Chapter 19
While we can.
That sobered Emerson. He rubbed the tip of his nose against Dash’s neck, drawing in the alpha’s scent. It mixed with his own and the scent of their fucking. After a few seconds of Emerson’s languid kisses, Dash’s body melted back into his.
He pressed a kiss to Dash’s forehead. Dash’s head lolled to the side, and he looked over at Emerson. He gazed into the man’s gray eyes, longing to claim Dash as his own for the world to see.
Even if he could, it was much too soon for that. It had only been two days. Sure, there had been months of longing before that, but that meant little in the face of things. That connection did, though. Deep down, he knew that was what made them both willing to risk a life together in the shadows.
“I won’t live a ‘back and forth, will we or won’t we’ life,” Emerson said.
Dash sighed.
“I’m not asking for a definition,” Emerson added. “But if we’re doing this, I need your assurance that you’re all in.”
Dash turned his head and eyed Emerson, his expression skeptical. “You want me to go all in… after two nights?”
“Either we’re all in and do everything we can to negate the risk—or we don’t do this ever again.”
Dash chuckled mirthlessly, shaking his head—more like rolling it back and forth on Emerson’s shoulder.
“You said it yourself. There’s something powerful between us. We both knew it from the first instant. Hell, even Harrison mentioned feeling electricity charged between us that first afternoon.”
“What are you suggesting?” Dash asked, tensing again.
“Nothing,” Emerson replied. “Other than there’s a connection you’ve already acknowledged.”
“Alphas can’t be mates with one another,” Dash said.
Pain lanced Emerson’s chest, but he suddenly realized that meant they both questioned it. “But what if they can?”
Dash turned his head to gaze at him again. “You’re putting your hopes on a fantasy now.”
“Am I?” Emerson asked.
“Keep your feet planted in reality, Emerson.”
Emerson stared at Dash, missing the use of his nickname already.
Dash sighed. “Whatever this becomes will never be a fairy tale with a happily ever after. We’ll never be allowed to be together in the light of day. All we have is a life in the shadows.” He rolled his head forward, taking his focus off Emerson. “Either you accept that or there’s no reason to try.”
“Grim outlook,” Emerson said.
Dash leaned closer and pressed his lips to Emerson’s. “I’m just being a realist.”
A realist. Emerson had always considered himself one of those, but being with Dash made him want more than what he knew they’d get. It wasn’t enough.
He ran a palm over Dash’s distended belly, filled with his cock.
Once again, images of Dash pregnant swept through his mind.
He closed his eyes, a hint of shame hitting him.
Wasn’t it enough that there might be a chance they’d have some kind of relationship?
Asking for the impossible was pure greed.
Emerson nuzzled against Dash’s neck. Dash cuddled closer, kissing Emerson’s cheek.
When his knot shrank, Emerson pulled from Dash slowly.
“About that favor I needed,” Dash said, immediately turning and straddling Emerson’s thighs.
He chuckled, looking up into Dash’s gorgeous face. “The real reason you came to seduce me.”
Dash fought a smile. “Perhaps.”
“Who are you meeting?”
“Randall.”
“As in my brother Randall?” Emerson asked, his brows furrowing.
“Yes.”
Emerson opened his eyes wider. “Why did you go talk to him? I said I would.”
“Did you?”
Emerson winced. “Yeah. It didn’t go well.”
“Did he mention turning us in?”
“He said you’re safe,” Emerson replied. “Which means you’re safe. I’d stop pushing him or else he might change his mind. Leave Randall be.”
“I spent my afternoon in the Records Department at the Municipal Building. On my way out, I bumped into Randall as he was coming in for his shift. We talked about the case.”
“And nothing else?”
“He had questions about you being at the Dragon. I avoided answering anything that would implicate you, I think. What did you two talk about?”
“Not a whole lot. Before I got far into anything, he got pissed and threw me out.”
“I sense he’ll come seeking answers. Your brother would make one hell of a detective. He’s relentless.”
