Chapter 6 New Year’s
SIX
NEW YEAR’S
Milly
The days drag on, each one blending into the next as I find myself stuck in a cycle of ignoring Twitch and throwing myself into work.
It’s easier that way—keeping busy, keeping my mind occupied.
But no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop thinking about him.
Seeing Mercedez all over him that night hurt more than I care to admit.
It was like a knife twisting in my chest, even though I have no right to feel that way.
He’s not mine, and I keep reminding myself of that.
Still, I’ve noticed she hasn’t been sleeping in his bed.
That small detail shouldn’t matter, but it does.
It gives me a sliver of hope I don’t want to have.
I have feelings for him—real, undeniable feelings—and I wish I could just turn them off.
I wish I could shove them deep, deep, deeep down where they can’t hurt me anymore.
But I can’t. No matter how hard I try, they keep bubbling to the surface, refusing to be ignored.
Today I can’t hide behind work. I’ve been given New Year’s Eve off, and while I should be grateful for the break, it leaves me with too much time to think.
I offered to help in the kitchen, but the women waved me off, insisting they had it covered.
Honestly, I don’t blame them. Elena, Sophie, and I aren’t exactly known for our culinary skills.
With nothing else to do, I decide to join Sophie at the gym. It’s better than sitting around the clubhouse, stewing in my own thoughts. At least at the gym I can work out some of this pent-up frustration and maybe clear my head.
I’m huffing and sweating on the elliptical, looking like a drowned rat, while Sophie runs beside me, her glorious hair fluttering, hardly breaking a sweat.
Some people are just blessed. I am not one of them.
I wipe my sweaty forehead, slow down, and take a long drink from my water bottle, feeling immediately refreshed.
I’m on my feet all day during twelve-hour shifts, but fast-paced cardio makes me feel like I’m dying. “I can’t do any more,” I say through heavy breaths.
“Yes, you can,” Sophie says encouragingly. “You’ve got this.”
I step off the elliptical on unsteady legs.
“No, I don’t got this at all.” My hands go above my head as I try to breathe in more air.
“So what’s happening tonight?” I haven’t been to the clubhouse for New Year’s because I usually work.
I probably wouldn’t have come anyway when none of the men had any ol’ ladies and it was just them partying.
“Bomber got some fireworks, so that will be good. I’ll be doing the shots and cocktails. Ava’s in charge of the food. It’ll just be music, dinner, and drinks.” Her eyes narrow. “Twitch better let me choose some songs. The men always hog the music with their heavy metal.”
I try not to laugh. I have no doubt Sophie will get her way. “I’ll steal his phone for you if they don’t let you choose a song.”
She gives me a crooked grin. “I like how you’re thinking. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that.”
“Are you getting dressed up?” I ask.
She gives me a funny look.
Stupid question. “Of course you are.” It’s Sophie I’m talking to.
Sophie laughs, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “You should too. I know it’s just us here, but sometimes it’s nice to dress up for yourself. To feel beautiful, you know? It always gives me a confidence boost.”
I raise an eyebrow, smirking. “You? Needing a confidence boost? Please. You’re basically a Victoria’s Secret model.”
She grins, flipping her hair dramatically. “Oh, stop. But also, go on.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “I’m serious. You’re gorgeous, Sophie. You don’t need a dress or makeup to feel confident.”
“It’s not about needing it. It’s about doing something for yourself. When I take the time to dress up, even if it’s just for me, it reminds me that I’m worth the effort. You should try it sometime.”
Her words stick with me. Maybe she has a point.
It’s been a while since I’ve done something just for me—something that makes me feel good, confident, beautiful.
After the kidnapping, I wasn’t myself for a while.
It was like I was in someone else’s body, and I couldn’t shake how on edge I felt, even though I knew I was safe and those men were dead.
It’s taken time, but I’m starting to feel like myself again.
I guess when that kidnapper hinted that he was going to rape me, all I wanted to do was dress down and be unattractive.
He made me feel dirty. Now that I’m getting my confidence back, maybe I should dress up.
“I’ll give it a shot. But don’t expect me to strut around like you do.”
Sophie winks. “Oh, honey, no one can strut like me.”
On my way to the shower, I see Zara. I give her a smile and a quick hug. “I’m so excited for you,” I tell her, glancing down at her baby bump. “How are you doing? I feel like I’ve hardly had a chance to talk to you about it all.”
