Chapter 8
Nolan
Fuck.
I reached out to catch my crumpling mate. His body was completely limp. Were it not for his heartbeat, I’d worry he was dead.
But he’s not.
Thank Fate, he’s alive.
Though clearly not well. Was this some type of human condition? Was he sick and didn’t tell me?
I rushed through the house, then laid him on the couch. There was only one doctor in town since shifters didn’t need routine medical care. The few humans we had here saw him, but otherwise, his practice was slow.
As a fellow shifter, he’d actually chosen to study medicine under human teachings in order to help any potential future mates or townspeople. It was a selfless thing to do given how we didn’t really need him to do so. Anyone sick could have driven to the neighboring town for help.
Since he had the knowledge, I didn’t feel bad for interrupting his day. Shifter or not, he would help my mate.
Dialing his direct number, I tried to keep calm about the situation. I could still see my mate’s chest rising and falling. Could still feel the pull to him.
Surely, if he were to die, that would all disappear. I would know if it worsened.
I didn’t want it to. I needed him. We’d only just found each other.
“Sheriff? Everything ok?” Doctor Hepbuck asked.
“No, it’s not ok. My mate… he’s unconscious. Something happened. I don’t know what to do.”
“Ah, yes. I heard there was a human running around town. I didn’t know he was yours. Do you need me to come to your place?”
“Yes! As soon as possible.” Now, preferably.
I tried to keep the peace with the humans. It did us no good to be on bad terms when being peaceful made more sense. We never wanted to draw attention to our little corner of the world.
“Give me ten minutes. I just need to lock up.” I heard keys in the background, so I hung up the phone. There was nothing else he could do from a distance. I needed him here. Needed him to come right away.
I knelt beside Barrett’s unmoving form. He was so still. Too still.
My fingers stroked over his hair, tracing the curve of his jaw. I was enamored by him. Had been since that first sighting. I wanted more of him. Far more than I thought he could give.
If just the mention of knotting had him falling apart, then what would the actual act do? I didn’t want to break him.
And yet, I wanted him so badly I could hardly stand it. Even now, when he wasn’t even looking at me or moving around, I felt the need to claim him.
There was a knock on my door eight minutes after my call with Dr. Hepbuck. I appreciated him coming as quickly as he had.
“Where is he?” he asked as he swept his way inside my home. There was no small talk, no need to ask questions. It was all efficient, just the way I liked it.
I waved him into the living room, where Barrett was still passed out. The doctor knelt beside him, much like I had. My bear growled softly at the sight.
“Easy, Alpha. I’m only here to help him. There is no desire coming from me. Take a deep breath. You’ll scent I’m not interested.”
My chest rose as I sucked in air, scenting to see if he was being honest. There was no trace of desire. I did catch a hint of concern, and a touch of fear.
Good. Let him be afraid of me.
Or maybe he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to help my mate? I lost some of my jealousy at the idea. I needed him focused. He wasn’t here to take Barrett away from me.
“Sorry, Doctor. Please continue.” I motioned for him to keep going.
Moving to where I could watch with an unobstructed view, I waited to see what the verdict would be. Dr. Hepbuck took out his stethoscope and listened to Barrett’s breaths. Then he used his freshly gloved hands to poke and prod my mate.
While I appreciated his use of gloves to minimize his scent, I still didn’t like how he touched him. It was too clinical. Like he was a generic patient instead of the most important man in my life.
He was precious. He should be treated as such.
“From what I can detect, he’s simply in shock. There is no evidence to suggest anything worse is going on. What were you doing right before he fainted?”
I shook my head. “We were talking. I was explaining to him about my bear.”
“You told him? Or did you show him?” He waved his hand before I could reply. “Doesn’t matter either way. He likely felt overwhelmed, and his body just shut down. He’ll wake up in a bit. Make sure he eats something and rests. Maybe don’t talk about knotting again so soon.”
The look he gave me was meant to get his point across. All it did was make me angry.
“It wasn’t like I planned this! I wanted to be honest with him. What if we had sex, and I knotted him without consent? He could get hurt. Or he could reject me.”
“Ahh, I see,” he replied.
Yes, I guess he did. I’d said the part I was most fearful of, even though I hadn’t meant to.
While it was rare for a mate bond to be rejected, it wasn’t impossible. Oftentimes, it happened when fated mates found each other after having already bonded with someone else. They would agree to reject the bond to keep living their lives as they had before.
But sometimes, the rejection came because one mate didn’t want to be bound to the other. They wanted the freedom to go about life without any ties to the person Fate deemed to be theirs.
