Chapter 4
4
As they were deplaning at Indonesia’s I Gusti Ngurah Rai Air Force Base adjacent to the Bali International Airport, Sadie worked at keeping her eyes to herself. It wasn’t easy with all that flexing movement. What the heck was wrong with her? She was around these types of men all the time, and they weren’t as distracting as her grumpy sleeping beauty.
Okay, she had to modify that. She hadn’t been around special operators. She hadn’t had the opportunity to work with the SEALs yet. So, they must be here for protection. After Dylan’s murder, the Navy would want to protect their valuable personnel, which included her. It took numerous man-hours and a lot of money and time to train a diver. Losing even one was devastating to the service.
In preparation for a possible deployment to special forces, she had watched a few documentaries on not only BUD/s but SEALs in general, especially enjoying the TV series, which she’d liked so much. It had been gritty and realistic, and often heart-wrenching.
Sadie had concluded that SEALs weren’t really made. In her mind, the Navy could only take those raw elements, physical strength, academic intelligence, mental tenacity, and unwavering commitment, and allow them to evolve into these warriors. The SEALs were dedicated to their teammates in a way that was unimaginable for most Americans. No matter how far the Navy went to train and educate them on everything from war to moral responsibility, their ethical and patriotic foundations were laid long before the Navy had anything to do with it.
These men were a cut above. After all that watching, and from her own experience with becoming a diver, she was aware she was walking amongst the one percent of men in this country who never quit, never gave up, and were never out of the fight. These men who often had to travel thousands of miles in just a few hours, just to be inserted by physically exhausting methods so as not to be detected, while carrying a load that would make a pack mule balk. They were often cold, wet, sleep-deprived, and hungry…for days.
But after the information dump, she was more confused than ever about this deployment. Diving was always dangerous, but this was over the top. Wasn’t it? What was going on that required this type of protection? This mission didn’t seem worth their time.
As Sadie glanced back toward the aircraft, she could see the SEALs collecting their equipment. They were tossing around their steel-caged tactical lockers like they weighed nothing, but the way it made their biceps bulge told her differently. All right, she thought, that was enough of that thinking, because she was getting turned on.
She took in her surroundings. She had been deployed more than a few times but never in this country. Bali was a province of Indonesia, along with three small islands off its coast. They had landed in the provincial capital of Denpasar, one of the most overcrowded cities with most of its population Hindu. Bali had a couple of distinctions. It was part of the Coral Triangle, filled with the highest biodiversity of marine species, especially fish and turtles. It was also in a dangerous network called the Ring of Fire, extending to Peru and Chile on the other side of the ocean. This ring was full of active and inactive volcanoes and earthquakes. Bali’s Mount Agung, one of the biggest, and had recently erupted only a few years ago. All that power under the surface just waiting to explode and consume everything around it reminded her of the grumpy SEAL.
How would that kind of man be in bed? Aggressive and fast like his lifestyle? Gentle and slow? Suddenly, against her will, her senses came alive, adding to the desire unfurling inside her. Stars, he had the broadest shoulders, and since she was so close behind him, she could smell the arousing scent of a hot-blooded male.
Whatever way he was in private, she had no doubt he had a thing for control, a dominant male who couldn’t be anything other than sexually assertive. But that also turned her on. Maybe in her job she had to be confident and tough, but with him, she’d revel in surrendering and had no qualms about being overpowered, taken. The thrill of it coursed through her. It could only be temporary, of course, as she was focused on advancing in her career, and time was so limited. Besides, she often found it hard to say no in normal circumstances. If she got involved with a man like that, she worried he would overwhelm her senses until she was just too pliable. There didn’t seem any danger of that since he’d rejected her completely. Oh well, a girl could dream.
Undeniably turned on, her own body responded to the onslaught of her wicked thoughts. Her breasts grew tight, her stomach tumbled, and she pulsed with an aching need between her thighs thinking about this powerful man sliding deep, deep inside her…
This was a first for her, and her face grew hot, then hotter, the warm, humid air of Bali doing nothing to alleviate that heat. She had no idea why she was reacting to him this way, especially after he’d been so rude. She’d heard about chemistry, but she’d never experienced anything like this.