“Thank you.” She smiles brightly. “This pregnancy is really taking it out of me.” She rubs her tummy, and it’s the cutest thing. “I’ve been going to bed real early, and with the vomiting and still working the same hours at the shelter, it’s been rough.”
I put a hand on her arm. “I have one word for you: delegate. The shelter is a lot to manage, and you need to lean on your staff. Rest is important, my love, and you’re going to need to get as much as possible before this beautiful baby comes.”
She lets out a little sigh. “Bomber’s been onto me about cutting my hours and relaxing more. It’s just that I built that shelter from the ground up. The work we do for women and children is important. I’d hate for anything to fall through the cracks.”
“I understand, but it’s also important to manage your stress levels and get rest. Just try to lean on your staff. You might be surprised at how capable they are.”
She nods. “Okay, I will.”
“If you have any concerns about the baby, I’m always here for you, no matter what.”
“Thank you. I do feel better knowing you’re close by if I ever need help.”
Happiness bursts inside my chest. I’d do anything for these women.
I shower, then scan my wardrobe. Being a simple woman, I choose a dark purple dress with a subtle floral pattern and long sleeves.
I’ll wear it with my boots. I style my hair in waves and add subtle makeup.
The music downstairs grows louder, but I pause before going down.
I’m not in the mood yet. I need a little me time.
I borrowed one of Elena’s romance books, so I lean back on the bed and begin to read.
Hours go by. It’s so easy to get lost in a book. I must admit, I’m kind of jealous of how easy the main character’s life is.
I decide to finally make an appearance and go downstairs. Sophie is behind the bar. When I reach the bottom of the stairs, our eyes meet. She lets out a dramatic sigh. “Finally, you’re here. Now you need to catch up on drinks.”
I chuckle and glance around. Everyone must be outside, so I go to the bar. “What have you got for me?”
She picks up two pink shots and puts them in front of me. “Two wet pussies,” she purrs. “I put your pina colada in the fridge because I didn’t know how long you’d be.”
Her excitement makes me smile. I take one shot, then the second, feeling the burn of the alcohol and tasting a tinge of sweetness. I cough. “I don’t mind that one.”
“I bet you don’t,” she says, giggling. She’s so sassy.
My phone pings with a message from Edward.
I hope you have a great New Year with your family.
Thank you! I hope you have a great New Year too!
“What are you smiling at?” Her voice carries all the innuendo.
“Edward sent me a New Year’s message, wishing me a good night.”
She flutters her eyelashes. “How is McDaddy?”
I chuckle and think before I speak. “He’s nice and professional.”
“Nice . . .” She sputters. “Oh, please.” She rolls her eyes. “At least you have someone hot to look at while you’re at work.”
True.
“Let’s go outside. Everyone else is out there,” she says.
“Did you get your song yet?” I ask.
She narrows her eyes. “Not yet.”
“I’ll go get his phone for you.”
“Muwahaha,” she says evilly.
We head out to the backyard, and I glance around until I see Twitch sitting at the table next to Axle and Viper. Sophie takes a seat next to Viper and gives him a chaste kiss on the lips.
“Twitch,” I say.
He looks at me, and his heated eyes roam over me. Axle notices and elbows him in the ribs. Some men think Twitch has the hots for me, and Ivy said Axle teases him about it.
“Can you come and help me with the internet?” I ask. “My phone’s not connecting properly.”
“Yeah, sure,” he replies with a wicked glint in his eyes.
Peeking over my shoulder, I see him watching my ass as I walk. When we go inside, he says. “Let me have a look at it for you?”
I look around. The kitchen and hallway are empty. I grab Twitch’s arm and pull him around the corner. “I told a fib. I just wanted to talk to you.”
He gives me a slow, seductive smile. “You want to talk to me now? Looks like you wanted nothing to do with me the past few days.”
I bite my lip, unsure whether I want to tell him why. “Well, you and Mercedez were looking really close again, so I thought I’d keep my distance. I didn’t want to disrupt whatever you two have got going on.”
He laughs. “There’s never anything going on between me and her.” He cocks his head. “Were you jealous?”
“No,” I’m quick to reply. “I thought I was doing the right thing.” Was I jealous? Of course I was, but I’m not going to tell him that.
I take a step toward him until our bodies meet, and I feel the scorch of heat go straight through me.
I reach up under his shirt, and I touch his hard abs.
His body shakes and he sucks in a breath.
I smile. My other hand goes to his jeans, and I slide it into his pocket. Score! I pull out his phone.
“What are you doing?” he asks, his voice husky.