Chapter Thirty-Four
Wow, these headlines kept getting more and more misleading, overlooking the finer details.
I swiped the article notification away, not bothering to click, and lay in bed.
Folks had already started calling it The Day the Devil Died—not quite as catchy as Night of the Fiend Massacre, yet it represented another momentous triumph Enchanter Evergreen had accomplished by bringing guilds together.
I puffed on a cigarette, which did little to mask how badly my sheets reeked.
Almost all day and night, I’d sat in bed doing little else, aside from occasionally eating, only reminded because I had to feed the cats despite wanting to do nothing.
Not shower. Not clean. Not work. All I wanted was to disappear for a bit, yet I continued reading articles and watching news reports that covered the chimera’s attack on Chicago.
Everyone moved on so quickly, hardly fazed by the actual plot intended since the enchanters eviscerated every threat.
A week had passed since releasing Finn for a third time in his life.
When he died at twenty-two. When he’d helped me last semester.
And now, when a piece of him was bound inside that devil.
I was stuck saying farewell to Finn yet again.
An infinite loop of regrets. The first time I lost him, I never got to say goodbye.
The second time, it wasn’t pleasant, but there was closure.
Now, it felt like I’d ripped open a scar. Each time he was lost, it was me who’d played the biggest role in failing him, letting him go, and it took everything I had not to breathe in more depression.
But I wouldn’t spend another twelve years mourning Finn. He wouldn’t want that, I couldn’t live like that, and Milo needed me. As much as it hurt, I wanted to live and live happily. It was just difficult getting started again.
Unfortunately, Milo didn’t have an opportunity to mourn.
After everything he’d endured, he lacked the luxury of taking a week off for personal reasons.
I got to use these days to get my head screwed back on right, but Chicago required the great Enchanter Evergreen to remain vigilant as the smoke settled.
All the demons were banished, and every citizen survived unharmed.
Milo spent the week attending impromptu events celebrating the success of guilds and his masterful collaborative efforts to put the demons and the devil plaguing the city to rest. It didn’t matter that his body still ached after enduring the effects of channeling a hundred fellow enchanters.
He couldn’t show it. The Inevitable Future remained an omnipotent presence, defending all the best potential outcomes.
Carlie trotted into my bedroom, meowing. Screeching, really, because I was already behind her preferred schedule, and soon, she’d starve to death .
“I’m getting your food, fat cat.”
Charlie hopped onto the bed, paws kneading the blanket, and then he licked my arm.
“Yes, I know I need a shower, too.” I kissed his furry head and went to feed them before getting ready for work. I’d taken enough time to grieve. It was time to return to reality.
After showering away a week’s worth of sweat and tears and existential doubts, I grabbed my stuff and drove to work. Training my roots wasn’t really a priority now. Simply keeping my head above water would do. Finn wouldn’t want me to break down into despair.
I pulled into the academy parking lot, where Chanelle telekinetically carried six boxes to her car early in the morning before most had arrived.
“It’s a little early to be hauling that stuff away.”
“If I don’t start now, I’ll never get it all packed in time.” Chanelle popped her trunk, and I assisted in tetrising boxes around the others already stored.
“Why don’t you just leave your stuff over summer like a normal person?”
“Your lack of care for your belongings is not normal, Dorian. The fact is every year, they use my classroom for summer school, and every single year, something is missing or broken when I return. Not this year.”
I lifted a box titled ‘stickers’ and crammed it into a corner. “Do you really need an entire box of stickers?”
“I’ve accumulated a lot over the last fifteen years.”
“Hoarded, you mean.”
“Acquired and retained educational resources in a difficult economy.”
“Fancy way to say hoarded. ”
“Well, I’m fancy.” Chanelle slammed the trunk closed, preparing one final trip before classes to fill the backseat.
“How are you?”
“Fine. Only about ten thousand things on my to-do list, and I think I’ll be able to knock off seven today. Maybe eight if you stop chitchatting.”
I grabbed her wrist. “Chanelle, how are you doing?”
“Okay. Suppose Milo told you about Jamie.”
I nodded. He’d given me distance and time to absorb the events privately, keeping himself busy with work, but I’d heard Jamie was recovering in the hospital.