Her grumpy sleeping beauty and his buddies hit the bottom of the plane’s ramp, immediately drawing stares from anyone in the vicinity, which probably wasn’t an unusual reaction when the eight of them were together. They all possessed that military demeanor and confident attitude, and as a group in a male-dominated job, the intimidation factor was limitless.
They crossed the runway to the terminal and filed inside. They regrouped near the entrance, and Sadie’s stomach protested loudly, so loudly one of the SEALs turned to look at her.
“Right? Making a beeline to the food the minute I get a chance.” He flashed her a boyish grin. He reached out his hand. “Easy—Matt Hitchcock.”
She shook his hand and smiled back. “So, why are you guys here?”
He smiled again. “For you.”
She had suspected as much, but it was just a bit more exhilarating to know it for a fact. She was only one diver among many who would be salvaging the wreck, but it made her feel very special to be assigned these men to protect her.
“Thank you.”
He nodded. “I’m sure we’ll get a brief, but, in the meantime, I can introduce you to the guys. That’s Shark, then Flash. The big guy is Brawler, then our Master Chief Bondo, and our LT Tex. That guy is Dagger, and next to him is our medic, Twister.”
Twister . She was feeling all twisted up right about now. That name fit her grumpy sleeping beauty to a T. She definitely wasn’t in Kansas anymore.
“If you scowl any harder, you’re going to hurt yourself. She’s not the enemy, Twist.” Dagger walked beside him, talking long strides. Both of them were starving and the terminal promised food…especially coffee. He could use a hot cup of java right about now. That short nap on the plane took some of the edge off, but he wouldn’t say no to more sleep.
Twister was only half listening to Dagger’s rant over the quality of the coffee. Truth was, it wasn’t that bad. Dagger had just become a coffee snob since that shop opened around the corner from his house. And, he had no idea how dangerous Sadie was to him. His conscience was getting the better of him. He had been so fucking rude, and it didn’t sit well with him.
They entered the terminal and made their way to the commercial part of the airport to pick up their transportation. “She’s…scary.”
Dagger chuckled. “What? She’s adorable, with some very nice assets. Really. She doesn’t look like she’d hurt a fly.”
“Maybe not physically.”
“Ah, I see.”
“Don’t say it like you’re some kind of sage on relationships.”
Dagger chuckled again. “Wow, she’s got you spinning.”
“I was so fucking rude,” he growled. It was his upbringing. His parents were amazing in so many ways, but giving him manners, even though he was as unruly as hell, was one of the more ingrained ones. He’d hurt her feelings. She tried to shake it off, but he’d actually made her feel bad for helping him.
“You do wake up grumpy,” Dagger said like he was talking to a little boy.
“This isn’t funny, Kade.”
“It is to me. You are always so focused on everything to do with other people, especially the team. You’re allowed a life, Twist. What we do is integral, and anyone who gets involved with us has to understand that, but that doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice everything.”
Something about Dagger’s words stuck in his head. He couldn’t quite understand why they resonated with him just yet, but he would. There was so much noise from Sadie, and his volatile situation, and he was hungry, thirsty, and sleep-deprived.
“You know there’s a procedure you could do to alleviate these symptoms of regret.”
“Oh, what is that?”
“It’s called an apology. Go talk to the woman. She’s not going to bite…well, maybe not now, but later?—”
“Shut the fuck up.” He didn’t want to go there, but Dagger’s words unlocked the floodgate. He wouldn’t mind if she bit him, and other hot, sexual things. It was such a primal act, and it turned him on thinking about those beautiful white teeth nipping at his flesh. He’d never been in such sexual torment. If he felt something, he acted on it. He was a straightforward guy, but he found himself retreating from that aggressive part of himself when it came to Sadie. She spooked him with her compassion, her innate understanding, and her ability to soothe with just her voice and eyes. It made him shiver. She gave him the shivers again as he watched her talking to Easy, shaking his hand when Twister had rejected the overture so rudely, his regret clawing at him again. Easy was so damn easy to get along with. He was pointing them out, and when they got to him, he slammed into Sadie’s gaze.