“Great to hear,” Emerson muttered.
“It seems clear he has information about multiple missing alphas potentially tied to raids at the Dragon.”
Emerson’s eyes widened. “Multiple missing?”
“Have you heard about anyone else missing amid the regulars there?”
Emerson shrugged. “No. But you have to realize the nature of this beast. The Dragon is raided nonstop. Some guys get really skittish about coming back after one. Some never do. Others lay low for a while—until they can’t stand the loneliness any longer.
Then there’s the guys who go as far as mating an omega or marrying a beta to cover their alpha-attractedness. ”
“Guys do that?”
Emerson nodded. “It can throw off suspicion on the outside and give a guy cover but also opens them up to being caught by someone way too close to them. If they slip up and too many questions arise, they’ll often lay low for a while.
If a married or mated alpha gets outed by their partner, they might be forced to make promises. ”
“Promises? Like not fucking alphas on the DL.”
Emerson nodded. “Exactly. So, they fall off the radar, too.”
“Regulars going missing is relatively normal and not something that would give rise to suspicion within the community,” Dash murmured, his gaze going hazy.
“But these men still have a life outside. They have families and jobs. Someone would notice they were missing and reach out to the Guard eventually.”
“Many alphas have been caught by their immediate family and turned out,” Emerson said. “Those families don’t want the shame of having an alpha-attracted son, so they cut ties. A lot of the alphas in the club last night are from other provinces where they left their families behind.”
“Why move here, though? There are a couple of provinces where alphas are free to be with whomever they choose.”
Emerson laughed. “I’d think you, of anyone, would know why they’d opt to come here and not those provinces.”
“Omegawood has a dark side filled with criminal activity and Fénix is ridiculously expensive,” Dash said. “Few can afford to live there.”
Emerson nodded. “While alphas being together is illegal here, it’s still one of the most progressive provinces in the Palatinate. We had omega rights decades before others. Maybe the alphas who come here hope that change might soon be on the horizon.”
“Considering some provinces like Blacksburg and Erieberg are near draconian in their governance, I suppose it’s a safer bet here than others. I think it’s still a death sentence in Blacksburg for alpha-attracted alphas who are caught.”
Emerson shook his head. “Life in prison seems almost a kindness in comparison.”
“There’s no real reason for any of it. Just toxic alpha posturing,” Dash said.
Emerson pressed his palm to Dash’s chest, allowing the heart beating under it to pulse against his hand. “And the mistaken notion that an alpha yielding or bottoming causes him to be less than.”
Dash met his stare, but it was clear from the hint of trepidation in his eyes that he might struggle with thoughts like those.
“Being vulnerable and enjoying the pleasure you’ve felt doesn’t make you any less alpha,” Emerson told Dash, sensing he needed to hear that.
“Maybe next time, you get to be the vulnerable one,” Dash whispered.
Emerson leaned forward and pressed his lips to Dash’s. “If you want.”
“I want,” Dash said.
A shiver raced up Emerson’s spine. He slid his hands over Dash’s asscheeks, stretching them apart to expose the part where his cum leaked from.
Dash chuckled. “But can we have a little more time to regroup first?”
Disappointment filled Emerson. He was more than ready to go. “If we must.”
They held one another’s gazes for a few seconds before Dash slid off his lap. Emerson was reluctant to let go of his hand. Thankfully, Dash turned and sat on his lap, wrapping both hands around Emerson’s neck.
“I didn’t think you were a fan of sitting on my lap?”
Dash fought a smile and nearly lost that time. “It’s growing on me.”
Emerson sighed silently when Dash rested his forehead against the side of his head. He’d craved touching Dash all day, and he’d take all he could get for as long as he could. After a few minutes though, he sensed Dash traveling a million miles away. Emerson sensed his mind was back on his case.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?”
Dash got a faraway look. “I’m wondering now if this goes back even farther than I first imagined.
I assumed these men would eventually have missing persons cases opened, which meant it couldn’t have been happening too long.
