Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Mal
I hadn’t known what I’d find when I came tonight, but I was so glad that I had.
Gray said goodbye to her friend and everyone else and I got to put my hand on her back and lead her toward my car that was parked down the street, making sure she didn’t slip, even though the sidewalk was clear and dry and there was little risk of her falling. I didn’t want to take any chances.
Of course, I lunged in front of her to open the door before she could reach for it.
“Oh,” she said, surprised when I gestured for her to get in. I’d used the remote start so the car was already warming, and the heated seats were going. I wanted her to be comfortable.
Gray sat in the passenger seat and I made sure she was in before closing the door and walking around to the driver’s side.
Gray was quiet as I drove, looking out the window at the houses all lit up.
“Nice neighborhood,” she said.
“It is.”
Ours wasn’t as picturesque, but that couldn’t be helped. Our building was new, and at least it didn’t look like one of those gross industrial boxes. It was all brick and attempted to have character at least.
Not long after, I turned into our complex. The closer we’d gotten, the twitchier Gray had grown in her seat. I’d noticed out of the corner of my eye as I’d done my best to focus on the road in front of me.
I pulled into my spot in the small parking garage and turned off the engine.
“If you want, we can end this here. We can each go to our separate apartments and go to bed. Or, if you want, you can come upstairs with me and we can see where things go. What do you want, Gray?”
If she decided that we should go our separate ways, then I would probably end up completely devastated and moping in my apartment until the early hours of the morning with ice cream and a book, but I’d take the rejection gracefully. Probably.
I made sure she was looking at me when she answered, her breathing a little frantic.
She licked her lips, drawing all my focus to her mouth. “I want the second thing.”
I closed my eyes and sighed. “Thank god.”
Once we reached our floor, she asked if she could have a few minutes.
“Of course,” I said, leaning close to press her into her door. Still hadn’t kissed her. Couldn’t wait, but fuck, I loved the anticipation.
Her eyes were wide as she looked up at me. So pretty.
“I’ll just be waiting one door away,” I said, stepping back and wishing I didn’t have to.
“Just… I’ll only be a few minutes.” She fumbled with the code on the door and definitely put in the wrong one her first two tries. I held back a laugh at how adorably flustered she was.
“Take your time,” I told her, backing away and going to my door, glancing back just once as she finally got the door open and called out to someone.
Huh. Maybe she had a roommate? Could be a pet too. Our building was super pet-friendly, so a lot of people had moved in with their furry friends.
Since I worked so much I hadn’t committed to an animal, but I wasn’t opposed to it. I could see Gray with a cat, probably.
While I pondered Gray and her potential cat, I looked around my apartment and made sure everything was clean and I hadn’t left out any dirty dishes or any of my toys either. I had a bad habit of just leaving them in the bathroom after I cleaned them.
Good, nothing. I still wiped down the counters just in case.
I wasn’t nervous, per se.
Okay fine, I was a little nervous, which was uncomfortable for me. It had been a little while since I’d been with someone. I’d just been so focused on work and hadn’t had much time for other things. Like sex.
There was a knock at the door as I lit one of my favorite scented candles that smelled fresh and clean.
Gray smiled nervously when I opened the door and stood aside for her to come in.
“Sorry. Had to feed the cat.”
I’d read her right.
“Oh, you have a cat? What’s their name?” I asked as I walked backwards into my apartment and she followed, eyes flicking around to take everything in.
I hoped she didn’t think my place was boring.
My tendency was to prefer more black-and-white, and sometimes red, art and decor and not a lot of extra knickknacks.
Dusting annoyed the shit out of me, so I tried not to buy too many things that would require it.
“Her name is Dandelion, but I call her Dandy.”
So sweet.
“Oh, I like your workstation,” Gray said, motioning to my office area by the window.
“Thank you.” I didn’t want to talk about my workstation.
Finally, she turned around and faced me.
“Well?” I asked her.
“Well what?”
“Now that you’ve seen my apartment, do you think you can bring yourself to kiss me?” I was joking, but I was also really hoping the answer was yes.
Gray stepped toward me, a smile playing on her face.
“Oh, I think I can. I mean, if I have to.”
