56. Bertram #3
It was one thing for Bertram to accept their truth or dare kiss as a joke. It was another to let Helena be self-deprecating about her looks. That Bertram could not let slide, under any circumstances.
“If you had kissed the prettiest girl on Mount Folio,” Helena continued, “then she would’ve woken up, and our party would be ruined.” Helena pointed over to where Lovey had now rolled over onto her back, her little talons circling furiously through the air.
Bertram smiled. They were back on solid ground now, back in safe territory.
He was surprised to find himself a little sad about that fact.
But if Helena was intent on beating a hasty retreat back to their comfort zone, Bertram would follow.
“In all fairness,” Bertram said, “Lovey isn’t just the prettiest girl on Mount Folio; she’s probably the prettiest girl in the world. At least, she seems to think so. Have you noticed how she’s constantly preening?”
“Constantly,” Helena agreed. “Which I’d mostly interpreted as a sign of good developmental progress that she’s exhibiting species-appropriate grooming behaviors, but I think you’re right. It’s probably an ego thing.”
Bertram laughed. “It’s hard to compete with a girl who literally glitters.”
Lovey’s claws swiped at the air.
“Do you think she’s dreaming?”
“Owl-bear cognition hasn’t really been studied,” Helena said, which was the most Helena response possible. “But, if I were to just go off of general . . . vibes . . . yeah, she looks like she’s dreaming.”
“What do you think she’s dreaming about?” Bertram asked.
“Undoubtedly chasing Callopus yarkandephrys,” Helena said.
“And you accused me of being the most annoying Person in the world,” Bertram said with a grin.
“The yarkand harestreak, of course. Body like a yarkand hare—”
“Wings like a green hairstreak butterfly; I know,” Bertram said. “Once we’re talking about animals in normal speech, I know what they are, Hel. I just haven’t memorized every single tag in a dead human language, and I will not apologize for that.”
“Nor should you,” Helena agreed. “What do you think Lovey is dreaming about?”
“I think”—Bertram paused—“I think Lovey is dreaming about how much she loves her mama. And how glad she is that she has someone who cares so much about her and would do anything to protect her and make sure she grows up as best as she possibly can, no matter what circumstances she’s in.”
Helena blushed and looked away.
“That little goblin isn’t grateful for a damn thing, and you know it.
” Helena laughed. “But, if she were, I’m sure she would be equally grateful that you never gave up on her, even when she kept attacking you, that you stayed and won her over, and that you build all these amazing things for her and that you wrestle with her better than I ever could.
She’s lucky you’re here. I’m lucky you’re here. ”
“I’m glad to be here,” Bertram said. “I should say that more; I should make that clear—I know we didn’t have the best start, but I’m glad you’re here, Hel.
I really am. I don’t know anyone else who would’ve been able to handle Lovey the way you’ve been able to.
I don’t know anyone else who has your passion and dedication.
I don’t know anyone else who calls a yarkand harestreak whatever the fuck you just called a yarkand harestreak—”
“Callopus yarkandephrys,” Helena offered, and Bertram thought that all of the kind things he had been saying were probably erased from Helena’s mind the second she had the opportunity to spit out a scientific name.
He wondered if he should go back to the beginning, about how happy he was to be there with her, or if he should skip to the end and just tell her that he was really, really happy to be there with her, and he didn’t like the idea of losing her to someone else, even when it was just an imaginary marquess-spy who she was making up .
. . but that was too much to say, surely.
Then again, she asked him to kiss her, right? Technically she had said, “kiss the prettiest girl on Mount Folio,” and then she had implied that she meant Lovey, but it had to be a reference to when he had kissed her in high school, wasn’t it? So, she had to wanted him to kiss her, hadn’t she?
He could just ask. All he had to do was gather his courage and just say, “Hey, Hel, did you get me to kiss you on purpose tonight, and if so, why?”
Bertram opened his mouth.
Unfortunately, Lovey opened hers too.
“SCREAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEY!” yelled Lovey.
Helena grimaced. “Maybe her dream was more of a nightmare.”
Lovey scrambled to her taloned feet and made a beeline for Helena, jumping into her arms.
“It’s okay, baby,” Helena cooed. “Let’s go to your real bed now, okay?”
Helena stood and turned back to Bertram.
“Um, it was really fun spending the evening with you,” Helena said. “I’m glad you had this idea. It was really nice.”
“Yeah,” Bertram said, “it was.”
Helena carried Lovey back to her tent.
“Did you want me to kiss you?” Bertram whispered, barely above the sound of a breath.
If Helena had vampire hearing, she might have caught the question, heard the yearning in his voice.
But with her human hearing, his thoughts were lost on the wind, and it was probably better that way.