Of course, I’m getting ahead of myself. I haven’t even verified the reporter’s claims.”
“What reporter?”
Dash sat up straighter, and his gaze whipped back to Emerson’s.
“When I arrived at the Municipal Center today, there was a press conference going on outside. A reporter confronted the Commissioner of the Guard. He claimed there are several missing alphas, each of them coinciding with a raid on the Dragon.”
Emerson frowned. “That’s disturbing.”
Dash nodded. “I approached him afterwards. He didn’t have the time to answer my questions, so I gave him my card. If he doesn’t call me in a few days, I plan to seek him out.”
“Do you think Jaye’s disappearance might be linked to these others?”
“It’s possible, and if it is, that means this is a much bigger investigation than what I was hired for—and could be much more dangerous.”
“Are you really equipped for something like that?”
Dash glared at him. “Yes.”
“You have a small security firm. This sounds like a job for the Guard.”
“The Guard might be the ones causing this, Em.”
“I meant the Black Guard, not the locals. Isn’t this something they do? Hold provincial law enforcement to task?” Emerson lifted a brow. “Amongst other things.”
“They do,” Dash replied. “But I would need to gather enough intel to show probable cause before I can reach out to my contacts there. I sense your brother might have some of the information I need—but I can’t be sure he’s not involved. I fear he might try to shut me down.”
“He’s not involved,” Emerson said. “You’re as safe with him as you are with me.”
Dash scowled. “He already tried to warn me off the case.”
“So did I. Just now. If he knows something is off and recognizes there’s danger, in moving forward, he might simply be trying to protect you.”
“I don’t need his—or your—protection. This is what I do, Emerson.
And I’m sorry, but I don’t know your brother well enough to trust him.
My gut’s being oddly silent. I want to meet with him and see what he knows,” Dash said, searching Emerson’s face.
“I’d feel more comfortable having you there with me—here on this boat, where it’s quiet and private. ”
Emerson stared at Dash a moment, thoughtful. “This boat is my secret hiding spot—away from my family.”
“Harrison already knows about it.” Dash held his gaze. “I need to know what Randall knows.”
Emerson sighed. “Fine. Why not? We can invite all of my brothers and turn it into a party.”
“Just you, me, and Randall is plenty,” Dash said, sarcasm lacing his tone. “We don’t need more brothers here if it goes sideways.”
“Are you implying Randall is dirty?”
“No,” Dash said, but a look crossed his face that hinted he might. “But you didn’t see him this evening. I’m concerned.” Dash shook his head. “He was nervous… and almost seemed scared.”
Emerson frowned. That didn’t sound like Randall, but how well did he know his brother these days?
The entire family joked with him about being a traitor.
He’d switched sides to work with the Guard instead of completing his Fire Academy training.
They’d spent little time together over the last few years.
Had his little brother gotten his head turned around while working for the Asshole Brigade?
No—he wasn’t going to doubt a member of his family. Randall was a Walker, through and through. They’d all been raised by the same loving parents.
Yet all Emerson could see was the disappointment in Randall’s eyes the night before.
Dash climbed off his lap. “Mind if I take a shower?”
“Go right ahead,” Emerson said.
“I seriously doubt the food I brought is still warm. We can nuke it after my shower if you’re hungry,” Dash said as he walked bare-assed to the bathroom.
“Yeah, sure,” Emerson said, enjoying the view. “The sweats you wore last night are folded on the corner of my bed, if you want to get comfortable.”
“I just might,” Dash yelled from across the boat.
Emerson heard the water turn on in the shower while his mind returned to its contemplation of Randall’s involvement with potential missing alphas. There was just no way.
“This shower’s pretty big,” Dash yelled from the back. “I wonder if two men can fit in it.”
“They probably can,” Emerson called.
A few seconds passed before Dash yelled, “That was an invitation, by the way. Either I actually suck at seduction or you’re being thickheaded. Which is it?”
Emerson leapt off the couch and raced to the bathroom, thoughts of his brother forgotten.
For the moment.