I let out a startled laugh. “Like you’re doing me a favor? I’ll have you know, gorgeous Gray, that I am a phenomenal kisser.”
Her smile was wider as she stopped directly in front of me, gazing up into my face.
“Is that so? How about you prove it? Mal.” She drew out my name and I couldn’t wait anymore.
The fact that I hadn’t kissed her yet was a shock, honestly.
Normally when I saw what I wanted, I went for it, but there was this little added complication of her living next door to me.
Hookups were all well and good, but one of the best parts was that if it didn’t go well, you could limit the potential to see them afterwards, and thus limit the embarrassment.
If things went south with Gray, I was still going to have to see her in the elevator and the parking garage and the trash room until one of us moved. I happened to love my apartment, so that wasn’t happening anytime soon.
With all of that said, I’d made the decision to tell her that this was a bad idea and we should call it a night and maybe we could talk when my fucking libido wasn’t making all of my decisions for me.
Unfortunately, I made the mistake of looking into her eyes and at her mouth and my libido came out the winner.
Gray gasped into my mouth as I pulled her flush against my body, tilting her face up so I could kiss her properly. Fuck, she was just the right height for me to have to lean down just enough but not too much. In her shock, she grasped my upper arms as if she was going to fall.
Don’t worry, baby. I’m not letting you go anywhere.
Her lips were plush and insistent against mine and her tongue wasn’t shy when I coaxed her to open for me. She was perfect.
Making sure to go slowly, I backed her toward my bedroom until her legs hit the edge of my bed.
She let out a little gasp of surprise that I swallowed with a little laugh of my own.
Things had gotten frantic with hands grabbing and pulling at clothes, desperate fingers searching for skin, so I slowed things down a little, deepening our kisses while I kept one hand on the side of her face and the other stroking her back.
Her breath stuttered and I could feel her trembling. Slowly, I pulled away as our eyes opened at the same time.
“Wow,” she said, licking her swollen lips. “You’re very good at that.”
I snorted a laugh. “Told you. You’re very good yourself.” She was. She’d absolutely melted against me and followed my lead as if she’d been waiting for me.
This woman was a dream.
“Thanks.” Her breaths were still shaky.
“You okay?” I asked, running my hand through her hair. This was only a good time if we were both having a good time.
“Uh huh,” she said, nodding a little jerkily. “I’m fine.” Her voice was high.
Okay, time to put on the brakes.
“Do you want to sit on the couch?” Taking this to the living room might be a better idea.
“No, I’m good here.” She sat down with a thump on the bed and gazed up at me.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” I couldn’t stop myself from saying as I rubbed my thumb along her bottom lip.
“You’re so beautiful,” she breathed. “I’ve never…” she trailed off and my alarm bells started blaring. I lunged backward.
“Oh my god, please don’t tell me this is your first time.” What the fuck was she doing at a kink group?! How irresponsible was her friend?
Her eyes went wide as she grabbed onto my hips to stop me from moving away. “No, it’s not my first time! Not even close. I’ve just never hooked up with someone I don’t really know. I’ve always done the relationship thing.” Oh, thank god. That was much better.
I let out a huge sigh of relief. Ushering a newbie through the world of sex wasn’t something I felt qualified to do, and it wasn’t what I was looking for.
“Do you want to stop?” I asked.
She shook her head slowly. “No. I don’t want to stop.”
“Okay. If you do, just tell me. And even before we do anything else, I think we should talk about expectations and limits.”
I should have done that before I kissed her, but I got carried away. Oops.
Gray bit her lip. “Yeah, okay.”
Her cheeks pinked again, and she looked down at her lap.
“Hey,” I said, lifting her chin so she could meet my eyes.
“Don’t be ashamed with me. Ever. I want to know what you want, and I’m going to tell you what I want, and hopefully those two things will line up, but if they don’t, then they don’t.
” It had happened before. Having chemistry with a stranger, getting to the bedroom, and figuring out that not only were you not on the same page, you weren’t even in the same book was a risk I took.
Some people had also gotten turned off when I wanted to pause things before we got naked, and that told me what I needed to know too.