The physical toll of exorcising the chimera coupled with the emotional agony of months trapped inside his own head… It must be excruciating for him.
“Thankfully, Headmaster Dower agreed to exempt Jamie from the finals, and I’ll be helping his family arrange for a proper tutor over the summer.”
“He’s returning?”
“I don’t know, but I want him to have the option. Not sure if it’d help him.” Chanelle pulled away, burying guilt that spiked momentarily. “I can’t decide if it’d be harder to see him every day next year or not at all, which makes me entirely selfish.”
“It doesn’t. You’re probably the least selfish person I know, going out of her way to account for everything and everyone. It’s actually really fucking irritating.”
“Help me carry boxes, you bum.” Chanelle grinned, keeping her regrets, her missteps, to herself. I wouldn’t pry.
“Sure thing.” I walked into the quiet academy, assisting Chanelle until school started.
Once the bell rang, kids funneled through the hallways, most still gossiping about everything that’d happened across the city, sharing their stories on where they were and which demon they’d seen defeated by an enchanter .
“Morning, everybody.” I immediately turned on my whiteboard, projecting a final exam study schedule planned for my homeroom coven leading up to the last week of classes.
There were few things I could control in life, so I decided to put my efforts into preparing my homeroom.
Teaching them, guiding them, were things I could control.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Gael slapped a hand on his desk, drawing everyone’s attention. “No, the heckity heck hell, you did not just try to do that, Mr. Frosty.”
“Excuse me?” I glowered.
“You’ve been gone for an entire week because you were sick.
” He very much used air quotes around my flimsy excuse.
“You left us with subs and work after a very traumatic situation, and you’re not so much as going to ask us how we’re doing?
What about my feelings, Mr. Frosty? Do they mean nothing to you? ”
“Cluck.” His rooster clacked his clawed foot on the desk, disapprovingly glaring in my direction.
“Traumatic situation?” Kenzo huffed. “You weren’t even there.”
“I was there in spirit,” Gael retorted. “Plus, I’m thinking of how this affects everyone.”
“I’m actually fine.” Tara shrugged.
“Yeah, man. It was a little scary but super epic, too.” Gael raised his arms, flexing them and expanding his spikes.
Caleb nodded in agreement. “Are you maybe trying to avoid—”
“I believe they’re putting on a brave face.
” Gael gestured, cutting Caleb off and using King Clucks’ well-timed bawks to quiet Tara and Gael.
“But the only way to ensure they’re really fine is to put away that horrible, very stressful schedule you’ve got up there and allow us free time to properly reflect. ”
I rolled my eyes. There it was. Gael went to bat on everyone’s behalf so he could avoid studying. “Would you like to be excused, Gael? You know, so you can properly reflect on your emotions. ”
“Like, I can just leave?” He raised his brows curiously.
“Sure,” I said. “I bet you’ll do fantastic on your final exams without my overly taxing study schedule. You likely won’t have to worry about failing them, about your ranking dropping, or failing out of Gemini.”
“W-wait, what?”
“Yeah,” I said, writing him a pass. “You’re so dedicated, I’m certain you can take this time to reflect.”
“Now, you’re just making things up.” Gael crossed his arms, boasting. “No one fails out of an academy.”
“True, but your second year is twice as intensive and has the highest transfer rate across the state.”
“Transfer?”
Gemini—like most academies—didn’t believe in failing students since it reflected poorly on our numbers. So they’d find ways to edge students out of the academy program if they weren’t on track for success. I hated it. But it motivated me to motivate my students.
“To a less intensive program, something not on an industry pathway. Perhaps taking time to reflect can help you decide if that’s something you’d like.”
“No. I’m fine.” Gael clammed up. “ Still should’ve asked how we were before throwing a bunch of work at us. ”
“Ba-bawk.”
They were all hyped for summer break just around the corner after such a successful first year, and I didn’t want them to flounder this close to their end-of-year tests.
Each of them was more determined than frightened by my comments.
Hopefully, it’d ignite a fire in each of my homeroom students and push them through their exams, keep them motivated over the summer and ready to return in the fall invigorated to reach new heights .
