Chapter 11 #3
“It does not matter in the slightest,” she said, her smile refusing to dim as she relished the victory.
The realization that he had actually taken her recommendation, that he had spent his private hours reading something simply because it belonged to her world made her feel incredibly special, almost like there was a profound shift in their dynamic.
“You read it, and that is all that matters to me. So, tell me, what did you think of it?”
Nathaniel paused for a moment as they executed a sweeping turn, considering his words carefully before rendering his verdict.
“I will admit, it was not a terrible book in general. The author’s satire of London high society and the ridiculous, superficial behavior of the ton was actually quite sharp and amusing.
It is certainly not something I would typically read for leisure, but I did find the underlying struggle of a young woman trying to navigate her identity amidst social scandal to be rather compelling. ”
Euphemia scoffed playfully, stepping closer as the pattern of the dance required. “Amusing? Frances Burney is a genius, Your Grace. The way she exposes the hypocrisies of the aristocracy through Evelina’s innocent eyes is brilliant.”
“Perhaps,” Nathaniel shot back, the corners of his lips twitching upward into a smile.
“But the sheer volume of letters detailing Lord Orville’s perfection and the constant, dramatic misunderstandings could have used a more concise edit.
A man can only read so many declarations of youthful anxiety before he wishes for the characters to simply speak to one another plainly. ”
“The misunderstandings are the entire point of the narrative friction!” she argued back.
They went back and forth for another few turns of the dance, playfully dissecting the book’s themes until they finally reached a mutual consensus, that the romantic pining was a bit excessive for a duke’s taste, but the social commentary on the trials of entering society was profoundly admirable.
As the final notes of the song began to wind down, Euphemia looked up at him, her expression turning soft and incredibly sincere.
“I am truly glad that you read it, Your Grace. Thank you. It means a great deal to me that you did.” She lowered her gaze for a brief moment, a new thought striking her before she looked back up.
“Perhaps... since I have shared a piece of my library with you, you could recommend a book for me to read next? I should very much like to read something you thoroughly enjoy.”
Nathaniel looked down at her, his smile waning. “Very well,” he murmured softly. “I will think on that, and I shall let you know exactly which book I recommend for you.”
“Then I will look forward to it.”
Nathaniel’s hand tightened against the small of her back, his fingers pressing through the silk of her gown as he pulled her a fraction closer, narrowing the respectable distance between them.
He took a sharp breath, holding it in his chest as his palm subtly guided her forward.
The jolt caught her by surprise, causing her fingers to grip the fine wool of his coat a little tighter.
A strange warmth rushed through her, making her knees feel weak beneath her layers of petticoats. She looked up at him, a soft, breathless smile touching her lips because this moment felt incredibly special.
Growing up, Euphemia had never been the sister whose opinions or recommendations were taken seriously.
Seraphina and Leonora simply did not share her exact taste in literature, and they rarely ever sought her suggestions.
According to them, she spent too much time reading romance novels.
While they read romance too, they never consumed it with the same burning passion as Euphemia.
They rarely listened to her because they assumed her mind was always preoccupied with thoughts of love, grand courtships, and finding one’s ultimate place in London high society.
To them, those ideas were trivial. But seeing that she had actually managed to convince a man as rigid as Nathaniel to take her thoughts seriously felt incredibly good.
It seemed like such a small thing, but to her, it meant the absolute world.
It meant that she was finally being seen. Someone was truly seeing her.
As the music spun them around again, Euphemia shook herself out of her thoughts and looked back up into Nathaniel’s face.
Her heart missed a beat as she noted that he was staring directly at her lips while she was lost in thought.
His eyes were fixed on her mouth with an intensity that made the breath trap in her throat.
At the exact same time, she felt his thumb begin to move against her spine, gently stroking back and forth in a slow motion through the fabric of her dress.
The sensation sent a dizzying shiver straight down her body, sparking a strange ache in places she did not even know she could feel things.
She had absolutely no idea what this sensation was, and her entire frame began to tremble slightly under his touch.
Behave, Effie. This is not the first time you have danced with a gentleman.
With his eyes anchored to her mouth, Euphemia suddenly became hyper-aware of her own breathing. She didn’t know what to do with her lips anymore, and in a moment of pure, nervous instinct, she sank her teeth down to bite her lower lip.
The small movement seemed to break a spell. Nathaniel’s gaze immediately snapped back up to meet her eyes. He looked down toward her chest, watching the rapid rise and fall of her breath, before looking right back up to note the undeniable trembling of her shoulders.
“You are trembling,” Nathaniel murmured.
Euphemia swallowed hard, incapable of offering a lie when he was holding her this close. “Yes.”
“Are you still scared?” he asked softly.
“No,” she whispered.
“Are you nervous because there are so many eyes on you?”
“No.”
Nathaniel guided her through a slow turn, his eyes darkening completely as he looked down at her. “Then why are you trembling, Euphemia?”
“I do not know,” she admitted, her mind spinning wildly.
She looked deep into his eyes, and a wave of heat overwhelmed her.
He looked absolutely hungry. For some strange, inexplicable reason, that was the only word her mind could conjure to describe the expression on his face.
He looked like a man who was utterly starving.
The thought crossed her mind that he looked hungry enough to completely devour her, but she quickly brushed it away, telling herself it was a completely scandalous and crazy thing to think. She couldn’t make any sense of it.
Yet, instead of pulling away from the sheer intensity of the moment, Euphemia felt a profound sense of peace wash over her. She felt safe inside his arms. It was the first time in her entire life she had ever felt a security quite like this.
Deciding to cast her fears aside, she chose to simply embrace the moment and let herself feel everything.
She focused on the stroke of his thumb against her back, the feeling of his direct attention, and the heavy tension rippling through her body.
This was the most attention he had ever granted her, and she wanted to feel every single bit of it, even the sensations in places she didn’t fully understand.
Summoning a burst of boldness, Euphemia took a step forward, closing the remaining distance between their bodies. She tilted her chin up, effectively erasing the small gap between his face and her own, until her breath brushed against his jaw.
They kept moving to the rhythm of the music, swaying together as one, and Euphemia secretly wished the dance would never have to end.
For the first time since arriving in London, she wasn’t worrying about the gossiping crowds, her sisters, or her future.
She was only thinking about the burning look in his eyes, and it felt wonderfully nice to finally stop worrying.
Nathaniel adjusted his grip, holding her securely against him as the orchestra played the final, lingering notes of the piece, anchoring her to him in the middle of the crowded room as if they were the only two people left in the world.