Chapter 51
Adam
I open the door and my breath catches in my throat. She looks different; her hair is shorter, her eyes lined differently. She’s wearing jeans that are worn at the knee and a pair of fashionably-greying white shoes.
For a moment, I can’t speak. I don’t know what to say. It seems like she doesn’t, either — she just stares at me, her mouth partly open.
Eventually, I find my words. ‘Chloe.’
‘Hey.’ She cocks her head to one side and smiles. ‘Long time no see.’
The phrase is so vastly out of proportion with everything that has transpired that I don’t know how to respond. I step back and she walks into the hallway.
‘Let’s go out into the garden.’ It’s just before sunset, and the house is making me feel claustrophobic. Big conversations, if possible, should always happen outdoors.
I pull a spare chair from the kitchen and heave it onto the patio, positioning it next to mine. I sit down heavily, and she perches on the edge of her seat.
‘So.’ She shrugs in a playful way. ‘You’ve been ignoring me.’
‘If you’re here to rub it in, don’t bother. I got what was coming to me.’
Her face drops and she leans forward. ‘Jesus, Adam, no. You didn’t.’
I laugh, tipping my head up towards the sky. ‘OK. Sure.’ I let my gaze land on her again. ‘So why are you here?’
‘You’ve moved Hugh,’ she says simply. ‘Fair enough if you don’t want to see me, but at least give him the opportunity.’
My pulse slows. Of course. ‘Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t think.’
‘That’s OK.’ She smiles. ‘You’ve had a lot going on, by the sounds of things.’
‘Yeah.’
We lapse into silence. The sun shines lazily just above the horizon, casting long shadows across the garden.
‘I’ve really fucking missed you, Ad,’ Chloe says suddenly, her eyes welling.
I shake my head. Renewed sadness pools in my stomach. What is there to be angry about anymore? Katie’s gone. ‘Holding a grudge is really exhausting, you know,’ I say, flashing her a smile.
She kicks me under the table. ‘You’re not made for it. You’re too nice.’ She looks over across the fences, and then leans forward and takes my hand. ‘I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.’
I squeeze her hand. ‘Don’t be. You were right.’
‘Fuck being right.’ She pulls away. ‘It’s not about being right. It’s about being there for your best friend in whatever capacity they need you. You didn’t need me to do what I did. You needed me to support you. You could figure everything else out on your own.’
I feel tears welling at the back of my nose and I cough. ‘I really couldn’t see it. I couldn’t.’
I’m transported back six months, to the last time I saw her. A dark, wintery evening at Piotr’s house; me and Katie, the boys, Bil’s girlfriend at the time, and Chloe. We were playing Cards Against Humanity and Katie wasn’t concentrating; she was on her phone, haphazardly throwing random cards into the middle without looking whenever she was told to.
‘Batman?’ It was my turn to judge, and I looked around the table, laughing. ‘Who put Batman? It doesn’t even make sense.’
Nobody answered. Katie, noticing the silence, looked up from her phone. ‘Hm? Oh, it was probably me.’
‘Aw, come on.’ I nudged her. ‘At least play properly.’
She didn’t say anything. She just fixed me with a look that told me to shut up.
Piotr coughed awkwardly. Chloe stood up. ‘I’m getting another beer. Adam, you want to come?’
I stood up and put my cards down, and we moved into the kitchen as the next round of the game continued without us. I went straight for the fridge, but Chloe blocked my path.
‘When are you going to say something?’ Her eyes were slightly unfocused, and she gripped the counter for balance.
‘What?’
‘Well, the way I see it, you’ve got two choices.’ She held up her fingers. ‘One, tell her she’s got to stop being such a moody cow all the time, or two, drop her and find someone who actually respects you.’
It took me a moment to catch up. ‘Are you talking about Katie?’
Chloe rolled her eyes. ‘Yes, I’m talking about Katie. She’s a really crappy person.’
Anger flared through me immediately, and I straightened up defensively. ‘Where the fuck has this come from?’
She laughed. ‘Adam! Jesus Christ.’
‘What?’
‘Open your eyes. She treats you like shit.’
I shook my head. ‘We’ve been together nearly six years, Chloe. You’ve never said anything like this before. Why now? You’re just drunk. Leave it.’
‘No. I mean, yes, I am drunk. I am. But I can’t keep quiet anymore. I’m sick of watching her walk all over you.’
I stepped backwards, moving towards the door. Before I got there, I turned back around. ‘We’re really happy, thanks so much for checking. We’ve got a beautiful house, we’re in a really good place in our careers, our lives. Don’t project your insecurities onto me.’
Chloe stumbled sideways as though she’d been slapped. ‘You’re so bloody careful , Adam. You know the sensible choice isn’t always the right choice, don’t you?’
I turned around again and left, walking through the living room and slamming the front door behind me.
Katie hadn’t asked what had happened, and I hadn’t brought it up. She’d come home a couple of hours later while I was staring at the wall and had slid into bed next to me. We’d woken up the next day, gone to work, and life had continued.
I’d never thought to wonder why she hadn’t brought it up. At the time, I’d just been angry at Chloe and glad I wouldn’t have to repeat her words to the woman I loved. Now I wonder if she didn’t ask because she knew what she might hear.
Now, Chloe sits in front of me, her face sober and sad. ‘I’m not glad that I was right, you know. I’m glad she’s gone, but I’m not glad I was right.’
‘I know.’
‘And anyway.’ She sits up and her voice lifts. I notice her change in tone and immediately smile; everything becomes a joke with Chloe, nothing is ever serious for long. ‘I’m not here for you, am I? I’m here because you’re hiding your brother from me.’
‘He has missed you.’ I grin.
‘Of course he has. But not as much as I’ve missed him.’
Chloe visited Hugh at least once a week up until our argument. When I moved him, it hadn’t even occurred to me that I hadn’t told her the new address. I assumed she was staying away because our friendship had fallen apart.
‘Why didn’t you just ask the boys?’ I ask.
‘I did! They said it would have to come from you.’
I smile. ‘Fair enough. I’m not his gatekeeper, though. You can go whenever you want.’ I pull out my phone and send her the address. ‘There. Rosewood Residential.’
She stands up and holds her arms out, and I wrap her in a hug. ‘I’m sorry, Chloe.’
She pulls back, confused. ‘What for?’
‘For choosing her over you. Bros before hoes, or hoes before... oh, god, nobody’s a hoe, I don’t know. Whatever. I’m sorry.’
She throws her head back and laughs. ‘Shut up. Now, are you going to offer me a drink, or what?’