I broke them into groups based on which classes they’d need to prioritize and balancing my highs and lows.
That was always a struggle. Students who excelled often didn’t collaborate the best with the lowest learners.
Those students required someone closer to their level around the mid-tier, but grouping highly skilled students together simply allowed them to collectively rush through their work with ease, so it was also important to partner them with mid-ranged learners.
Of course, this all varied based on personality, strengths and weaknesses based on subjects, and a thousand other tiny factors.
It was the worst jigsaw puzzle; however, an hour into studying, there weren’t any outbursts, slacking, or breakdowns. Maybe I’d gotten it right.
We’d survived the morning study session, and I sent them all off to classes.
Hopefully, the afternoon would go half as smoothly.
However, the festering annoyance bubbling on their minds as they left for the first class indicated I had a long month ahead of me.
One month. One month, and they’d have their first-year exams completed and be released for the summer, and I’d have a chance to sulk and dwell and rebuild myself.
It was like any other year; I could make it until summer break.
Milo’s mind called out to me, syncing seamlessly to the back of my thoughts as I helped students with missing work, exam prep, and evaluating their GPAs and rankings.
Some kids were bad at the math involved when calculating the scoring system, and it didn’t help the academies always found new and overly complex ways to grade student standing.
It was a nice reprieve having a cheery Milo in my head.
“Thank you both for joining me.” Milo greeted Acolytes Reed and Novak, who joined him in his office, reading over a case file he handed them. “This is top-notch stuff that I think my two favorite acolytes are more than qualified to solve.”
“We’re probably the only acolytes you know the names of,” Novak huffed, reading the file. “Seriously? It’s a lost dog. ”
“It’s a Doberman puppy. They’re the absolute cutest one-hundred percent most perfect babies ever.” Reed squealed, her eyes wide with delight over the images in the file.
The sharp pitch of her voice was grating on me and Novak, yet Milo grinned.
“He’s also a lost familiar,” Milo explained, cutting off any commentary from Novak because she needed the distraction, and he’d gladly throw cases at her until her potential futures settled.
“And if two very talented acolytes don’t locate him, his witch may lose their license.
I suppose if you think it’s beneath you, I can pass it on to others willing to—”
“Not at all,” Reed blurted. “I will find the familiar by the end of the day.”
“Whatever,” Novak said. “We’ll find the familiar.”
Reed smiled at Novak, who rolled her eyes. Reed grumbled, making a pouty face. Milo eyed them, weaving his surface thoughts behind visions, then chuckled to himself.
“ Doesn’t seem like the best start to their future, if you ask me, ” I thought, unintentionally linking closely to him.
Okay, perhaps intentionally. I wanted him to hear my voice, know that even though I wasn’t there, I was.
I’d been absent, selfish, so he needed to understand I did care about the burdens he endured, too.
“ I very much approve of angsty beginnings, ” he thought.
Flashes of our freshman year popped into his mind.
A fidgety, shy Milo hidden behind a hoodie.
A bold, outgoing Finn dressed flashy and smiling.
A rude, angry me glaring in my gothiest getup.
“ I think those tend to make for the happiest ever afters. ”
“ You’re distracting. I’m going back to work. ” I paused, lingering on the distance I needed, the quiet I wanted. “ I’m sorry I’ve been avoidant. I’ve just been… ”
“ You’re fine. It’s been good for both of us. Focus on the kids, focus on you. I’ll be here, working. Always working. ” Milo smirked, which drew the attention of Acolyte Reed and Novak. “ Speaking of, I should probably get back to it. ”
“ I love you, Milo. ”
“ Love you, too, Dorian. ” Milo smiled, returning to the case file he had for his top two acolytes.
With that, I quelled his thoughts and scowled at a student. “If you think for one second you’re going to sleep in my class, you’re mistaken.”
“I had a rough night.”
“Anime and gaming until three in the morning is not a rough night. Screw up your sleep schedule on your own time.”
I’d make time for Milo, help my students—all of them—pass their exams, and then I’d find time to sort everything out with Finn. But it’d have to wait because pushing people away was a go-to move, and I needed to grow past that.