Chapter 12
TWELVE
THE BARBECUE
Milly
Last night at work was surprising. During my break, Edward asked me to lunch again.
I went because he’s a friendly guy and is turning out to be a good friend.
We chatted, and I couldn’t resist teasing him about how the nurses and patients practically have love hearts coming out of their eyes when they see him.
It’s become my favorite form of entertainment—watching the young nurses turn beet red when they talk to him is hilarious.
But then, out of nowhere, he asked me if I wanted to go on a date.
I froze. My heart started pounding and my breathing became erratic.
I was in total shock. I stumbled over my words, stuttering like an idiot.
My throat was dry, and I finally managed to say, “I’ll get back to you with an answer soon.
” It’s been on my mind ever since. I’m torn because he’s a great guy, but I can’t deny my feelings for Twitch.
I push the thoughts to the back of my mind as I cautiously walk into the clubhouse. My heart is thumping in my chest until I see two of my close friends, Ava and Ivy. They rush toward me, and Ivy squeals as they hug me. I’m sandwiched between them.
“I’ve missed you,” Ivy says, and my chest warms. It’s nice to be missed and cared for.
Ava inches back. “Me too. I know it hasn’t been long, but it feels like ages since I’ve spoken to you. Is everything okay?”
No, it’s not, but I smile. “Yes, sure. Sorry I’ve been quiet. I’ve been so busy with work.” I swallow down the lump in my throat. The lies keep piling up, and I hate it. I’m not a person who deceives others, especially my friends, but I feel as though I’m backed into a corner with no way out.
Ivy’s face softens. At least she knows what I’m going through. I need one friend to talk to. The whole situation is driving me crazy.
“Do you need any help in the kitchen?” I ask Ava, desperate to change the subject.
“Oh, no, it’s all sorted. The sweet butts are helping.”
I cringe at the thought of Mercedez. Today is going to be interesting . . .
“I’d better go back and make sure everything is ready. The men are outside by the barbecue. Go grab a drink and relax.”
I smile at Ava. She’s so lovely, and I’m grateful my brother met someone as sweet as her. She’s tried to make this clubhouse feel like home.
Once Ava leaves, Ivy turns to me, her expression serious. “Okay . . . what’s really going on?”
I glance about, seeing no one close by. It seems everyone is out in the backyard.
“Mercedez told Twitch she’d kill herself if he decided to be with me, so I left the clubhouse.
I didn’t want to cause any more trouble, and even though I hate what Mercedez has caused, I don’t want to make the situation worse.
I can see she’s in pain, but . . .” My voice trails off as dark emotions settle over me like a shadow, a heaviness I can’t seem to shake.
Ivy places a comforting hand on my arm, silently encouraging me to continue.
“It’s been so hard at home.” I take a deep breath, trying to calm the flood of emotions rushing to the surface.
“I didn’t realize how much I missed being here.
Twitch was there when I had nightmares, and I got to see friendly faces all the time.
My house is too quiet. I’m not big on socializing, but it feels right here.
” I glance around the clubhouse. “At home, I’m lonely.
” The admission sends a ripple through my body.
I’ve never been someone with a lot of friends. I’ve always tried to be kind, but I didn’t forge real friendships until I met the women at the clubhouse. And now, with my new friends, I don’t feel welcome here because of Mercedez. Any mistake could be catastrophic for me and Twitch.
Ivy gives me another tight hug. “Mercedez seems like nothing happened, to be honest.”
Goosebumps erupt on my arms. “What do you mean?” My breath seizes. “Are Twitch and her back to what they used to be like?”
She shakes her head. “Not back to that. He still doesn’t allow her into his room.
He spends most of his time in the office or in his bedroom.
I overhead Axle say he’s hiding from Mercedez in there.
I’ve been watching Twitch. He flinches when she gets too close or puts a hand on his arm, but he’s not exactly telling her off for it.
I think he’s trying to keep the peace. He’s in a terrible position. ”
My gut drops. I rub my aching chest, trying to ease the pain. “It’s not fair.” He’s trying to do the right thing, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Ivy links her arm in mine. “Try to ignore it. We’ve missed you, and I want you to have a good day. You’re always welcome here, and, hopefully, Mercedez will grow up and come to her senses.”
