11
Miles : So, I suppose if we are going to be each other’s fake dates, we’re probably going to have to get to know each other a little bit.
Delaney : Probably.
Miles : How about 20 questions? Are you free now?
Delaney : I mean, I’m at work, but I have been scrolling Instagram for the past 30 minutes, so yeah—I’m free.
Miles : Do you work in an office?
Delaney : Terrible first question, Miles. And no, I work from home.
Miles : Dammnit, does that one count?
Delaney : That one might count too, if I were to be pedantic about it.
Miles : Are you pedantic?
Delaney : Question three and it’s finally getting juicy. Yes, I am an annoying little fuck to be quite honest with you.
Miles : I highly doubt that, but okay. Pedantic as a personality trait, got it.
Delaney : Are you pedantic?
Miles : I don’t know. It seems like a lot of effort to care that much.
Delaney : Now that’s the sort of mindset I’d love to have if there wasn’t a crazy woman with a flame torch in my head leading the villagers that run my brain and demanding I be an anxious little mess all the time.
Delaney : Sorry, that was a lot.
Miles : I think it was just enough. Eloquent, visceral, a masterpiece even.
Delaney : I do like to paint a vivid picture of my poor mental health.
Delaney : And overshare…
Miles : This is literally the perfect time to overshare, Del.
Delaney : Okay. What are you doing right now?
Miles : Working, though if you were to ask my assistant manager, she’d tell you I was leaning on the counter and staring at my phone.
Delaney : So, our stellar work ethic is something we have in common then?
Miles : For sure. Avery (the aforementioned assistant manager) is probably (definitely) the only reason I still have a shop. Apparently, liking making pretty bouquets isn’t the thing that keeps a shop going.
Delaney : And what is?
Miles : Paperwork.
Delaney : Sounds horrendous.
Miles : It is. I just want to spend my time finding new succulents to stock but Avery won’t let me.
Delaney : Avery sounds like a party pooper, though she might have a point. I love succulents.
Miles : Is it because you can’t kill them?
Delaney : 100%, I can forget about them for weeks and come back and they’re still alive. It’s perfect for someone who lacks an attention span.
Miles : Does podcast production not require an attention span?
Delaney : Oh it does. I’m not very good at my job.
Miles : Oh. Right. Makes sense.
Delaney : Hence, why I have been staring at the same Google Doc for about an hour and it’s still empty.
Miles : What’s the topic this week? Still witches?
Delaney : Nope. Witches are over. It’s Christmas stuff now.
Miles : Already??
Delaney : Yeah, it’s mad but a lot of people start planning their Christmas specials around now. Even though I’m actually melting in this heat.
Miles : The weather is disgusting, isn’t it?
Delaney : Yep. I think I was made for the Arctic. Or maybe just the tippy top of Norway.
Miles : Or Ireland…
Delaney : Because I’m ginger? How original…
Miles : Awh, don’t be mad .
Delaney : Nope, you’ve hurt my feelings now.
Miles : Oh really? Thought you were tougher than that, Miss I-Survived-An-Evening-With-Miles’s-Family-And-Didn’t-Cry-Once
Delaney : Yeah, not even when your older brother asked if I knew what cryptocurrency was.
Miles : You know, I’ve always been a little bit embarrassed by Jem, but his new-found obsession with cryptocurrency is possibly his worst trait.
Delaney : Ahahahaha
Miles : Be honest, did you really laugh that much?
Delaney : I… I smiled.
Miles : And smiling constitutes that many ahahahas?
Delaney : Yep, you should see how many I put when I actually laugh.
Miles : Must take all day to type.
Delaney : Lol
Miles : Is lol a smile?
Delaney : Not even a twitch of the mouth.
Miles : Lol
Delaney : Brutal.
Miles : I learned from the best.