She lifted her chin a little, and dammit he loved her spunk. She met his eyes unflinchingly, the instantaneous sparks of awareness between the two of them nearly tangible. He certainly felt the heat. The way she took several hard breaths made him think of exertion, the naked, panting, aching, fulfilling-fucking kind of activity.
His dick went hard as granite. Dagger was so right. She was freaking adorable, and that only added to his mental turmoil while his body was on full go alert, adrenaline pumping, giving him both a body and head rush.
He met her direct, almost innocent gaze that was as unnerving as it was on the plane. Her soft brown eyes, an extraordinary amber hue, seemed to see past the facade he’d erected to cover his problem, making him aware of how much Dagger had been right about him walling himself up over the years. Walls that had been necessary to keep his real emotions under wraps. Everything about her felt personal, as if she found him much too intriguing to allow her embarrassment to rule her. Something else he liked about her. He was telling the truth with Dagger. She was dangerous with her uncanny ability to unsettle him so effortlessly. She did scare the crap out of him.
His only saving grace was that she was unaware of how much she affected him. And she never would, he vowed, because he wasn’t about to let down his guard or allow her to rattle his control.
But instead of dropping her head, shuffling her feet, or looking awkward, she smiled at him as if she was dismissing his bad behavior in such an understanding way that quickly he was back to thinking about her in a way that was detrimental to his equilibrium. He wanted to see what those smiling lips tasted like…was there innocence there, or would she live up to that provocative name of hers? He wanted to show her with his mouth, hands, body, and dick exactly what she did to him, finding and consuming every hot, sweet female part of her.
“We have some time to get some chow,” Tex said. “Our ride won’t be here for forty-five minutes. Some mix-up with the powers that be as to our arrival.” Shrugging off his too-stimulating thoughts, he lifted a brow her way, and damned if she didn’t tilt her head and smile in the wake of his scowl.
“Uh, we don’t have any money, LT,” Brawler said.
“I’ve got you covered,” their handler, Jason Baldrick said, pulling out a stack of Rupiah, the Indonesian currency, and handing it out like they were little kids getting their allowance. But it was a fact that they didn’t carry anything but their gear when on a mission.
Flash counted his five bills. “Master Chief, what can I buy with 500,000 Rupiah?”
“Not much more than a couple of burgers.”
“Well, there goes my dreams of retiring on a secluded island with a couple of long-legged babes.” The banter continued between the SEALS as they made their way through the airport, and they all joined in to razz Flash about his retirement plans, seeing that he didn’t have one long-legged babe, much less two.
Sadie stood there for a moment in a sensual cloud. The way that man looked at her…. Wow. A shiver shuddered through her, puckering her nipples against her T-shirt and sparking a tumble of excitement in the pit of her belly. Sometimes she cursed her ability to read people, and his reaction to her read like an exotic story. It could be attributed to the fact that she hadn’t had sex in a long time—her luck with men had been so bad, most of them didn’t even call her back. It could be that the chemistry that had ignited between them was just a perfect storm of diverging body and mind clashes. But she didn’t think so. She had made a connection with him, and it had unsettled him…and her…too. She was aching to know why.
Her stomach twisted hard with such a wave of hunger it distracted her from Twister.
This airport was the main one on the island and served something like twenty million tourists. It was mind-boggling. So when they reached the area where they were going to get a pick-up, Sadie and the team made a beeline for one of the coffee services. Her stomach rumbled again.
The shop was near a stairway, and as they all got in line, she noticed that most of the tourists were moving around the terminal in common tourist fashion: full out, dragging cases and small children with them.