In those instances, the break was often painful for the rejected party. It could even lead to an early death if the heartbreak was too much for the shifter side to bear.
“I’ll do my best. I can’t promise to avoid the subject completely. What if he wakes up with questions?”
Dr. Hepbuck gave me a soft smile. “Then you do your best to ease him into the conversation. Maybe let him lead. I know that might be hard for an Alpha like yourself.”
I shook my head. “I’d do anything for him. Anything.”
My words were a declaration. Even if he did choose to reject me, I’d be there for him as long as my body allowed it. I would spend my last breath ensuring his life was everything he dreamed of.
Right as Dr. Hepbuck went to stand, he froze. I watched him take in a deep breath, then his eyes widened.
“What is it?” I demanded.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, it seems your mate is rather… um, fertile, Alpha. I was taught how to smell the difference for shifters who are struggling to conceive.”
My cock went rock hard at the statement. I was torn between rutting into my mate and running from the house to avoid him at all costs.
I didn’t want to hurt him.
I wanted to fuck him.
I wasn’t sure I could do the latter without the first being an issue. While I knew Fate had made him for me, I didn’t know if his body could handle my knot. Worse, as an Alpha, my knot was even bigger than the other shifters in the pack. It was going to be an intense stretch for his body to allow mine inside him.
If it let me in at all.
“Thanks for letting me know, Doctor. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”
He understood I was dismissing him, though he didn’t appear pleased to have to leave. I didn’t take any offense. He was a doctor. It was in his blood to protect his patients.
“I won’t do anything without his consent. He’ll have to let me know himself that he wants to bond with me, and only then will I properly knot him. There is no need to worry,” I said when we reached the door.
“That’s good to hear, Alpha. I’ve seen some Alphas who don’t know how to restrain themselves when near their mate. Granted, most of them were with other shifters.”
He shrugged as he stepped over the threshold, like he didn’t just drop that little bomb on me. I’d have to reassure my bear about things once we were alone again. No need to let the doctor hear me argue with myself over keeping my mate’s wishes in mind.
The human side of me could see the dangers knotting him would bring. I also knew he needed to be enthusiastic about the bond for it to work long-term.
But the animal side of me, my shifter brain, wanted to claim its mate. It also wanted him to be safe and healthy though. I could work with that to encourage him to wait.
As if he could hear my thoughts, Barrett began to stir. I rushed to his side, eager to be the first thing he saw when his eyes opened.
“What happened?” he rasped without looking around. “I feel like death.”
I ran a hand through his hair. “You’re inside. I caught you so you didn’t hit your head. I’m sorry you feel so rough, mate.”
The words slipped out before I could think about how he might react. His eyes popped open, wide and… curious. I could also scent a bit of confusion in him.
“Mate? So that was all real? The talk of knots and stuff.” He blushed, then looked away from me like he couldn’t handle my proximity.
I refused to pull away from him. Refused to give him the space I probably should have.
Just because I stopped my bear from rutting him until he was bred didn’t mean I could take him away from his mate. That was asking for more trouble.
“Yes, it was all real. I apologize if you felt overwhelmed. I wasn’t quite sure how to break the news to you. As I said, I haven’t had to tell many humans about me being a shifter.”
He blinked at me, like he was thinking back over everything I’d said and showed him earlier. “Your bear is gorgeous. I can’t believe I’ve been drawing and painting him all these months. It makes me feel a bit like a stalker now.”
“Not a stalker, mate. It’s just Fate’s way of bringing us together. I’m honored you kept envisioning my bear for your art.” My beast preened at the reminder of Barrett’s talent. It was a blessing from Fate to be given such a beautiful mate, as well as someone who captured even the finest details of our animal side.
“What happens now? Do you need to —” he waved his hand at me like that was going to give me some idea of what he meant.
“Do I need to what?”
“Mate me. Knot me. I don’t know. Whatever it is mates do together? Does it hurt that we haven’t?”
Oh, my precious mate. He was so sweet for thinking of me.
“You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be ok. I can wait for you to be ready. There is no rush.” I took his hand in mine, careful not to move him too much. “And if you’re never ready, I’ll still be here to support you however you need me to.”
His eyes went wide, like he hadn’t even thought about not bonding with me. I wanted to rejoice over the fact, yet I couldn’t. Not really.
“The doctor came by when you were passed out. He said you needed to take it easy and eat once you woke up. How does some soup sound? I can heat some up.”
“Sounds delicious. Thank you.”
I pressed a quick kiss to his forehead, then left him on the couch to make the food. Hopefully with some space, this urge to claim him would ease up.
Yeah, right.
I could be on my deathbed, and I’d still crave him.