Chapter 9
Dread struck Emerson at the thought of Dash leaving.
He wasn’t ready to let go. The adrenaline buzzing in his blood still had him on high alert, and the powerful drive to protect the man lingered.
Dash didn’t need protection, though. The guy was not only an alpha but also a trained ex-Black Guardsman who might be capable of kicking his ass and making light work of it.
Logically, he understood Dash could hold his own. Innately, the raw instinct was there.
Why?
Emerson had been with countless alphas over the years. With a couple of them he’d experienced a raid at their side and brought them back right to where they were standing. He’d never felt the same need to offer shelter before. He’d never felt anything for another alpha like he felt for Dash.
They stared at one another, like they had on the dance floor, mesmerized. His lips tingled with the memory of the kiss Dash had stolen in the dark.
A kiss Emerson wanted to sample again, though he wasn’t sure he’d get the chance.
Dash was acting cagey. Even after that kiss, Emerson sensed he wouldn’t own up to the hunger they both clearly shared.
It was one thing to steal a kiss in the dark, but it was a completely different thing to own up to it in the light.
The expression on Dash’s face reminded him of the one that night in the office—denial, pure and simple.
Emerson watched as Dash’s gaze swept the room back and forth like he was a captive animal searching for escape.
At the same time, his eyes returned to Emerson over and over again, dark and full of need.
A need Emerson felt bone deep. He had to tempt Dash to stay.
Otherwise, he’d regret it as much as he’d regretted leaving Dash’s office.
“Where else are you going to go?” Emerson said, keeping his voice low and even.
Dash was silent for a few seconds, his gaze landing everywhere but on Emerson. “Don’t know. Not here.” He winced. “Anywhere but here.”
Emerson took a couple of slow steps forward. “Am I really that bad a host?”
Dash scoffed but didn’t answer. He backed up a couple of steps, getting ever closer to the door.
“It’s dangerous out there,” Emerson murmured, moving another step closer.
Dash rolled his eyes. “I’m accustomed to danger. I’ve been on missions that make tonight look like nothing.”
“Tonight wasn’t nothing. I’m used to taking risks myself—and I felt your heart beating just as fast as mine,” Emerson said. “Tucked close in that doorway, chest-to-chest, it’s all I could feel.”
It wasn’t all he’d felt. Having the man’s body up against him had seemed so right.
“Tonight wasn’t a mission. It wasn’t something either of us trained for. We were caught off guard in a private moment,” Emerson said. “And there’s no reason for you to put yourself back in that danger again when staying here’s an option.”
Emerson paused, the sound of pelting rain indicating it had yet to let up. “Unless you enjoy being soaking wet.”
He took another measured step closer.
The look in Dash’s eyes swung between ready to bolt—and desperate to continue what they’d started on the dance floor.
“Stay here. Where it’s safe… and dry.” Emerson took one step closer. “I promise no harm will come to you tonight.”
“You can’t promise that,” Dash said, his voice thick with emotion. “Dry, sure, but it’s not safe.”
“You’re safe with me,” Emerson replied. He grinned. “I don’t bite. Not hard, anyway.”
Dash glared at him.
“Too soon to crack a joke?” Emerson said.
“Do you realize what would’ve happened if we’d been caught?” Dash asked. It sounded more like an accusation than a question.
“I’m well aware of the risks.”
“Yet you continue to go. Often enough to know the escape routes very well. Why risk it over and over again?”
Emerson searched Dash’s face a second, trying to bottle the irritation rising. “Why not?”
“I think you can come up with a better answer than that,” Dash said. “Why… do you put yourself in danger like that when you don’t have to?”
“My answer hasn’t changed,” Emerson snapped. “Why shouldn’t I go there? I put my life on the line every godsdamned day for this province. Seventeen years of running into buildings everyone else is running out of. Yet the laws of this province make a man like me a criminal. Not a hero. A criminal.”
Dash’s shoulders lowered, his focus fully on Emerson.
“The people I’ve saved? They’d shun me if they knew.
The Guard? They’d throw me under the fucking prison.
” Emerson released a slow breath, trying to calm down.
“You know who wouldn’t treat me like that?
The men inside that club. They see me exactly as I am—and there’s not much on this Earth that feels better than being seen and being accepted. ”
Dash watched him intently but said nothing. There was perhaps a flicker of understanding in his eyes, but Emerson couldn’t be sure his words made any impact.