Her hunger was momentarily forgotten as she noticed a man standing in the middle of the chaos, not moving, and just looking strange. After she got her coffee and egg-and-cheese breakfast sandwich, she noticed that he hadn’t moved. As she wolfed down her food and sighed at the creamy taste of her latte, she watched him.
She got a really uncomfortable vibe from the guy. Tossing her empty cup and wrapper in the trash, she approached Tex, the man that Easy had pointed out to her as their lieutenant.
He was talking to the bald, massive master chief. She tapped him on his broad shoulder, and he turned to her with raised brows. “Sir, I apologize for interrupting your conversation, but I think there’s something going on with that guy who hasn’t moved in like fifteen minutes. He’s giving me the creeps.”
Tex nodded, his eyes narrowing. “Good eye. We thought the same thing, and airport security has already been alerted.”
“Of course. You guys would be aware of that kind of thing.”
She retreated from him, especially after interrupting his conversation with the formidable master chief. Tired, she leaned against the stair railing and tried with all her might to keep her eyes off Twister. But she noticed he broke off from the group and started toward her. Her stomach fluttered, and her chest compressed. Was he coming over here to talk to her?
Suddenly, someone shouted, “Bomb!”
People screamed and there was a mad dash toward the exits, the crush of panicked, fleeing bodies clogging all avenues of escape.
Before she could react, Twister came barreling toward her, grabbing her and pulling her into the well behind the stairs, shoving her down and covering her body just as the blast sent debris—drywall, wood, and glass toward them. She could only hope the stair structure held, or they would be crushed.
In the muffled darkness, she could hear the reverberation of the blast mixed with screams of pain. He shielded her head as more debris fell, then he rolled, taking her with him as a chunk of drywall crashed into the small space, pushing them back toward the base of the stairs, both of them coughing. She felt every hard inch of him, especially his arms tight around her, holding her against his defined chest and lean belly.
“Are you hurt?” His voice was a deep rumbling in her ears.
“I don’t think so,” she said into his chest. “Oh, God. I knew that guy was squirrely…oh man, all those people. We need to help?—”
“Not right now,” he said, his voice raspy and breathless. “We’re trapped in here.”
She took in his dark hair that fell over his brow, mussed from the exertion, peppered with dust and white drywall, the chiseled cut of his jaw and beautiful mouth. The deep brown shade of his eyes looked a bit off, almost glassy. Was he the one who was injured?
“Are you hurt?” she whispered.
He stared at her, his eyes intense and searching, as if he was trying to figure her out, who she was beyond the woman he’d just met. At that moment, she felt a sudden shift between them. Her pulse leapt, and she realized that there was something unique about this man. Something not easily dismissed. He had an enormous power to discern people as well as she did, and that realization shook her to the very core of her being. Unable to look away, she took a hard breath.
“I’m—” His voice broke, and her stomach sank hard. His breathing increased dramatically, the kind of hyperventilating type of breathing that didn’t bode well. There was that same look in his eyes when he’d woken up from that nightmare, but now she had to wonder if he was living that nightmare in his waking hours, too. Flashbacks.
But she also saw his loneliness, that he didn’t expect to have anyone understand him, and didn’t want to show any kind of weakness. She understood that, too. The pain and hurt from the way her family had treated her had been rough. Even now, she felt old, buried resentment rise to the surface. Emotions she hadn’t allowed herself to feel. It was easier that way, easier to pretend that everything was okay, even when it wasn’t. The dark, earthy hue of his eyes searched hers, and she silently offered comfort and compassion that made her feel connected to him in a way that she’d never experienced before.
His big body shuddered, and he buried his face against her neck, his ragged breath hot and damp against her skin.
She racked her brain to try and think of a way to help him. Talking wasn’t going to do it, even though that was still an option.
They were trapped, and the instant he realized how small the space was, the worse his chest tightened. Panic, stark and razor-sharp, skittered across every nerve ending. The rush of alarm was so intense that for an instant, he thought his heart would stop altogether. It wasn’t like the two times before when he felt he could breathe and control the fear. Tightening his arms around her, panic compressed his lungs, and a frantic sense of urgency went through him—that feeling of running out of time.