To her credit, Gray looked up at me and nodded, even though she had a little bit of a confused frown on her forehead.
“Okay,” I said, letting out a breath and sitting next to her on the bed, but putting enough space between us so I didn’t touch her.
I couldn’t touch her right now or else I was going to throw this little Q and A session right out the window and fuck her into the mattress the way I’d been wanting to ever since I saw her at Emily and Devi’s.
Silence fell between us and I could feel her nerves. One of her knees had started jiggling and her hands were clasped together in her lap.
“Do you want me to go first?” I asked.
“Uh.” She rubbed her hands on her pants. “Yeah, that might be best. I’m sorry, I’ve never really done it like this before?” It sounded like a question.
“That’s okay. I just…I feel it’s good to set expectations. And at the very least find out our hard limits.”
She nodded. “That makes sense.”
“From what I’ve gathered about you so far, I sense you’re more on the submissive side? Let me know if I’m wrong about that.” It was in the way she responded when I kissed her, and the way she looked at me. I knew I’d read her right.
Gray nodded again, not looking up at me. “Yeah, that’s me. I’m…a subby little bottom. Apparently.” She let out a little laugh, as if it was an inside joke.
“Mmmm, that’s perfect,” I said. She could not be more perfect.
My voice made her look up. “Really?”
“Are you kidding? You’re exactly what I want, Gray. I can be a bit of a switch under certain circumstances or scenes, but I prefer to top and be more dominant. Good for you?”
There. We were getting somewhere.
It took a little bit longer to draw her out, to figure out that on paper, what we wanted from each other was exactly what the other did too. She was up for all kinds of toys, into edging, and was fully on board with me steering the experience. Fucking hell.
“Wow,” she said, her shoulders relaxing slightly from where they’d been up around her ears.
“What is it?” I asked, not being able to stop myself from touching her, pushing some of her hair off her shoulder, letting my fingers linger a little.
“I guess… I didn’t figure out what I liked until I met my ex.
” Her face formed a frown. “Sorry, I know you’re not supposed to bring up exes, but I have to.
She was the one who really let me explore and try things.
We weren’t right for each other in the end, but I did learn a lot.
She was the one who figured out I like—” She cut herself off.
My fingers softly stroked her shoulder, willing her to open up to me. God, she was incredible. I couldn’t wait to see what she looked like when she came. Fuck.
“No shame, Gray,” I reminded her gently. Whatever it was, I wanted to know.
Gray let out a breath. “I like… I want you to…”
I thought about asking her if she wanted to get naked and maybe get more comfortable to tell me, but I didn’t think that would help.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me now. Can I take this off?” I plucked at her shirt. It had little cartoon dancing vibrators on it, and I couldn’t look at it without wanting to laugh.
Her cheeks went pink again and she bit her bottom lip.
“Hey,” I told her, using my thumb to make her release her lip, “that’s my job tonight.”
She gasped as I sucked that very lip into my mouth, kissing her until both of us were panting and I’d worked my hands under her shirt and pushed it up far enough so she could raise her arms and help me lift it off.
Her bra was simple and pink and adorable. It made my mouth water to look at all that creamy skin on display. Her belly was soft, just the kind of belly you wanted to bite and kiss and then pillow your head on to take the best nap of your life.
I was going to spend a significant amount of time worshipping that belly tonight, including her silvery stretchmarks that glowed in the light.
“You’re gorgeous,” I told her, running my fingers up and down her sides. She was still tense, and I wanted to make her feel good. I’d been ready to go full steam ahead, but that wasn’t Gray’s style. Time and care would get me what I wanted. This woman was well worth the effort.
“Come here,” I told her, nearly picking her up and pulling her onto the bed and setting her against the pillows. She let me.
“Mmmm, yes.”
She gazed up at me with all the trust in her eyes.
“Any time you want to stop or take a break, you tell me, okay? And I’ll tell you the same. Yes?”
I looked away from her gorgeous body to her stunning face.
“Yes,” she said, licking her lips. “Can you kiss me?”
“Yes, Gray. I can kiss you.”
The way she’d asked me was so sweet and so sexy I was ready to come and I was still fully clothed.