“I tried hiding who I was for a long time. Ignored my needs. Avoided the alphas who glanced my way with a knowing look,” Emerson said. “But I’m not built to live like that. I need connection. I need to touch another person and to feel something besides emptiness.”
Emerson closed the gap another step.
“Being completely alone for years on end nearly broke me,” Emerson said, his throat tightening before the words had fully fallen from his lips. “It was a meaningless, hollow existence, and I wouldn’t have survived it much longer.”
Dash’s brows furrowed as he held Emerson’s gaze.
“That emptiness is a hell of a lot more terrifying than what happened tonight,” Emerson murmured. “So, yeah. I go, over and over again, knowing the risk involved.” He shrugged. “Live fast, die young.”
Dash’s expression softened, and Emerson thought he saw understanding in the man’s eyes… and perhaps a hint of recognition.
“This boat was my uncle’s. He left it to me when he passed.
While going through his shit, I found out he was alpha-attracted, too—at least, I assume he was.
He had some old alpha-alpha porn magazines locked in a cabinet—and a few photos stashed in there, too.
Alphas huddled together, smiling with their arms linked.
A couple of them were kissing. Written on the back was, ‘The Dragon’ and a date.
I stared at that photo, and all I saw was love.
A fellowship of men who understood one another.
Community. And I longed to have a little piece of that for myself. ”
“How did you find it? The Dragon, that is.”
“A few years after I stumbled across those photos, I changed stations. Not long after, I realized one of the men in the photos looked an awful lot like a younger version of my new captain.” Emerson chuckled, the sound almost hollow to his own ears.
“It took me months to get up the nerve to ask him if he knew my uncle. A lot more to ask what the Dragon was.”
“I’m sure that terrified him,” Dash murmured. “To be confronted with his secret.”
“Oh, yeah. I suspect he thought I was about to turn him in, but I assured him I wasn’t.
I finally had to admit I was alpha-attracted, too, before he’d calm down.
” Emerson crossed his arms over his chest but dropped them with as wet as his clothes were.
“Can we please dry off before we go down this miserable road any farther? I don’t want to be cold and sad. ”
“Yeah,” Dash replied, a hint of a smile on his lips.
Emerson took a few backward steps to ensure Dash was following him that time.
He spun after a few seconds and marched towards his cabin.
After flipping on the light, he fished a couple of clean towels out of the laundry basket on his bed.
He tossed one over before drying off his hair, then watched as Dash did the same.
After a swipe across his face, he kicked off his shoes and peeled his soaked shirt over his head.
“Ah,” Dash said before spinning around, putting his back to Emerson like he was embarrassed. “What’re you doing?”
“I’m not staying in these wet things.”
“Can’t you wait until I leave the room?” Dash asked.
“Nothing more than either of us have done in a locker room or the showers surrounded by other men.”
Dash winced, averting his eyes as he backed towards the door. “I’ll leave you to it.”
“Never seen a naked man before?” Emerson asked, grinning.
Dash lingered halfway in and out of the room, suggesting he didn’t really want to leave. “Not this particular naked man, no.”
Emerson’s grin grew wider as he undid his jeans.
“Emerson,” Dash said, the muscles in his neck straining. He was fighting a peek awful damned hard, Emerson was sure of it.
“You should get out of your wet things, too,” Emerson murmured. “You’ll catch your death.”
“Not happening,” Dash muttered, staring at the floor.
“Hey, if you’d rather spend the night wearing soaked clothes instead of borrowing something warm and dry, be my guest.”
“You’re too big,” Dash said. “Your clothes wouldn’t fit me.”
“You’re not that far off. I’m sure we can find something that could work,” Emerson said, kicking out of his jeans and briefs.
He stood completely naked in front of Dash, desperate for the alpha to look at him.
See him.
All of him.
If Dash could walk away after that, then so be it.
“Fine,” Dash grumbled, pulling off his sports jacket, still not looking up. He turned his back to Emerson. “But I’m not spending all night here, just so we’re clear.”
“Your choice but you’re free to stay as long as you need to.”
Dash glared over his shoulder before his gaze dropped to Emerson’s cock. Emerson fought a smile when a tremor seemed to run up Dash’s spine.
Emerson rifled through the clean clothes and pulled out a pair of gray sweatpants. He lingered for a couple of seconds, watching Dash’s shirt disappear and a muscled back come into view. Mouth drying, he licked his lips, hungry to explore every inch of that skin on display.
“Can I ask a question?”
“That is a question,” Dash said, the haughtiness in his voice chafing.