I give Ivy a small smile. I very much doubt it.
We walk through the clubhouse and out the back door.
The smell of barbecuing meat greets my nostrils.
The beat of heavy metal thumps in the background.
A few of the men’s heads turn our way, and a smile spreads across my brother’s face.
He strides over and pulls me into a bear hug.
“It’s good to see you back,” he says warmly.
I chuckle. It hasn’t been long at all, but it’s nice to see everyone again.
All the ol’ ladies are gathered around the large wooden table, so I take a seat next to Zara and Ivy. Twitch and Rage are also there. I give everyone a tight smile, but I refuse to look at Twitch for too long, afraid of what I might see—or feel. Zara smiles, though she looks a little pale.
“It’s good to see you again,” I say. “How’s the pregnancy going?”
Her smile falls. “I’m still really sick and lethargic all the time, but I think it’s part of being pregnant.”
“Did the doctor give you any nausea tablets?”
She nods. “They work if I can keep them down and not throw up that day.”
She’s responsible, but I reply with, “Just don’t miss any of your prenatal appointments.”
“I won’t.” She bites her bottom lip, hesitating. “I’m scared something will go wrong.”
I put my hand on hers. “That’s normal. If you ever have any questions, let me know. I’m always here for you.”
Her shoulders relax, and she gives me a small, grateful smile. “Thanks so much.”
Ava, along with the sweet butts, bring out the side dishes—corn on the cob, fried rice, mac and cheese, and salad—and centers them on the table.
I see Mercedez, but I avoid making eye contact.
I just need to get through today. Ava wouldn’t take no for an answer when she invited me, and when I said I couldn’t make it, she made sure the barbecue didn’t happen until I was available.
I couldn’t say no to that. If I had, she would’ve become even more suspicious about why I’ve been keeping my distance.
“Lunch is ready,” Reaper declares, and the men take a seat around the wooden table next to their partners.
The meat is put in the middle, and we all fill our plates.
“So . . . Milly, how’s McDaddy doing?” Sophie purrs his name in a teasing, seductive tone.
I choke on my saliva, and everyone glances my way as Ivy pats my back.
I see Mercedez place her hand on Twitch’s arm.
My stomach twists, and my nostrils flare as I glare at her hand.
He doesn’t ask her to move it. My fists clench under the table.
If they’re close again, I guess I can freely date too.
“He ummm . . . asked me out on a date,” I say, and then take a long swig from my wine to avoid looking at anyone.
“What?” Twitch asks, his voice rougher than usual. His eyes widen as he realizes his outburst.
McDaddy asking me out was unexpected and random.
He enjoys spending time with me, but I’m torn about what to do.
I hadn’t decided until I saw Mercedez’s hand on Twitch’s arm.
I’m not ready to get involved with someone else, but I’m overrun and burning with jealousy.
The bitterness is rotting me from the inside out.
“Woohoo!” Sophie cheers. “I need a picture of this guy ASAP.”
Viper raises a brow. “Really? Do you now?” he asks her.
Sophie replies, “Yes, really. I’m nosy. I’m with you now, so I need to live through all the single women.”
I’ve been single for most of my life. I never dated much.
I’m quiet and focused on my career. Working long shifts all the time and doing overtime did little for my social life.
Now I’m interested in Twitch, and I have a colleague who wants to go out on a date. Trust this to happen to me all at once.
Viper shakes his head with a smirk on his lips.
“When’s the date?” Ava asks, leaning forward, clearly invested in my story.
Twitch’s eyes are burning holes into my head, but I ignore him. “He suggested tomorrow night at the seafood restaurant by the beach.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mercedez’s beaming smile. “I’m so happy for you,” she says, her voice sickly sweet and dripping with fake enthusiasm.
Ivy claps. “I’m happy for you finally getting out and dating again.”
“Again?” Reaper asks, his sharp eyes narrowing. He doesn’t miss much . . . apart from me and Twitch.
My breathing quickens. “She just meant because it’s been so long since I have,” I reply to my brother at lightning speed, trying to cover my tracks.
