rumbles. ”Your sister is right.”
”All that you”ve heard,” Kieran begins, ”is true. And whatever you think you know about how bad and dark I am, I promise I”m worse.”
Mouth agape, I stare up at him, confused by the picture my words are painting in contrast to the man standing next to me. ”Why are you here now, telling me this?” I peer up at him through my lashes. His chiseled jaw flexes as he stares back at me with those dark eyes.
Suddenly I”m pressed against the tree trunk, his arms caging me in. ”I thought I could do the right thing. I thought I could be the hero for once. Do something good. But I”m not a hero, Avalina. I”m not a good man.”
I swallow, thoughts scrambling to keep up. Iris had briefly mentioned Kieran and the Calder family to me after the accident. I knew who they were, what they supposedly did. But here Kieran was, telling me we had a secret relationship.
Would I have done that? Had a secret relationship with someone who dealt in power and money? Who bribed and extorted to get what they wanted? And even if I had done that, would I do that now?
I blink, realizing how close Kieran still is to me, how I haven”t moved. I put my hands on his chest, thinking I should push him away. But somehow my hands don”t get the signal, and instead of pushing, I”m grip his leather jacket with my fists, inhaling his scent of whiskey and smoke.
I exhale a shaky breath and force my hands to my side.
”This... is a lot to take in.”
”I know.” Kieran steps back, sensing I need space.
”I don”t know...” my voice trails off.
”I know.” Kieran says again. He pulls his phone from his pocket, typing once again.
A ding rings out in the silence. I look at my phone, seeing the text from an unknown number with a link that says, Here”s everything.
”It”s from me,” Kieran states.
I click the link and can only blink as I watch my phone download photos, videos, texts, and emails. All from Kieran. To Kieran. With Kieran.
”It”s everything I deleted. I figured you”d want it back. If you don”t, just delete it.”
I”m out of words. My brain has shut off, overwhelmed by the information. I just stare at my phone, startled as Kieran”s hand touches my cheek, pushing some hair away from my face and behind my ear. His touch ignited an inferno within me, reducing my trepidation to ash.
”I should go,” he murmurs.
Then he turns, his strides quickly putting distance between us.
”Wait!” I call out, desperate and confused. But he”s already walking away, soon disappearing into the shadows of the woods.
I stand alone, my heart racing, my mind spinning as I try to make sense of what just happened.
Only moments ago, I was reveling in the simple joys of nature, content in my solitude. Now everything feels different. Charged. Alive.
My fingers drift to my cheek, chasing the phantom caress of his hand. Kieran. A complete stranger, yet somehow, there is a magnetic pull I don”t understand. Now curiosity burns within me, an insatiable need to unravel the mystery of this dark, intense man. What is this connection between us?
As the rising sun causes the sky to turn from golden pink to bright blue, I pause, realizing I”ve been here much longer than planned. I need answers and I think I know who may have them.