His immediate concern was Sadie. He’d been coming over here to apologize for his behavior. The way he acted did not sit well with him. But when he’d heard someone shout about the bomb, his instincts kicked in, and he’d gotten her to the closest shelter he could find. He knew that everything turned on a dime, and they all operated on the premise that it only takes a few critical minutes to do harm, to them, to civilians, to people under their protection, to America. Tex expected him to think and act independently to accomplish any task or mission.
The next few minutes were a jumble of fear and panic and short periods of him trying to convince himself that he was overreacting. He could overcome this.
But the panic gripped him in a vise, the memories of being trapped beneath all that rock and debris in Haiti, the pain and the sense of helplessness swamped even his formidable struggle to get himself under control. Against his hardest attempts, he was coming apart piece by piece, and that hollowness that came with these panic attacks seemed deeper and darker. They had to get out of here before they suffocated.
It was the fatigue that was beating him, and his anger almost burned away the panic, but he couldn’t quite get a handle on it. He was tired, his energy was low, and he was losing his shit right in front of this woman who he had been trying to save from the effects of the blast.
She would see him, see right into the raw, terrible center of him to where he was right now, that enclosed spaces brought on these feelings and those frightening flashbacks. He was a SEAL. He had been through the most difficult training on the planet. He could overcome this. He had to before?—
Sadie moved, then the sound of her voice, soft and unsure. “Twister…” He realized that she had been saying his name for a while now, but he’d been lost in the swirling swamp of his goddamned emotions.
He looked at her, working at keeping his expression neutral. “What is it?” His voice was tight and uneven, feeling as if every muscle in his body was stretched to the limit.
She was watching him with a worried expression. “What’s wrong…besides the fact that we’re trapped in this tiny space with the threat of collapse?”
His chest expanded, and the panic gripped even tighter. He fought to remain here with her, but he was losing that battle. “I’m okay,” he said, but his voice was weak, and his breathing was too rapid.
There was a tiny tremor in her voice when she responded, “Why don’t I believe you?”
His whole body trembling, Twister clenched his jaw, his heart now slamming against his chest, the intensity of his fear and panic on the rise. Feeling as if everything was closing in on him and his control was gone, he was exposed and vulnerable, two things he hated like hell to be.
Hauling in ragged breath after ragged breath, his chest heaving, he squeezed his eyes shut, as if that would somehow block out the awful sense of panic overwhelming him. His hands started trembling, and he didn’t know what would be worse. Release her and not have her to hold on to or leave them and add fuel to that damn dangerous fire he was building here.
Feeling as if his lungs were closing up on him, his throat tightened. He tried to focus on her, noting the dismay in her eyes, but the memories kept intruding until he saw nothing but solid rock and violent shudders coursed through him. That look in her eyes was enough to rip the heart right out of him.
His heart hammering, his breathing so labored he felt almost dizzy, he weakly rested his head against hers, his whole body shaking. He felt as if he was being wrenched in two. He spiraled down and got lost in his mind with no seeming way out.
He clenched his teeth. He would find one. His training exposed every weakness in him. But he was determined to never give up. He’d endured all those sudden-death overtime periods with a never-ending push for internal fortitude to continue when there was nothing left to give, yet somehow finding it inside himself to make it happen.
He wouldn’t let Sadie down, he wouldn’t let his team down, and he’d be goddamned if he would let himself down.
He was momentarily trapped in his own mind. He didn’t know why this woman scared him so much, and he had no idea how he was going to explain everything, what he was feeling, which was beyond words, terrified, and so horribly alone.
“I’m sorry for the way I acted,” he whispered, feeling the strength and warmth of her body so close to him, but not close enough, not yet. It had been so long since he’d had anyone of his own…maybe never, and he didn’t want to die, or have her die, before he offered her that small, simple apology. It meant everything to him.