“What did this doctor’s background check say?” Reaper asks, glancing at Twitch.
Twitch’s jaw tightens, and I can see the muscle ticking as he grinds his teeth.
I clasp and unclasp my hands, trying to stay calm.
“Twitch?” Reaper prompts again.
Twitch’s eyes fly to Reaper. “Divorced. No kids. Worked his whole life. Not even a parking ticket. Pretty boring if you ask me.”
I narrow my eyes at him. Well, no one asked for his opinion.
“I like boring,” Reaper adds approvingly.
Of course he does. No risks.
“Have you got pepper spray just in case?” Reaper asks.
I groan at Reaper. “You taught me self-defense. I can handle myself.”
Reaper’s brows curve in. “That wasn’t an answer to my question.”
“Yes,” I reply, feeling like a scolded child. “I have it.”
Reaper nods his head sharply in approval. “Good to hear.”
It’s sweet that he’s still overprotective, but I’m an adult, and it seems he forgets that sometimes.
I sit back and listen to the conversations around me.
I sigh, hating that I’ll miss this from now on.
I miss the jokes from Axle and Viper, the banter between them and the rest of the club.
I’ve missed seeing Hope and spending time with Ava and Ivy.
This whole situation sucks. I decide to have only one glass of wine so I can leave early.
I’m sure dating the doctor has pleased Mercedez, but she’s so unpredictable.
I tell the club I’m tired, and I leave. The frowns on Ava’s and Ivy’s faces were hard to ignore. When I open my car door, I hear, “Hold on.”
I turn to see Twitch jogging toward me. “You’re leaving early.”
Even though it’s dark outside, I can see the dark circles under his eyes. I frown. He looks exhausted—a far cry from the happy man I’m used to seeing. I check to make sure no one followed him. “I am. I don’t want to risk it with you-know-who.”
He runs a hand through his wavy hair. “I’ve missed you,” he breathes.
A thrill shoots through me at his words, but I give him a sad smile. “I’ve missed you too.” Because I have—so much. Especially after that night we spent together. It was bliss.
“What have you been up to?” he asks shyly, scratching the back of his neck.
“Work, and I’ve been getting motorcycle lessons.”
He smiles, but it fades quickly. “I could’ve spent more time with you and taught you. Maybe we can do it again.”
I shake my head with a sigh. “With everything going on now, you couldn’t have. I enjoyed riding so much I wanted to keep doing it. One day when I own my own bike, maybe we could ride together.” It’s false hope, but still hope, nonetheless.
I glance up at him. He’s frowning, like he’s already given up. There’s a tightness in my chest. “I need to know . . . have we truly ended what we had going on?”
He takes a step back, and his eyes sharpen. “Well, it seems so when you’re going on dates with other people.”
I scoff. “Well”—I throw back in the same tone he used—“seems like you and Mercedez are close again. That didn’t take long at all.”
“We. Aren’t. Close.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”
He lets out a cold laugh. “You’re going out on a date with the most boring person ever. But at least he meets your brother’s checklist.”
I suck in a breath. He did not just say that! “That’s not fair. Edward’s a nice guy.”
“Yeah, nice . . .” he says like he threw up in his mouth. “Perfect for the MC president’s sister.”
“Jealousy really brings out a new side of you, Twitch.”
He drags his hand down his face. “Only you do this to me! I’ve never been so jealous in my life as I am about you going out on a date with someone else.
” He clutches his chest. “It’s like a serrated blade cutting my heart.
I don’t want Mercedez. I want you! But I can’t do anything about it right now. ”
I struggle to breathe. My eyes blur.
We can’t find common ground. We’re stuck in a maze we can’t escape, caught between our dream of being together and the reality we live in.
He leaves, and once I hear the front door shut, I open my car door and jump in. I turn my car on, and I’m out of there, leaving the Mercedez and Twitch drama in my wake.
Once I get home, I send McDaddy a message:
My answer is yes to the date. Tomorrow is still good for me
Yes! Looking forward to seeing you.
I should be excited to go out on a date with a handsome bachelor, but I feel nothing but that irritating sense of guilt. I hate it. Edward’s a great guy, but I can’t help it if I still like Twitch.